#i smack my hand on the table wack wack | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia · 1 month ago

Text

Understood some readers would prefer to read on tumblr I stead of ao3, so here's a recent one!

January 30th, Thursday, 1998.

DAY 3 OF THE FRIENDSHIP EXPERIMENT, SECOND STAGE

Dear Galileo,

So as previously reported, the first day went well (a few complications aside). I should have been in quite optimistic spirits then, no?

A foolish question. Gretchen Grundler is quite chipper when she wants to be, but when metaphorical shit hits the metaphorical fan, she gets quite not metaphorically antsy.

Literally. I had to pretend I was a nice, peaceful ant for 15 minutes this morning because I could carry on.

Still, the day was… Another success, for the most part. In some ways, it was quite enlightening.

But I digress. Let me regale you with today’s experiment, which I shall title “The Spa Study, or, An Assessment of Ashley Armbruster’s Curious Craving for Curative Baths”.

Or, in short, “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Chill the Fuck Out Sometimes”.

It all started this morning, after I pretended to be an ant, where I proceeded to pretend I was telling my parents the truth about my future hangout partner…

“Woah, a-get you’ hands in the air

And get to clappin’ ‘em and, like, back and forth

Because-a this is what you thought it wasn’t

It be’s the brothers representin’ the Dirty Dozen

I be the F-R-O, the double G

And check out my man, he goes by the name of, er, uh…

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady

I’m a M-80, you little like that Kim lady

I’m buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer

Cursin’ at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer

You wacker than the motherfucker you bit yo’ style from

You aint’ gon’ sell two copies if you press a double album

Admit it, fuck it, while we comin’ out in the open

I’m doin’ acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin’ dope then

My name is Marshall Mathers, Ii’m an alcoholic (Hi, Marshall)

I have a disease and they don’t know what to call it

Better hide your wallet ‘cause I’m comin’ up quick to strip yo’ cash

Bought a ticket to yo’ concert just to come and whip yo’ ass

Bitch, I’m comin’ out swingin’ so fast it’ll make yo’ eyes spin

You getting’ knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson (pssh)

The proof is in the puddin’, just ask DeShaun Holton

I’ll slit yo’ motherfuckin’ throat worse than Ron Goldman

So when you see me on yo’ block with two Glocks

Screamin’, “Fuck the world” like 2Pac

I just don’t give a fuck

So put my tape back on the rack

Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack

I just don’t give a fuck

But see me on the street and duck

‘Cause you gon’ get stuck, stole and snuffed

‘Cause I just don’t give a fuck”

Sitting at the breakfast table (this time, the Grundlers had convinced her to at least eat some of their healthy and cheap grown up cereal), Gretchen twitchily jotted down details of the day’s experiment, one which she had yet to tell Ashley A, but didn’t feel like she would need much convincing.

If anything, she was still trying to convince herself.

‘I suppose it couldn’t hurt, really. Plus, scientists have to risk themselves all the time for the craft. Why, would the Curies have discovered radium if they hadn’t taken the plunge into cancer? Heck, if they weren’t truly careful, we would be making Godzilla movies about them!’, she muttered to herself, trying to motivate but mostly just spilling nervous thoughts onto the notebook like milk from her cereal bowl (which, coincidentally, was also spilling a little). The bran flakes floated by and popped like mines in a field, and Gretchen was the bomb defusal expert too busy writing about her lover at home to eat them.

‘…I must have my head checked. It can’t be healthy to have this many gay thoughts about a strictly platonic friend.’, Gretchen voiced, ignoring how dumb that statement sounded and resuming her antsy writing (not to be confused with her antsy acting upstairs).

Mr. Grundler, who was simply enjoying the music billowing from their radio, attempted to strike up conversation with his daughter, who he could tell was feeling the butterflies in her stomach. He knew her well enough by now to know the symptoms beforehand. ‘That Eminem could really be going places soon. I heard Dre might be helping him on his next LP.’

Gretchen let out an ‘Mm hmm’, the kind of Mm hmm that indicated she was only kind of listening and mostly sunk into her work. Phil recognized it, as he had emitted it many a time himself. Trying from another angle, he coughed ‘You know, they say a pair of more… Experienced eyes can often clear up what seems unclear right now.’

Gretchen simply nodded this time, eating air with her spoon instead of cereal.

Phil pursed his lips. This would take a little less subtlety, but would she allow that?

Slowly leaning over, as if he was simply assisting with homework (something which Phil never really had to do with Gretchen but still), he whispered ‘What’s grinding your gears?’.

Gretchen sighed, realizing he wasn’t gonna let up. This was unusual for her, since she normally reveled in listening to her father’s angle on things, even things she knew more about. She would have loved nothing more than to sit back a little and see his mind work, his eyes process the information, his lips curl a little as he considered the questions, his fingers gently tap on the paper, that sound that could rock her to sleep, the tiniest reveal of his true excitement at encountering a problem. To the Grundlers, such work was as fun as a rollercoaster.

But this wasn’t homework, or calculations for an experiment. This was something far more… Personal.

And Gretchen unfortunately couldn’t share it… Just yet.

‘It’s just…’, she suddenly closed the notebook, searching for a lie that wasn’t too mean. Was there a way to tell the truth without telling it? She’d have to try. ‘…I’m simply trying to figure out how to approach today’s hangout session with Ashley R.’

‘Well, that’s basically the truth.’, Gretchen thought, proud of her excuse. Ashley A would have somehow sputtered out some crap about suddenly being blind or whatnot, and still get away with it.

Phil nodded, hiding his knowing smile. It was sort of adorable that his daughter thought she was good at lying about this, considering she muttered everything she wrote at listening volume. ‘Hmm, I see. What is it this time?’

Seeing no reason to lie about the specific hangout, Gretchen didn’t. ‘It’s a… Spa thing.’

Mr. Grundler now understood the problem. ‘You know, Spas aren’t only for illustrious elitists with troves drowning in trinkets.’

Gretchen normally would have understood what he meant, but she was so anxious (even biting her pencil while fiddling it up and down) that she found herself blinking and mumbling out a ‘What?’

‘What your father means is that you don’t have to be a fancy pants to enjoy a nice little massage!’, Mrs. Grundler cried, marching in with her cleaning robot and repairing it on the table, right next to the orange juice. Such was a typical Grundler morning, and the three of them wouldn’t have it any other way. ‘I think it sounds rather fun! Great idea by Ashley A…’, Mrs. Grundler started, only for Mr. Grundler to wave his arms in alarm, morse code tapping S.O.S. Once more, Gretchen was too distracted to notice what she would have always noticed, so Mrs. Grundler got away with her slip and way too loudly stated ‘R, THAT IS, ASHLEY R!’

While Phil wiped his brow with his hand, Gretchen placed her chin on her palm, which was connected to her arm, which was on the table, in a spot of spilt milk. ‘Well, actually, it was… My idea.’

Both parents were silently surprised, but refused to judge. Gretchen was a growing girl, allowed to experiment with new things. Unlike other house holds… ‘Well, it’s riveting to see you so open to fresh ideas, Gretchen!’, Mrs. Grundler tried, hoping that would raise a tiny smile.

Gretchen still frowned however, the potential problems permeating in her mind’s eye. ‘I suppose… It’s just… It’s really important. Ashley R might have a few similarities with me, but she’s… Still an Ashley. She has hobbies and vocations that a lady of science and… Rowdy shenanigans such as myself isn’t quite accustomed to. Good friends must be able to walk in another’s shoes, or in this case, another’s natural habitat, and at least try and find common ground. Lions and Zebras both inhabit at the watering hole, after all.’

The Grundlers couldn’t have loved their daughter more if they tried. But they knew she wasn’t going to just let them hug her now, so they instead nodded softly and held each other’s hands, sharing very knowing looks. ‘I’m sure that it will work out swimmingly, Gretchen, even if you don’t like the spa date. HANG. I MEANT HANG.’, Mrs. Grundler sputtered while Mr. Grundler shook his head affectionately and patted Gretchen’s hand. ‘Plus, if you get worked up, remember the mantra we practiced.’

Gretchen nodded resolutely. ‘All the moons from Pluto to Earth.’

‘That’s the ticket! Now, you should probably get going. Want me to drive…’, Phil started, only for Doris to shake her head, making two fingers walk together. Phil ah’d and nodded, realizing. ‘That is, you should get going. You wouldn’t want to keep ASHLEY R waiting, would you?’, he winked at Doris, who couldn’t help but blush at her husband.

Gretchen, missing all this because this is a story about oblivious gays, did you think they’d stop being oblivious about other things, nodded once more and marched off, notebook and backpack at the ready. She still didn’t eat enough, but hey, at least she took a few bites. Plus, there was food in the mall.

As she stepped out of the front porch onto another oddly hot day for January, Gretchen looked back at her parents, who were now eagerly fixing the robot together as if it were the most romantic parental activity ever and smiled for the first time that morning. ‘I’m so lucky.’

Then, she grimaced, as she turned towards the street, remembering her challenge. ‘And here I am, trying to befriend someone who probably wouldn’t fix a robot at the breakfast table. Oh, I hope massages don’t kill brain cells.’

And so, she walked off, ready to face destiny with a pounding heart and sweaty palms.

Destiny arrived far too soon for her nerve’s tastes, in the form of a chipper but clearly tired Ashley A, still blinking away the sandman’s gift. The rich girl was yawning as she put her glasses on and used Gretchen’s tall figure to keep herself from falling until she balanced herself. ‘Long, restless night? I can relate.’, Gretchen questioned, as she kept writing in her notebook about the day’s experiment.

Ashley nodded and yawned again, lightly bapping her cheeks to wake up. ‘Those Dawson’s Creek, Party of Five, Spice World and Katie Winslet posters won’t put themselves up!’

‘I relate… Slightly less now.’, Gretchen admitted, as she weighed how to ask Ashley about her plan for the day.

Ashley then made her job easier for her, as she clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes cutely. ‘So… What’s the next step in the Friendship Experiment? We buyin’ double the gum?’

Gretchen side eyed her with a smirk, shaking her head. ‘Unfortunately, Ms. Sequel, that’s not what we’re doing.’ Swallowing the ball of spit in her mouth, she choked out ‘It’s, well… Um…’

Lowering her voice to a near imperceptible whisper, she stammered ‘I was thinking of going to the… S-Spa…’

Ashley, however, could barely hear her, so she tilted her head and hummed in confusion. ‘Sorry, but I literally can’t hear you.’

‘Of course.’, Gretchen sighed in annoyance. Never an easy way out. Clearing her throat, she raised her voice a little. ‘I was thinking of going to the spa.’

‘...What?’, Ashley asked again, blinking in confusion. ‘You sound like you’re underwater.’

‘I was THINKING of GOING to the SPA!’, Gretchen raised her voice, now genuinely miffed, hoping no one in the vicinity heard her. She was clenching her fists and shaking, mostly from anxiety, but still.

Ashley stared at her blankly for too many seconds. ‘...What?’

‘I WAS THINKING OF GOING TO THE SPA!!!’, Gretchen shouted one last time, so loudly and strongly that it made the ear bud fly out of Ashley’s ear, emitting a low but noticeable “Tubthumping” by Chumbawama. Ashley sheepishly grinned. ‘Oh, right, I was listening to music.’, She giggled, wagging her finger and singing “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you are never gonna keep me down”.

Gretchen groaned, half frustrated with Ashley, half disappointed in herself for losing her cool like that. ‘Sorry, I’m just… Unsure of today’s experiment.’

‘How come?’, Ashley asked, and Gretchen remembered that she still hadn’t heard what they were gonna do today. Defeated, she muttered it while walking away. ‘I was thinking of going to the spa.’

Ashley’s high pitched gasp and squeal sent shockwaves of worry across Gretchen’s mind. ‘A SPA DATE?! OH, LITERALLY TOTALLY SCHWAY!!!’

Gretchen ignored her blush at the word date and waited for Ashley to finish her victory dance so she could elaborate. ‘Normally this wouldn’t be my cup of tea, but this is a crucial part of the experiment, one that, if not passed, jeopardizes the entire relationship.’

Ashley slowed her dance and gulped, alarmed at the serious tone. ‘Talk about a buzz kill. Why so on the real, Gretch?’

‘Because, Ash, true friends are open to each other’s more… Unique interests, even if they are markedly different.’

Ashley nodded and mumbled ‘I see…’, and Gretchen rolled her eyes, understanding what that meant. ‘You don’t get it.’

‘Not a clue.’

‘It means that my idea of a good time does NOT involve cucumber slices on one’s eyes or a mud bath, which I thought was something you people hated.’, Gretchen explained, not hiding her disdain for the activity.

Ashley, meanwhile, was still confused, as evidenced by her tapping on her chin while avoiding all the cracks on the street. ‘But didn’t we go to the spa all the way back in THE GREAT ASHLEY BAMBOOZLING CAPER? You didn’t seem to mind it that much.’

‘Adrenaline plus we were so close to succeeding that I could have put up with a black hole. But that was work. This is fun, and I take it VERY seriously. Why do you think the gang and I get into misadventures once a week I mean day?’, Gretchen illuminated, not bothering to skip the cracks, little twigs snapping at her heels.

Ashley shrugged, finding Gretchen’s attitude perplexing. ‘Girl, take a chill pill. It’s just a spa! It’s not gonna bite!’

‘See, that’s my point! You practically live and breathe that kind of stuff, and I find it as inviting as dinner with a female praying mantis. Which is bad.’, she quickly elaborated, Ashley beginning to understand. ‘If I don’t like this, then maybe I won’t like other stuff, like going shopping for clothes, or gossiping, or…’

‘A sleepover, I get it.’, Ashley bit her lip, now nervous too. This was a lot more important than she realized. She could also now see how strained Gretchen seemed. Her hands kept wringing each other, her fingers often twirled around while tapping each other, her teeth grinded, and she seemed to clench everything, even her shoulders. Was she always this anxious?

Suddenly, it melted away a little, as Ashley placed a smooth, soft and comforting palm on Gretchen’s clenching shoulder. ‘Hey, maybe you’ll like it. After all, I tried something very different and unusual lately, and it’s been pretty dope.’

‘Which is?’, Gretchen asked, not bothering to look back.

‘Hanging out with this pretty wicked brainiac, yea tall, hella smart, answers to Gretchen Grundler, ever heard of her?’

Gretchen finally looked back, and Ashley flashed that winning smile of hers, and she couldn’t stay worried, at least, for now. ‘You have a real annoying habit of growing on me, you noticed?’, Gretchen smirked, squeezing Ashley’s hand, who squeezed back. ‘You would know.’

Suddenly, they realized they had reached school, and quickly separated, shoes slapping off the playground pavement. ‘Mall, 15:30 sharp, got it?’, Gretchen cried, as she quickly joined Vince’s kickball team.

‘I’ll come up with a good excuse!’, Ashley flashed her two thumbs up, before dumping her disguise and quick changing into Ashley A behind a bush shaped like a closet. ‘I’m getting better at this lying shit!’, Ashley praised herself, only to run into Ashley B, the two now lying on the ground, Ashley T and Q helping them up respectively. ‘Owie…’, both of them muttered, opening their eyes to now see each other. Ashley A immediately turned nervous while Ashley B grinned, unknowingly turning an already complicated day far more difficult. ‘Oh, Ashley A! Great! We were, like, wondering where you were and stuff!’

‘Oh, I… Took the scenic route!’, Ashley A excused, a shaky smile doing the salsa on her lips. ‘Gretchen’s kinda pretty, so it’s not totally a lie…’, Ashley thought, a thought which would bite her in the behind relatively soon.

‘Totally, totally, very schway.’, Ashley B waved it off, clearly more interested in what she had to say. Ashley A was really getting tired of that. ‘Did I use to do that all the time? No wonder Gretchen’s worried. What if she thinks I wouldn’t try for her?’

While Ashley got lost in her worried thoughts, Ashley B ordered Ashley T to lay down the morning report for them, and Ashley Q led them into the clubhouse while there was still time before class. Soon, they were in The Ashley’s famous hangout, it feeling like a strange place almost after so long for Ashley A. Three of them were now sitting on the velvet red couch underneath light pink sashes, and opening up the secret candy bar, Ashley Q passed them a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup bag each, as they snacked and gossiped, the “Spiceworld” album ringing out banger after banger.

‘So, first, Megan is TOTALLY packing fake Jordans. I heard Library Kid and I think some other girl talking about it while I was at the library returning some… Magazines.’, Ashley T dished out, stuttering towards the end, hoping no one caught her white lie. They WERE magazines… Just with a lot of pictures of people fighting. Totally normal. ‘Oh, and Jenny, she’s trying to shake it up with a blue top that does NOT match her ginger hair at all. Like, I know they’re complimentary colors, but, well, Jenny just doesn’t pull it off.’, she lied truly there, but that was the point. No one got to be fashionable BUT The Ashley’s, and Ashley B and Q giggled haughtily and nodded while they popped in peanut butter cups. ‘How true, wouldn’t you say, Ashley A?’

Ashley A snapped out of her daydreaming and hurriedly nodded, a non-committal ‘Mmm hmm’. Truthfully, she was haunted by two specific thoughts, two that made her feel like she was having an out of body experience: 1. She really didn’t like how all their gossip was mean, and 2. Gretchen.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t picture Gretchen there, sitting between Q and T, laughing with them and sipping some ice green tea, sharing her own gossip, even gossip that wasn’t mean. It just wasn’t like her, was it? ‘She’s nothing like them. And, in a way, that means she’s nothing like me. That’s a LOT of differences.’

If she couldn’t imagine Gretchen chilling at the clubhouse, how could she ever enjoy a spa? Or a shopping day? Or a sleepover?!

And vice versa: Could Ashley truly hang out in the dirty playground? Play kickball? Conduct experiments? Could she, even in disguise, fit in with the likes of Spinelli and Gus, kids she had bullied since the moment she laid her eyes on them?

‘Ashley A? Ashley A!’

Two finger snaps sent Ashley A crashing back to reality, observing Ashley B’s miffed expression. ‘Girl, am I talking to the hand or not? I was just reporting that I heard there’s a girl who’s crushing on Gus! Gus!! How aren’t you rolling on the floor laughing?’

Ashley A gulped. Once, she would have found that hilarious. But now, it just felt so… Mean. Could she really do that?

‘Fake it till you make it’, she thought, and with a brave breath, she emitted a fake laugh, far too shrill and loud for her, but thankfully enough to cast away the suspicion for now. ‘That really… Totally helps my mood!’

‘Oh, are you okay?’, Ashley T asked, genuinely worried, but Ashley B simply ignored, clearly caring more about the response to her dirt and less about the responder. ‘Oh, by the way, who’s paying for the spa this time? I’d bother to memorize the paying chart but that’s Ashley A’s job, as our most beloved president. I could do it, but you know, duty calls for her.’, B reminded, just a tinge of jealousy coloring her words, as she filed her nails perhaps a little too angrily.

Ashley A’s face turned pale (but for once, not to her liking). ‘Mall Day Thursday!’, she exclaimed, as if she were the subject of an edvard munch painting.

‘Um, duh! Ashley, you are REALLY distracted today. Not very presidential…’, Ashley B once again stung her friend, while Q and T gave Ashley A weird looks. It was only their weekly tradition. HOW did she forget?

‘Oh, right, of course! I’m just… Well, you see…’, Ashley A scrambled for an excuse. She couldn’t be at two places at the same time, right?

‘...Better keep that for a far more pressing situation.’, Ashley A decided, unknowingly setting up a truly disastrous scenario. For now, she needed a good lie. But what? ‘I…’, she felt her heart pound and her palms sweat (‘Eww’), as the other Ashley’s now bore holes in her face, squinting at her strange behavior. She couldn’t let Gretchen down! She just couldn’t! That would be a catastrophe!

Catastrophe.

Cat-astrophe.

Cat.

‘Sometimes, my genius impresses even me.’, Ashley smirked at the 4th wall, which was very pretty today, someone must have dusted lately.

‘...Muffin! Muffin, my poor little baby snuggly wuggly lil angel schmoopsie poo googly bear is feeling…’, Ashley paused for dramatic effect, a hand over her shoulder, eyes closed, as she prayed to God that this would work. ‘...Ill!’

The other Ashleys all seemed confused, tilting their heads.

Ashley A realized her mistake and was quick to correct it. ‘Oh, I meant bad Ill, not good ill.’

The three Ashleys all gasped accordingly, reacting apropos: Ashley T was dabbing her tear stained cheeks with her pink handkerchief, Ashley Q had already fainted, and Ashley B was already phoning 9-1-1, stating ‘Yes, it is an emergency, my daddy will cut the funding if you don’t answer right now! Cancer patients? What did they ever do for me?’

Ashley A panicked, realizing that could lead to her being discovered. ‘Oh, don’t worry, it’s only… Starting stages! But someone must volunteer to be with my baby girl, and I would never trust my family with her!’, she reassured, waving her arms all over.

Ashley Q and T bought it, simply happy Ashley M had proper care, but Ashley B did have a habit of making things harder for Ashley A. ‘Well, while it is disappointing, we totally understand! A valid excuse, for sure! But we should come over, anyway. Just to offer a helping hand to our honorary member! A sick kitty is nothing to be sneezed at!’

She couldn’t really tell them not to go. Sighing, Ashley A realized she’d owe Menlo another favor, but at least she and Gretchen would be safe. ‘No further complications’, she thought with a relieved smile, as she popped in another Peanut Butter Cup.

Meanwhile, in Ms. Finster’s office, further complications were indeed being formulated that very instant.

‘Randall! Randall!!’, Ms. Finster cried out, huffing and puffing after a hard training session. ‘Where could that blasted boy be?!’, she muttered, pacing around her room in her usual drill sergeant way; Methodical and precise. Every movement, every action, had to be carefully coordinated and planned. EVERYTHING had to be under control. ‘Lest there be chaos. Lest there be anarchy. Lest there be…’, Finster nearly finished her tragic muse, only for the door to open with a slam, a panting Randall instantly falling to his knees in apology. ‘Finster, please, accept my most humble apology, I was just doing what you said…’, Randall started, but Finster was quick to wave him off, sitting at her desk, the lack of light making her seem dramatic and all powerful, beady eyes glaring back from her thin spectacles. ‘I have no time for groveling, Randall. I KNOW you were doing what I said. If you weren’t, you’d be sitting your sorry little keyster in detention!’

Taking a moment to relax (but still ever alert), Finster snapped her fingers. ‘Morning report, boy, let’s hear it.’

‘Of course!’, Randall cried, a little more excited than usual. Finster noticed the inflection immediately. She had a way with that. Sniffing the truth from your soul in an instant. Meanwhile, Randall flipped through his notebook, which was color coded, for a change. ‘You’ll be pleased to know I’ve sorted it through priority levels!’, Randall boasted, half ego trip half genuine desire to please his superior. ‘See, Green is your usual garden variety trouble, some half baked Hustler Kid operation, Lawson being a plain old jerk, etc. Then we have Orange, for slightly more troubling news, say, Mundy, Kurst, Sue Bob and Lazy Kid are up to something, or King Bob is getting a little too big for his throne. Now, Red is normally the most dangerous color, but I was thinking that could be reserved for Detweiller and his gang, since they’re usually your top priority, and that’s because currently our focus is on the Ashley’s, hence the Purple section, I thought that was pretty clever of me, since Purple is the Ashley color…’

‘I asked for a morning report, Randall, not bootleg Bob Ross. Give me the 4-1-1, stat!’, Finster ordered, clearly a little impatient this morning. Randall would normally have bitten back at any kid saying that to him, but instead he quickly whipped out a ready made thermos of the blackest coffee he could find that morning at the farmer’s market and poured her a mug. Not a word had to be shared. It was a routine as familiar as family dinner for the duo.

Pertaining to her report request, Randall nodded gently, still a little upset that his color coding went unnoticed. ‘As you wish, Finster. I did as you said, tailed the Ashley’s meeting. Who would have suspected the plush pile? I must say, it was quite comfortable! Nicer than an action figure pile, anyway. That was a pretty whomping Friday…’

Finster raised one eyebrow while sipping, not needing to look. Randall stared down at his feet and muttered an apology. ‘That is, that was a pretty crummy Friday.’

Finster grunted, indicating he continue. In the darkness of the office, the only real light emitted from Randall’s eyes, glad to have someone’s attention for once. ‘Well, I can’t say I got a LOT of dirt, but we’re not dealing with any Sunday School getup here, Finster. Ashley A isn’t attending the weekly mall visit.’

‘So? She hasn’t the last few weeks, last week excepted, thanks to that so called sickness of hers. Probably wanted to be pampered, even if it meant missing out on her quality time with her sycophantic crew.’, Finster ignored the intel, but Randall insisted, clearing his throat. ‘But see, that’s the thing… Ashley told them she was taking care of her sick cat. Only she didn’t want them to visit just yet.’

‘...Randall, I’m missing the part where this turns into dirt.’, Finster complained, voice rising in frustration. ‘If you don’t have anything to say, then stop wasting my time and get to class already!’

Randall, panicking at the mistaken assumption of his failure, was quick to correct. ‘But Ms. Finster! I know her cat isn’t sick!’

Finster, still not believing, began to stand up to open the door. ‘Randall, don’t make me kick you out. It’s humiliating for the both of us.’

On his knees again and clutching her leg, Randall cried ‘I know because she told Gretchen she’d come up with an excuse!’

THAT stopped Finster. Like a mole looking up from the ground onto the sun, Finster’s wrinkly rat like face scrunched up as she opened the blinds to her office, exposing the blinding sunlight and most importantly: Her domain.

‘Grundler? Considering her company, she steers clear of my iron fist more than one would assume.’, Finster muttered, Randall the only recipient of her turning gears. ‘Sure, she’s got that troublemaker gene, but only in association with Detweiller. What could POSSIBLY get her to become strange bedfellows with Armbruster?’

‘That’s what I was thinking! And remember what I told you about a few weeks ago, when Ashley was running around school with her backpack?’, Randall added, but Finster was already advancing in her plan. ‘Yes, yes… Yes, it’s time.’

‘Time? Time for what?’, Randall asked, checking his schedule. ‘I don’t need to massage your feet until…’

‘Not that, boy! It’s time for the PLAN!’, Finster emphasized, and suddenly, Randall realized, and gulped, nervous. ‘I’m… I’m still not sure about this, Finster. I mean, I’m more of a secret listener. A “Hide behind the bush and peak” listener. A “Doesn’t disguise himself as a girl to collect info” listener. Point is… Why a girl?’

‘I’m on budget watch thanks to the Cafeteria incident. Who knew so many parents would find interrogations “excessive”?’, Finster explained, but she didn’t seem as firm. She shared a sympathetic look. ‘Unfortunately, we can only use drama club costumes, and the only ones that fit your scrawny little body are girl ones.’

‘Oh man… I knew I should have stuck to that fitness regimen you suggested.’, Randall groaned, sounding guilty. Finster knew the tone well, and tried to lower her usual firm and rigid tone to reassure him. ‘It’s just a costume, Randall. Think of it as… Acting!’, she snapped her fingers, remembering Randall’s failed dream of playing Santa Claus at the school play.

As predicted, Randall’s eyes instantly lit up, and he wiggled his arms, unable to hold his excitement back. ‘You’re right, Finster! That’ll show that snooty club what for!’

‘Exactly! Plus, if we bag the Ashley’s, you know what that would mean for the school?’, Finster reminded him of their broader goals, as she stared down at the children in the playground. Kickball, marbles, other extracurricular activities… It all seemed rather by the numbers. But Finster saw more, knew more.

‘Look at them, Randall. So blind to the threats of their own indulgence. They let hustlers and bullies and Ashley’s get away with anything, which makes them think they can bend my rules, twist my codes. They think I’m unfair, think I’m some kind of monster. But they don’t understand… I’m the only thing standing between them and total anarchy. I’m protecting them. You realize that, don’t you, Randall?’

It was an honest question, a momentary crack of doubt, and Randall was quick to nod. ‘I’m dressing up like a girl for you, am I not, Finster? You don’t find this cause alone!’

Finster nearly allowed herself a small smile, but…

‘I can’t. Not after… Him. I can’t trust anyone again.’, she reminded herself, so she remained vigilant. Randall had to truly earn such a thing as a smile from Muriel Finster. ‘Attention, soldier. Actions speak louder than words.’

Randall, understanding, saluted as hard as he could, then ran off to put on his disguise.

Finster saluted back, nodding, before sitting down at her desk, darkness spreading once again, except around her eyes. A necessary devil for a playground full of potential demons. Someone had to stand guard.

‘Someone has to protect them from themselves.’, she grunted, staring at a framed photograph of a ginger woman and blonde man, straight from the late 60’s, with smiles too innocent for this world.

Meanwhile, just before the class bell rang, the Gang reconvened by the see saw. ‘How was the kickball g…’, TJ started, only for Gretchen to walk past, lost in her own thoughts. She just kept writing in her notebook, looking and sounding stressed, her anxious mutters sticking with the gang as they saw her depart without a word nor a look.

‘...Ame?’, TJ scratched his head, while Gus (who was on the see saw with Mikey) worriedly stared at Vince, wiping his sweat from the game. ‘Gretchen acting weird again?’

‘You better believe it, Short Stop.’, Vince grunted, leaning on a part of the jungle gym, his brows furrowed in a way only someone who really cared did. ‘I don’t get it. She usually enjoys being on my team. Did I forget to brush my teeth? Maybe she just doesn’t like kickball anymore? Is my hair okay?’

‘Your hair’s fine, get off it!’, Spinelli rolled her eyes, before offering a dark glare at the departing Gretchen. ‘I smell something fishy, however.’

‘Sorry, I just couldn’t wait to eat my tuna sandwich.’, Mikey apologized, on the other end of the swing, worried about his friends suspicions.

‘I have to admit, something seems off. Gretchen never acts like that during kickball.’, TJ thought, a flash of concern across his eyes. Was Gretchen hiding something from them? If so, what? Was it wrong to want to know?

‘I say we do something about it. It’s been like this for weeks! We should follow her today and see what she’s up to!’, Spinelli pitched, wiggling her fingers around as if she was already spying Gretchen doing something devious.

Mikey gulped, thinking back to his discovery of a crush… Which to answer if he was right or wrong would sort of defeat the purpose of this story, would it not? ‘Um… I don’t know… Isn’t that a breach of Gretchen’s privacy?’

‘No it’s not! It’s just making sure she’s… Okay! You know? As the caring friends we are! Very caring!’, Vince added enthusiastically, cringing at his tone. He must have sounded so dumb.

‘Yeah, but… Would any of us like it if Gretchen spied on us?’, Gus countered, trying desperately to lower Mikey on his end of the see saw. ‘My dad says that spies are the most despised of all military positions! He’s not one for exaggeration with that sort of thing!’

‘I guess the deciding vote is yours, Teej. What do you say?’, Spinneli asked, hoping he would agree… Just because she was really passionate about this, no other reason!

TJ rubbed his chin. As leader, he always had to make hard calls, but this one was up there. He totally saw where Mikey and Gus came from, but…

‘Sometimes you gotta bend the rules to do what’s right. I’ve always thought that. All right. We’re doing it. We’re spying on Gretchen.’, TJ declared, rubbing his fist in his palm. The reactions were mixed, but relenting. There was no backing off now.

A moment of tranquil worry settled on the gang…

‘Yes, let’s spy on Gretchen indeed!’

The kids all turned around to see a disguised Randall, with a clearly fake wig, terribly applied lipstick, and an old timey dress. He looked like he was out of a Shakespeare play about bad liars. Waving his hand, he spoke in a stupidly shrill voice. ‘Oh, heh heh, my name is… Randall-ina! Ain’t I pretty?’

‘Randall, are you whomping serious? Get outta here before I treat you to a knuckle sandwich!’, Spinelli roared at him, Randall running off in fear.

‘...That was weird.’, TJ commented, while Vince shrugged. Mikey then got off, crossing his arms in protest at the decision to spy, while Gus flew off from the force of the see saw finally moving. ‘I’m okay! Randall-ina broke my fall!’, Gus reassured, while Randall moaned in pain.

‘I’m telling you, it’s gonna be FABULOUS!’, Ashley shrieked with excitement, as she and Gretchen rode on the Grundler Comet, only at a far more sane pace this time. There was no major rush, after all. The excited popular girl, wearing her “embarrassing according to the Ashleys” helmet, hung on tight to Gretchen’s waist as the duo cycled through the same old sights and sounds of the town: Families tossing frisbees in the park, dogs barking to and fro, the warm scent of raised donuts and hot tamales dancing with scrapple and pierogi, sunlight sparkling off toy store windows, clouds lazily floating by, and a constant permeating atmosphere that could be summed up in one word: Busy. Not as busy as New York, but what was?

Gretchen, still feeling quite anxious (her stomach was hurting a bit and her bike handles were drenching with her palm sweat), momentarily swiveled her head back to answer. ‘I’m telling you, I have understandable reservations!’

‘I’m telling you, you’re overthinking it!’, Ashley countered, shaking her head and wishing Gretchen would just let loose already. Couldn’t be so hard.

‘I’m telling you, you’re underthinking it!’, Gretchen retorted, rolling her eyes, wind blowing her hair into Ashley’s face.

Ashley, moving her face up, suddenly widened her eyes and turned white. ‘I’m telling you, TURN RIGHT TURN RIGHT TURN RIGHT!’

Gretchen, turning back, gasped as she saw the gigantic truck full of cat food, and sharply turned right, sending the Grundler Comet flying towards the mall, the two girls somehow parking perfectly after turning around and around in circles wildly.

‘...Well, I guess now you’ll REALLY feel how relaxing it is, huh?’, Ashley joked sheepishly, as Gretchen gave her an annoyed glance and wrote down tersely “Bad cycling partner, ironically.”

Ashley gulped, rubbing her neck sheepishly as Gretchen trudged into the mall, clearly a little miffed. ‘I really need to make this work for Gretchen, or I could fail the experiment!’, Ashley thought in worry, and she rushed inside, trying to act like the most gracious host possible, as if she owned the mall. In a way, she did, to be fair. ‘Can I offer you an Auntie Anne’s Pretzel? We could get the Original Nuggets, or maybe the Cinnamon Sugar, you know, if you like it sweet! And an Orange Julius Original? We can share, or I can pay for two orders, you know, I have the money after all!’, Ashley offered sweetly, curtseying, hoping Gretchen was a fan of that kind of stuff.

Gretchen raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you trying to butter me up?’

‘I just really want this to work.’, Ashley said through gritted teeth, eyes flying back and forth, hoping Gretchen would take her offer. Her outstretched hand twitched like a caffeine addled squirrel with a hard 9-5 at a major stock market.

Gretchen sighed and rolled her eyes, staring trepidatiously at the soft as the first winter snow hand. ‘I don’t really see how sugar’s gonna calm me down.’

‘It calms me down.’

‘You’re a scientific anomaly.’

‘I’m gonna take that as a compliment.’, Ashley grinned and wiggled her eyebrows, finally making Gretchen laugh. She had to resist pumping her fist at her success.

Gretchen, fighting back the urge to tell her how fun she is even at the worst times, said ‘Okay, look, I love sugar too, I’m just saying, I don’t know how that’s gonna calm me down.’

‘Gretch, please. You said that we need to try each other’s interests. How will we if we don’t, you know, try?’, Ashley countered, and Gretchen had to admit, she was making sense. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she grunted ‘I’m sorry. I’m just… I don’t know. I think I’m just having an anxious day.’

‘Is there anything I can do?’, Ashley instantly asked, despite probably not understanding what anxiety really meant, and in a way, that was enough. Gretchen couldn’t help but smile, and while she still felt nervous as all hell, she patted her friend’s shoulder. ‘You already are. Come on, don’t let me chicken out. Let’s see if all this expensive stuff really deserves to be expensive.’

‘It’s not that expensive.’, Ashley countered, only to understand how large the gulf was between her and Gretchen’s finances. Stifling an awkward cough, she mumbled ‘For… Me, not for others. I am not the only person in the world.’

‘Just take me there.’, Gretchen nudged her, feeling a little lighter. Happily, Ashley clasped her hand and they raced to get their snacks before their spa date. In a way, Gretchen was grateful for the prelude, but still, she wished they could get this over with ASAP. ‘Who knows what could go wrong if we don’t hurry up?’, she thought, tapping her chin, unaware of how right she truly was.

‘All right, Ashleys! Stand at attention!’, Ashley B ordered, feeling quite pleased, as she, Ashley Q and Ashley T (all dressed in adorable differently colored nurse outfits) all marched towards the Armbruster house, then stopped in front of the door. Ashley B took out a small yellow notebook with a bumblebee color pattern and fuzzy covers, and opened it at a specific page, clearing her throat. She had waited so long to deliver a leadership speech like this, and with Ashley A currently at her house, this was her chance to prove she could do it too. ‘Maybe even better’, Ashley B chuckled to herself as she laid down the law. ‘Distinguished Ashleys before me, do you know WHY we’re gracing this already hallowed abode with our most esteemed presence?’

Ashley Q and Ashley T, the former curtseying as a salute, the latter playing a tiny pink bugle, exchanged curious glances. ‘Um, yeah? Ashley M is sick and…’, they both started, only for Ashley B to offer them a look that could kill. ‘Procedure, people! Have you no penchant for pomp OR circumstance?’

‘Wow, Ashley B really worked on her vocabulary.’, Ashley T commented, and Ashley Q nodded. ‘Must be her way to succeed as acting president of the Ashleys.’

The two curtsied silently, allowing B to have the room.

‘I’ve never had the room before. Is THIS what Ashley A felt like this whole time? No wonder she was, like, totally drunk with power and junk, this shit is schway all the way, baby!’, Ashley B thought to herself, taking it in for a moment, before delivering her speech.

‘Ahem. Distinguished Ashleys before me, do you know WHY we’re gracing this already hallowed abode with our most esteemed presence? It is because one of our own, an honorary member but still, lays in her mother’s bed most unwell and owie. Owchie, even!’

Ashley Q and Ashley T both shed sympathetic tears, blowing their noses with custom Ashley handkerchiefs (each their own signature color, light blue and light green).

‘Yes, but we mustn’t mourn!’, Ashley B declared authoritatively, fist raised in the air. She tried to sound as in charge as she could, as powerful as she could muster, as Ashley A as she could. ‘Ashley M needs us, as much as we need the Backstreet Boys! Maybe even more!’

‘That’s a lot!’, Ashley T gasped audibly to convince herself that was true, while Ashley Q seemed very alert and alarmed. ‘Even more than Kevin?’

‘Even more than Nick!’, Ashley B insisted, making the others gasp for real at her comparison of Ashley M to the Backstreet Boys. ‘This really is a CATASTROPHE!’, Ashley T accidentally joked, which made Ashley Q giggle just a little. ‘You’re so silly, Ashley T.’, she remarked, and Ashley T swore this was how she was supposed to feel when staring at all those “cute” boy posters.

Ashley B, annoyed at the loss of attention, snapped her fingers to get it back. ‘Focus, people, focus! We need to help that kitty, stat! Do we have everything we need?’

Ashley Q and T lifted a ton of medical toys that their little sisters had, sort of proof that perhaps they weren’t as mature as they thought they were. ‘Yes, ma’am!’

‘Great! Then let’s, like, totally do this thing!’, Ashley B ordered, and with closed proud eyes, she marched in with Q and T, opening the door without even knocking. Inside the famously stylish house, one could only see Mrs. Armbruster, who was wearing quite the fashionable mink fur and smoking from one of those thin opera cigarette holders Cruella De Vil would use. Blowing out a dollar sign smoke ring, she lightly observed the girls entering her house, chuckling a little, and called out to them for a moment. ‘And where are you fancy little angels off to now?’

The other Ashley’s gasped once more, hearts hammering in their chests. To gain the attention of Ashley A the first, even momentarily, was considered an honor as sacred as attending an Ashley Birthday party! Ashley Q and T instantly bowed down, which even Ashley B found a bit much, as she simply curtsied. ‘Mrs. Armbruster, we are simply attending to your daughter’s cat, who is currently under the weather!’

‘Cat… Cat… Right, Ashley has a cat. I suppose once she dies she could make a great purse. Anyway, like, whose initiative was this? My daughter’s not one to ask for help… That would be MOST disappointing.’, Mrs. Armbruster blew another smoke ring as she enunciated her words, the smog billowing towards Ashley B, who coughed and wheezed from it. ‘Oh, no!’, Ashley B was quick to correct, half to save Ashley A’s face (for all their recent problems, she still did care about her), half to earn some face herself. ‘I, like, totally came up with this mission myself, pretty bomb, am I right?’

‘Very bomb.’, Mrs. Armbruster’s smoke covered all but her eyes, which sparkled like rare gems, with a hint of fire behind them. She actually drew close then and cupped Ashley B’s chin, making Q and T shocked (and a tad jealous). ‘Yes… Yes, I see now truly why I knew you’d make a great companion for my little pet. You have the makings of a real O.G all that.’

‘Heh, just… Keepin’ it real, Mrs. Armbruster!’, Ashley B gave a two finger salute and winking. It took all her might not to scream right there and then.

‘Well, off you pop, now!’, Mrs. Armbruster declared, and just before the three girls were out of earshot and up the stairs, she declared (in a voice loud enough for anyone to hear, especially her daughter, if she was there) ‘Ashley A Jr. could benefit from your example. A rising star such as yourself is hard to eclipse.’

Ashley B would have died on the spot right there, but instead, she kept her cool and nodded, before slowly getting out of sight and sound alongside the other Ashleys. Once they were safe to celebrate, they did so enthusiastically. ‘Did you HEAR that?!’, Ashley B cried, fanning her face as tears streaked down. ‘She thinks I’m a rising star! An O.G! All that!’

‘Say psyche right now!’, Ashley Q and T called, still shocked (and happy) about this development. Sure, a part of them was a little envious, but Ashley B’s smile made it worth it.

‘I can’t WAIT to brag to Ashley A about this!’, Ashley B crowed, as they opened the door to her room, expecting a sick Ashley M and a doting Ashley A, probably wearing her own matching nursing outfit.

Instead, they were met with a bored Ashley M, who was reading one of Ashley’s old Tiger Beat issues (a 1996 one all about Brad Pitt, the 4 posters already shared between the 4 Ashleys), snuggling in her custom made kitty bathrobe with A.M inscribed in gold lettering, and letting out sensible chuckles at a rerun of last night’s new Friends episode, “The One with Rachel’s Crush”. And on top of the bed, organizing all the Tiger Beats by alphabetical order (of course) was… “Ashley A” (Menlo in his disguise).

‘Ashley M doesn’t… Look sick.’, Ashley T scratched her head, confused. She and Ashley Q still approached carefully, holding up plastic stethoscopes. ‘I don’t want to interrupt her during educational television, so let’s wait until there’s a Rachel scene, she won’t miss anything.’, Q proposed, T nodding in agreement.

Ashley B (rolling her eyes at the Rachel hate), soon turned her attention to “Ashley A”, finding all this rather… Odd. ‘Ashley A? You look… Different.’

“Ashley A”, panicking at the sudden intrusion he didn’t hear (he often got lost in his work), coughed awkwardly and squeaked in an absolutely terrible impression. Without the hazmat suit she had to wear when “Ashley A” had cooties, Ashley B could suddenly hear that there was something very off with Ashley’s voice. How had she not heard it until now? ‘You sound different too…’, Ashley B trailed off, mind working overtime. Something fishy was going on here.

“Ashley A” knew he had to do something, so trying his best, he hurriedly made up an excuse. ‘Oh, like, um, what is this, “Little Red Riding Hood”? I’m totally, like, confused! Ugh!’, he blurted out, hoping that would stave off the trouble.

It seemed to work a little. Ashley B may not have recognized the voice, but the mannerisms were on point. ‘Huh… Maybe I need my ears checked.’, Ashley B commented, still unsure, but putting it down to being hungry. She hadn’t had a treat for a whole hour! Speaking of… ‘Ashley T, fetch us all some snacks, chop chop!’, she clapped her hands, and Ashley T rushed downstairs. Ashley Q, raising an eyebrow while scratching Ashley M’s belly, questioned this. ‘Shouldn’t we be all hands on deck for this?’

‘Ashley Q, puh-lease, is this not what Ashley A would do? It’s simply common Ashley procedure!’, Ashley B fanned herself with her clipboard, hiding the fact that bossing around for a change was thrilling her. Is that what ordering people around felt like? And right next to the supposed president?

‘Well, shouldn’t Ashley A have done that? She’s right here.’, Ashley Q reminded her, making Ashley B frown in frustration. Why was it so hard to just let her enjoy the acting president role, even for a minute? ‘May I remind you Ashley A hasn’t acted very Ashley like for a while? I know we reinstated her, but I’m just saying, maybe I could serve as a reminder to her of how an Ashley president acts!’, Ashley B argued, making Ashley Q eye her suspiciously. ‘I thought we put that behind us.’

‘I agree! Ashley A hasn’t done anything wrong! That is, I haven’t done anything wrong! Heh heh.’, “Ashley A” agreed with Q, but it was this agreement that got both present Ashleys to stare at her with lingering doubts. A quick whispering session occurred. ‘Like, is it just me, or like, was that not at all like Ashley post the Purple Day Fiasco?’, Ashley B voiced, and Ashley Q had to agree. ‘Most unlike her!’

The two, now certain something was up, nodded at each other and signaled the approaching Ashley T of a “Potential Whack Stowaway” (A Code Orange for the Ashley’s, conveyed with a click of shoes and two twists of a nose). Understanding the gravity of the situation, Ashley T took up her position as “distracted with Ashley M” (alongside Ashley Q), while Ashley B, quick on her feet, improvised a perfect authentication question. ‘Pretty presidential of me, if I do say so myself.’, Ashley B smirked as she laid down on the bed and draped a sinister arm around “Ashley A’s” shoulder, making the latter gulp. ‘Now, “Ashley A”, tell me… How exactly is Ashley M over here sick?’

“Ashley A” didn’t flinch. The real Ashley A had prepared him for this eventuality, and he grinned sassily, stating ‘She’d accidentally overheard some ancient country music only our daddy's like.’

This was no lie, to be fair. Ashley A had told Menlo to play some when he arrived, and Menlo had delivered a thousand apologies from her to Ashley M, who understood, albeit after quite the hissy fit.

Ashley B was undeterred, however. In fact, she barely seemed phased, as she moved onto the next question. ‘Well… What about that Rachel, huh? She’s really taking over the show, huh?’, Ashley B “complained”, winking at Ashley Q and T, who giggled, knowing full well how A and B always insisted Rachel was the best character during “Friends” arguments.

“Ashley A” was ahead of the game once again, though, simply voicing ‘Don’t be silly, Ashley B, we all know Rachel carries the show, and anyone who doesn’t think so can talk to the hand!’

“Ashley A” was so proud of herself, that she nearly high fived herself. ‘Who’s a bad Ashley A now, huh?’, he thought, sniffing importantly. ‘She’s sure to marry me now! Oh, we’ll find the nicest IRS bureau in town, and we’ll use rulers to measure our vows, and…’

But Ashley B really was a force of nature right now. Paired up with the confidence she gained from Mrs. Armbruster’s compliments, and her growing rage at her best friend potentially stabbing her in the back again, Ashley B noticed which scene was playing right now…

Rachel: Hi!

Joey and Phoebe: Hey!

Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. It’s just so frustrating!

Phoebe: Why don’t you ask him out?

Joey: Oh, Yeah, Totally! That’s such a turn-on!

Rachel: Really? It doesn’t seem desperate?

Joey: Oh-ooh, that’s the turn-on.

Phoebe: He just got a divorce, right?

Rachel: Mmm-Hmm.

Phoebe: So, he’s probably really nervous around women, y’know? Maybe… You just have to make the first move.

Rachel: Yeah, but I’ve never asked a guy out before.

Phoebe: You’ve never asked a guy out?!?!

Rachel: No, have you?

Phoebe: Thousands of times!!! …That doesn’t make me sound too good, does it?

Rachel: I don’t even know how I would go about it.

Joey: Oh, oh, oh, oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say… “How you doin’?”

Phoebe: Oh, please!

Joey: Hey… How you doin’?

Phoebe (looks at him and giggles, charmed)

Ashley B, smiling a crocodile smile, suddenly squeezed “Ashley A’s” hand, and absent mindedly stated ‘Isn’t that catchphrase SOOOOOOOOO funny? Isn’t it like, totally the most bomb catchphrase ever?’

Ashley Q and Ashley T, understanding the trap, silently giggled as they waited for it to snap.

“Ashley A”, unaware of its nature, finally fumbled the ball at the 5 yard line. ‘Oh, um, yeah! Like, totally the most bomb!’

‘A HA!!!’, Ashley B cried, grabbing the wig and throwing it out, revealing none other than Menlo. ‘H…How did you know? I know everything about Ashley A!’, Menlo cried, while Ashley Q and T proceeded to boo and jeer, disgusted at this intrusion. ‘Shall we stone him, Ashley B?’, Ashley Q asked, her and T lifting up their converses.

‘No, no, that would be a waste of a good mirror. It’s okay, I’ll handle this.’, Ashley B waved them off, power flowing through her veins. They listened to her. She was in charge again!

Slowly lifting Menlo up to her, a malicious grin growing on her like a snake stretching across branches, Ashley B explained. ‘Dear, dumb Menlo, who better stop breathing lest I catch his cooties…’

Menlo did as he was told, pathetic as ever.

‘You may know all there is to know about our wayward Ashley… But you don’t know all about “Friends”. That isn’t a catchphrase. Joey’s never said that before, and I doubt he will ever say that again.’

Ashley B’s grip tightened, hurting Menlo’s neck. ‘However, there is something about Ashley A you do know that I would simply ADORE hear, some dirt, gossip, whatever you wanna call it, that I would KILL to know.’

Menlo’s eyes shivered in fright, while Ashley M, scared out of her wits for her mama, raced outside to warn her. ‘W…What?’, he asked, life flashing before his eyes. Mostly, it was just folders, files, and Ashley A’s disgusted looks at him.

Ashley B’s voice was as sweet as honey, but as toxic as a bee sting. ‘Where… Is… Ashley… A?’

Meanwhile, over at the mall, things were only getting worse for our would be friends, as the gang slowly approached it, having spotted Gretchen walking into it, but crucially not Ashley R.

‘The mall. Where financial prudence goes to die.’, T.J remarked, with a strange sort of pride.

‘And friendships, apparently!’, Spinelli declared angrily, rubbing her fist in her palm. Mikey was quick to calm her down with a soft hand on her shoulder. ‘Now, hold on, let’s… Let’s not assume the worst!’

‘Mikey’s right, Spinelli. Gretchen is far too smart and sophisticated for that!’, Vince added, quickly checking himself in the mirror and fixing his hair. ‘I’m sure that if anything, it’s someone taking advantage of her!’

‘Or she got her brain sucked out by an alien!’, Gus declared in fear, shivering and shaking like a leaf. T.J had to hold his shoulders to settle him down. ‘Thanks.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Gus! Gretchen’s brain is far too big for that!’, T.J calmed him down, while Vince nodded enthusiastically. ‘Look, guys, let’s not make a big deal out of this. We’re just… Concerned friends, seeing if Gretchen’s okay. I mean, maybe she just felt like going to the mall on her own! She’s allowed to!’

‘Of course she is, but I still think something’s off.’, Spinelli mumbled, feeling the potential betrayal already lace her heart with shrapnel.

‘Sorry, I think my egg salad sandwich went bad.’, Mikey apologized, throwing it away.

‘Not… Look, I’m speaking metaphorically! Aren’t you all about that poetic stuff?’, Spinelli pointed at Mikey with a huff. Mikey sighed sadly, thinking of his betrayal of Gretchen here. ‘How true, and how broken I am at the thought of spying on our dear friend, Gretchen.’

‘Guys, please…’, T.J again tried to calm the group down, hating how it felt. ‘We are not betraying Gretchen, nor is she betraying us! How many times have we all acted kind of different for a while, only for it to be a good thing, huh?’

T.J pointed at Vince. ‘Vince, remember when you gave up on Kickball? That failure got you to be better than ever!’

‘That’s true, I am pretty wicked at Kickball now. If only Gretchen still cared.’, Vince muttered, but he still accepted T.J’s point.

‘And you, Gus! Remember when you lost your glasses and became “Guy”? Sure, you acted like a real jerk, but it got you to see the real you ain’t half bad!’, T.J. nudged Gus affectionately, and Gus smiled cheerily back. ‘Yeah, that’s true! And the same thing happened when I was King for a while! Huh, talk about a rerun.’

‘And Mikey, didn’t those singing lessons really help your confidence, even if it meant you falling for that teacher for a while?’, T.J. tapped Mikey’s shoulder, while Mikey simply replied ‘For a while?’.

‘I’ll ignore that. And Spinelli, you literally went to ballet class once! Ballet! Not to mention that pageant with Vince! And how did that go, against all odds?’, He smirked that annoyingly lovable smirk that made Spinelli want to punch him or kiss him, and the pintsized powerhouse blushed a deep red. ‘Okay, okay, Teej, we get your point, sheesh.’

‘All I’m saying is that Gretchen would NEVER judge us without at least being sure. And even if something bad was happening, she would be worried, not mad! We owe her that much, don’t we?’, T.J. reminded them all, and everyone, regardless of their feelings, nodded passionately.

‘Exactly! Now, come on, let’s go spy on our friend! …Wow, there’s just no way to say that out loud without feeling awkward.’, T.J. rubbed the back of his neck, as he and his friends walked right inside, prepared to face a potentially terrifying destiny.

‘Oh, and don’t forget the personal 11 minute Journey I went on!’, a voice cried from behind them.

All the gang simply blinked in confusion. ‘And… You are?’, Vince asked, shrugging.

Randall, dressed in an admittedly better disguise this time, but still clearly Randall, smiled from underneath his ginger wig and waved a plastic purse around, the dollar sign tag still attached to it. ‘Mandy! It’s like Randy, but without the R!’

‘You’re gonna be Skilled without the S if you’re not out of here in 3 seconds!’, Spinelli cried, shaking her fist, and Randall bolted off, screaming in fear.

‘Wow, WHAT is his deal?’, T.J. wondered, as the others all shook their heads. ‘Must be a dry snitching season.’, Vince pondered, as the gang finally started making progress in the mall. They all agreed to split up, to cover more ground that way.

They’d find Gretchen, no matter what.

And at the same time, the Ashleys (sans Ashley A) all arrived, Menlo carrying Ashley B on his back, Ashley Q and Ashley T making up the rear and searching near and far. ‘I’m telling you, she’s not here!’, Menlo cried, loyal to the end, but Ashley B shook her head. ‘Obviously she’s here. We were supposed to be here today. She probably wanted to get a head start on the fro yo, the selfish… Oh, when I get my hands on her!’, Ashley B growled, so angry she was turning red and thirsty. ‘Menlo, Diet Coke me.’, Menlo sadly handed her the bottle, which she began drinking from.

‘I can’t believe Ashley A would betray us like that again.’, Ashley T sighed sadly, hugging herself as she and Q passed the Orange Julius, where Ashley A and Gretchen were still at, ordering their drinks, blissfully ignorant of what was behind them. ‘I thought… I thought everything was back to normal…’

‘Now, chin up, T! We don’t know that for sure! You know how B gets, all spazzy and stuff!’, Q tried to cheer her friend up, as she placed a finger underneath her chin. ‘Come on, let me see that pretty and fancy smile!’

Ashley T, as if under a spell, smiled as nicely as she could. From her POV, Ashley Q looked like an angel, dressed in the finest silks and jewels, while also rolling a basketball on her head for some reason. ‘There. Feel better?’

‘Always…’, Ashley T whispered when Ashley Q moved up ahead, totally unaware of her effect on the girl. ‘Gosh, I hope a boy just like her rolls by already. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was some kind of lesbo!’

Well, with all those complications, we should probably head back to our heroes! Let’s see how their experiment is going…

‘Soooo…’, Ashley drawled out, hiding her blatant nerves with a sort of playful cadence that didn’t fit her rapidly blinking eyes. ‘How’s the Cinnamon Sugar Pretzel? And the Orange Julius Original? Are they… Yummy yummy in the tummy? Hmmmm?’

Gretchen rolled her eyes at the customary crappy acting she was now used to from Ashley, as she sipped on her drink. ‘They’re good, Ashley! Why do I have to tell you to calm down? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?’

Ashley sighed, kicking a stray empty box of chicken nuggets and looking around at the mall that normally made her so happy. ‘I guess you put me a little on edge here. I just want you to see how fun my side of the ‘hood can be.’

‘Never say ‘hood again.’, Gretchen half joked, but she felt bad about creating even more tension. ‘I can’t help how I feel, Ashley. Anxiety isn’t something I can just switch off.’

‘I know. I just wish I could switch it off for you. I just know we can pass this experiment!’, Ashley exclaimed, as she swung on one of the poles near the Abercrombie's. Realizing something, Ashley suddenly grinned. ‘...Maybe I can!’, she cried, leaping off the pole and holding her arms aloft, the entire mall’s selection behind her. ‘How about we take a small tour, Ashley A style? That is, Ashley R style!’, she winked from behind her dumb fake glasses, making Gretchen’s dumb heart skip a beat. Blushing, she crossed her arms. ‘I’m not sure we should divert from the plan. In fact, that kinda makes my anxiety worse…’, Gretchen insisted, but Ashley insisted too. ‘Come on, let loose, just a little! You’ll never know if you don’t try! Isn’t that what I did in the museum?’

Gretchen was about to correct Ashley, only for her outstretched finger to begin tapping on her chin. ‘That’s… A good point.’

Ashley drew closer, offering her hand, the one so ridiculously soft and soothing. ‘She must use high quality moisturizer and soap and… Stuff.’, Gretchen gulped, hesitantly taking it. ‘The Schway express is off, choo choo!’, Ashley cried, and so, they were off, Gretchen still a little scared, Ashley grinning with belief, even with an old song playing from the PA that she normally would have considered “ancient and boring”.

(Sh-Boom - The Crew Cuts)

“Life Could Be a Dream

Sh-Boom, If I Could Take You To a Paradise Up Above”

First, Ashley took her up in the elevator, excitedly pointing out all her favorite sights, while weirdly catchy elevator music played. Gretchen got a little queasy, but she tried to keep her lunch in.

Rushing through the top floor, Ashley spun Gretchen into Anchor Blue, nabbing her a pair of baggy denim jeans. When Gretchen (who eyed the jeans with a little bit of desire) raised an eyebrow, Ashley flashed her Credit Card, that sparkled with the words “Armbruster Infinite Charge”, and Gretchen actually relaxed a little, admiring the comfort.

“If You Will Tell Me I’m the Only One That You Love

Life Could Be a Dream, Sweetheart, Hello, Hello Again

Sh-Boom and Hopin’ We’ll Meet Again, Boom”

At B.Dalton, among all the cozy book shelves and afternoon fall lighting, Ashley chuckled as she read the opening pages of The Baby-Sitter’s Club #11 (“Kristy and the Snobs”), nudging Gretchen, who smiled while holding a copy of “Pride and Prejudice”. They then exchanged the copies, nodding in interest despite themselves.

Then, at The Body Shop, Ashley applied some body butter onto Gretchen’s palms, explaining to her how her stress makes her skin rougher. Gretchen admired her skin, pleasantly surprised at how effective the lotion was, as she and Ashley compared their palms by touching them. Gretchen then blushed, as she stared at Ashley, excitedly explaining how it worked, not dissimilar to how she herself would explain a scientific concept.

“Life Could Be a Dream

If Only All my Precious Plans Would Come True

If You Would Let Me Spend my Whole Life Loving You

Life Could Be a Dream, Sweetheart (do-roo-do-do, sh-boom)”

Gretchen wore an uncertain grimace, considering all the things that could go wrong. Ashley, noticing it, quickly spotted a store perhaps more Gretchen’s speed, and took her to The Nature Company, where they admired Amethysts, Tiger Eyes, Telescopes, and other special gemstones. After some help from the store owner, Ashley and Gretchen had matching Rose Quartz pins, one on Ashley’s bow tie and one on Gretchen’s new jeans.

Then, at F.Y.E., the two left the store wearing new T-Shirts (a Biggie shirt for Gretchen and a Simpsons shirt for Ashley A, the two complementing each other’s looks(.

“Everytime I Look At You

Something is on my Mind

If You Do What I Want You To

Baby, We’d Be So Fine”

At this weird new place called “Build-a-Bear”, Gretchen acquiesced to trying something very Ashley: Making a cutesy Teddy Bear. Sure, she had one at home, but it was different to actually make one, and give it all kind of Ashley flourishes (like a hair bow and glitter). Still, she gave it a sporting try, and to show solidarity, Ashley made a very scientific and serious looking bear. The two bears finished, the girls chinked them like wine glasses, giggling at the action.

Then, Ashley stared with admiration and affection at Gretchen as she couldn’t help but tap her feet on the KB Toy store’s floor piano, as The Backstreet Boys song Ashley once sang next to her “Anywhere For You”. Brushing up to her, she danced a little too, and they both smiled, actually feeling calm, as they subtly swayed on the floor piano, every note horribly off key, except for their connection.

“Oh, Life Could Be a Dream

Sh-Boom, If I Could Take You to a Paradise Up Above

Sh-Boom, and Tell Me Darling, I’m the Only One That You Love

Life Could Be a Dream, Sweetheart, Hello, Hello Again

Sh-Boom, and Hopin’ We’ll Meet Again, Boom

Oh, Life Could Be a Dream

Life Could Be a Dream, Sweetheart!”

In quick succession, the girls ogled the display window at Cache’s, imagining dressing so fancy and jokingly pretending to be ridiculously snobbish ladies; Gretchen sat back and let Ashley geek out at the Disney Store, enjoying her hyperfixating; checked out the stuff at Claire’s, with Ashley secretly buying a gift for Gretchen for their sleepover; blushed at the Victoria’s Secret display window, for different (yet also very similar) reasons; and messed around at a photo booth, as any two friends would. For a moment, who could have guessed they were forbidden?

The first photo was very serious and dry, as if they were from the Victorian Era; Then, they took a silly photo, Ashley sticking her tongue out, Gretchen making monkey noises; Then, Ashley made a kissy face at the camera, stifling a laugh as Gretchen flipped it off for jokes; and finally, they took a genuine photo, heads leaning as they smiled.

And one didn’t have to ask to see Gretchen was feeling a lot calmer.

So much so, that when Ashley saw how late it was and explained they had to go to the spa immediately, she found herself strolling down the mall towards it… Happily.

‘Ashley Armbruster, you really are a scientific anomaly.’, Gretchen observed, barely holding back a lovesick grin, as they entered the place, unaware of the impending arrival of the Gang and the Ashley’s…

About 15 minutes later, give or take, I’m not some all seeing god…

Wait…

Regardless, about 15 minutes later, two very different gangs with very similar motivations began approaching the last area they hadn’t checked.

‘I don’t get it! Every place I checked told me there was some girl matching Gretchen’s description who had just left, but I was never there on time to actually see her!’, Vince ranted, arms outstretched in disbelief. ‘I’ve struck out more than a paraplegic blind batter playing blackjack!’

‘Well, maybe if you hadn’t taken so long to describe her each time…’, Spinelli grumbled, making Vince blush and huff. ‘I was BEING professional, Spinneli! Unlike you, grabbing people with glasses and interrogating them!’

‘Guys, guys, let’s not go there! She’s gotta be somewhere, and there’s only one place we haven’t checked!’, T.J reminded them, pointing above to…

‘The Spa?’, they all tilted their heads in question, before staring at each other in confusion. ‘Gretchen doesn’t seem like the kind of girl to do that. That’s more of a…’, Vince started, only for him to be interrupted by the other approaching group.

‘Of an Ashley A thing to do, yes! It all makes literally SOOOO much sense now! Ditching us so she can hog the sauna room all for herself! I’d be proud if I wasn’t so frikin’ MAD!’, Ashley B declared, motioning for Menlo to drop her down. ‘Go, boy, buy yourself something nice.’, she flipped a chocolate coin onto his palm, as he frowned in frustration. ‘My queen isn’t there! Let lightning strike me down if I lie!’

Thunder clouds gathered above the mall’s roof. Everyone shakily stepped away from Menlo just in case.

‘Ashleys! See, I told you something smells funny!’, Spinelli wagged a finger in the air, eager to mess up those girls' makeup.

Mikey rubbed his chin in thought as he lifted a bowl with a clown fish in it. ‘I don’t know, he doesn’t seem to smell like anything.’

‘MIKEY, I SWEAR TO GOD…’

Ashley B lifted her palm, as if that was supposed to silence them all, then proceeded to talk even though they didn’t follow suit. ‘Step aside, Freaky Five! This 11 is passing judgment on a former 10!’

‘Math now too? Is there ANYTHING you won’t ruin?!’, Spinneli cried, shaking her fist as Ashley B, who smugly smirked at the display. ‘Um, Spinneli? You hate math.’, Gus reminded, shivering between their two faces. ‘It’s the principal, Gus.’ ‘Where?!’, Gus cried, ducking, while T.J. sighed, having to step in between again. ‘Look, Ashley B, you don’t own the spa. We just want to find our friend Gretchen and see if everything’s okay with her, you want to find Ashley A and, I guess, beat the whomps out of her, not our problem. I’m sure we can all just stay out of each other’s ways.’

Ashley B considered it, before nodding slowly. ‘I suppose I can relent. But I warn you, Detweiller: If your geekasaurus has turned a hair on Ashley A’s head wack, the prank ceasefire is off!’

‘And the same the other way, Boulet!’, Spinneli threatened in return, and an uneasy deal was set in place.

‘Ashley Q, Ashley T, let’s head inside, chop chop!’, Ashley B clapped for her assistants, eyes closed, only to open them and meet with no one. ‘Um, like, where ARE you?’, she cried, impatient, tapping her foot and looking around.

Ashley Q sighed, staring longingly at the TV screens, showing a rerun of a game from earlier that day, Minnesota Timberwolves at LA Lakers (114-121). On another screen was Golden State at Chicago with Michael Jordan (80-87) and Philadelphia 76ers at Atlanta Hawks (99-109). Her eyes seemed to glitter like they were supposed to from more… Acceptably Ashley fare. But she just couldn’t help it. The squeaking of the shoes on the floor… The speed and artistry, like a dance conducted with a full painter’s palette, a dance of motion and form she knew she could perform if just given the chance… The buzzer, the chants, the commentary, the thrill, the rush, of something secret and wrong that felt so so right. It scratched an itch in her brain… No, it was more like a sugar rush, like one of those jumping candy chocolates, that sparkled and popped and flew in your mouth, until all you could feel was the wind in your hair and the air between you and the basket. It must have felt like heaven to fly, even if only for just a moment.

‘They really should bring Micheal Williams on, Minnesota. He’s still got the most consecutive free throws made record, 97, from between March 24th, 1993 to November 9th, 1993. But Flip Saunders, girlfriend, I swear, it’s like he and Crunch the Wolf switch brains sometimes. How are they EVER gonna win a title? Though they’re definitely better than our 76ers. I swear, I could replace those morons. I’d be just like Lola Bunny. I’ve already got the looks, after all.’, Ashley Q ranted quietly, whipping her hair and allowing herself, just once, to express this secret desire. After all, no one was…

‘You definitely have the looks.’

Ashley Q’s eyes widened, and she swiveled her head to meet Ashley T, whose palm was glued to a comic book shop window, specifically at Robin #51 (Vol.2) which showed the Tim Drake version of the character with temporary super speed. Ashley Q would have understood (if, albeit, with quite the outraged stare) if Ashley T was referring to the junk literature before her.

But she was staring right at her fellow Ashley.

Ashley T blushed and shut her mouth, while Ashley Q blinked in surprise and felt her heart hammer. Then the two realized the other could see what they were staring at.

‘...All that stuff I said? Was, um, an impression, yes, an impression of a lame loser basketball fan! I am… I am definitely not one! It’s just a phase!’, Ashley Q lied badly, hating how forced it all sounded. Why couldn’t it come easier to her? Why couldn’t this dumb basketball illness pass?

‘And all the stuff I said about that yucky comic book and also you totally don’t mean anything, I was making fun of my little brother, who… Has a big crush on you, yes. I don’t… I… I am sure it’s just a phase too…’, Ashley T whispered, but Ashley Q simply shrugged. ‘You said stuff?’

Ashley T didn’t know rather she was grateful to be ignored again, or kinda miffed about it, but she chose the former option. ‘No, I… I didn’t say anything at all. Like, totally, yeah.’

‘Totally, like, yeah.’, Ashley Q nodded, and they ran off to join Ashley B, their hearts just a little heavier from their denial…

Meanwhile, inside the spa’s massage room…

(“Together Again” - Janet Jackson)

For once, there was nothing but darkness and a seering white light on the frayed edges of sight. For once, there was freedom where there used to be tension. For once, Gretchen truly opened herself to the stressful concept of “Was she more similar to an Ashley than she thought?”, and shockingly, incredibly…

She didn’t mind the positive answer.

‘Ooh… Oh… I didn’t even know a shoulder could feel that good.’, Gretchen sort of exhaled, as her masseuse’s strong arms kneaded her joints into relaxation. It wouldn’t truly solve her tight shoulder problem medically, but still, it felt nice to have a short reprieve. Ashley, eyes closed too, as she got light chops on her back, grinned at the sound of that. ‘So, like, are you, like, liking it?’

‘Enough not to point out how you murdered grammar with that sentence.’, Gretchen smirked, and Ashley didn’t need to see it to feel it, even if technically Gretchen still critiqued her. Wrapped in tights (that were thankfully available to rent due to Ashley’s frequent customer status), Gretchen searched for the pain she was supposed to feel, and found none, allowing her to operate better. It was like all her senses were at fuller capacity. ‘Even that song doesn’t sound as bad as the first time you played it.’

Ashley had to hold back a cheer. ‘Janet Jackson would probably be a little insulted that that took a massage though.’

‘Eh, she should just come here and relax too.’, Gretchen quipped, and the two girls laughed, as they entered the last phases of this stage, both sat next to each other as they got final shoulder rubs. ‘So, what do we have after this? My anticipation is at a startling boiling point.’, Gretchen admitted, while Ashley (not even needing to look) recited from memory her usual routine. ‘Well, next we have the Rhassoul mud chamber, which I know sounds gross and icky but…’

‘Ashley, I may not be a cosmetics expert, but I know about healing mud.’, Gretchen rolled her eyes fondly, and Ashley chuckled. ‘Can you blame me? It DOES sound WACK.’

‘You should destress like I have. You were SO right. What was I all so worried about? Ooh, a mall and spa day with my buddy Ashley R! Quick, alert the national guard!’, Gretchen joked, making siren noises with her mouth, before suddenly leaning over to Ashley, almost melting on her. ‘I couldn’t do this with my other friends. Eye opening experiences are worth a lot of points in the Friendship Experiment.’

Ashley could barely suppress her excitement, shaking giddily, which annoyed her masseuse. Her fists pumped up and down as she voiced hopefully ‘So does that mean we’re currently passing?’

‘Passing, winning, soaring, boring, snoring, roaring, lion, lion-o, DAY-OOOOO, DAY-OOOOOOO, DAYLIGHT COME AND WE WANT GO HOMEEEEE!’, Gretchen suddenly slurred, waving her arms all about and sounding kind of, frankly, insane. Ashley, getting a little worried, waved her arm across Gretchen. ‘Gretch? Earth to Gretch? Like, are you literally okay?’

‘Hardly, uncool but still blood relative of Ashley A.’, Gretchen’s masseuse informed, eyeing her customer worriedly while flashing a light in her eyes. ‘I’ve never dealt with a body THIS tense. I doubt she’s ever felt THIS relaxed. She might be TOO loose.’

Ashley shrugged, confused at this admittedly vague explanation. ‘In Ashley?’

‘She’s, like, totally drunk on bein’ chill, yo.’, Ashley’s big tough Swedish masseuse translated, making Ashley nod like a scholar having just cracked the Da Vinchi code. ‘That sounds… Bad.’

‘Oh, don’t worry! As long as you don’t have to hide some complicated and convoluted lie from your closest friends, it won’t matter at all!’, the first masseuse replied, making them stand up. ‘Now, come on, join the mud chamber! Your cousin's other friends are already there!’

Ashley A really could have used that mud mask, since she just turned as white as a sheet. Her knees began shaking like jell-o and her teeth chattered like a corny Halloween decoration from Prickly’s last school bash. If it weren’t for her massage, she would have crumpled like a fallen curtain. Instead, she was light as a feather while she leaned on Gretchen for moral support. ‘God, like, why are you such a cruster to me? If this is because I sneak 17 magazines into Sunday church, I’ll stop, just Cut. It. Out.’

‘What’s up, dawg?’, Gretchen suddenly asked, making Ashley gape. Gretchen only used slang if she was trying to make fun of someone (usually Ashley) or make a very specific point about their friendship. What was this relaxation doing to her? ‘You seem to be hella trippin’. We just illin’ out at this joint, homie. Take a chill pill like me and go with the flow, honey.’

Ashley felt like dying, and not just because Gretchen had used honey (‘I know I’m pretty but there’s no reason to emphasize it, Gretch! We can practice “how to flirt with boys” later!’), but also because she could see the other Ashley’s, and her face was now too red to blend into the white room. Plus, she didn’t have her glasses on, because she was about to cover her face in mud, duh. ‘OMG, OMG, what do I do, what do I do?!’, Ashley panic gasped, as she and Gretchen got seated and had mud masks applied, right next to the other Ashley’s.

Ashley B, still unable to see properly thanks to her mask, voiced to Ashley Q and T ‘Girls, are you, like, sure you haven’t even heard a whisper of Ashley A’s treacherous voice?’

‘Not so far, no.’, Ashley Q informed, enjoying the heating chamber. She could pretend as if she was enjoying post game recovery for a basketball team, not that she’d tell anyone that. ‘But I thought I heard something. Someone said “We just illin’ out at this joint, homie”, which was weird, because nobody else talks like us except for…’

Ashley A felt her heart jump into her throat, as she gasped a little too hard and began choking on the steam from the heating chamber. She had to do something, and fast, or the Friendship Experiment she and Gretchen were acing was gonna go from Hero to Zero!

‘Who’s that? I thought we were the only customers here! What do they think “Private Session” means?!’, Ashley B ranted, while Ashley Q and T exchanged alert glances. ‘You don’t think it’s Ashley A, right?’, Ashley T ventured, and Ashley B suddenly snapped into business, smirking like a tiger before dinnertime. ‘Oh, well, that changes things, doesn’t it? Ashley A, is that you coughing like the sneaky snake you are?!’.

‘Any ideas, Gretch?’, Ashley tried, but Gretchen was practically knocked out from relaxation, clearly unable to provide any sensible plans. ‘Which means it’s time for a dumb one. Yay. My specialty.’, Ashley A sarcastically groaned as she latched onto the first idea that popped into her mind, hoping it would only illicit two eye rolls from Gretchen later.

Clearing her throat and sitting atop Gretchen’s shoulders (hoping that all the steam and mud would disguise them enough), Ashley performed a pitch perfect impression of… ‘Why, Ashley Boulet, I do, like, believe you are mistaken. I am Ashley A, but not the one you hang with, so to speak, ha ha.’

It was pretty impressive, and Gretchen would have rated it if she wasn’t practically high. Ashley had managed to attune her voice to generate all the dry and dulcet tones of her mother, sounding both sophisticated and calculated, like every word was designed to achieve some sort of goal. Right now, though, Ashley A had one goal: Get the FUCK away from her friends.

For their part, the other Ashley’s instantly tensed up (maybe they needed a massage now too) and practically saluted out of respect and fear. ‘Mrs. Armbruster! What an unexpected honor! Twice in one day!’

Ashley had to suppress a double take. ‘Twice in one day? My mommy’s never spoken to my friends before. Heck, she rarely speaks to me. She’s far too busy. Freaky…’, she mused, feeling just the tiniest ember of envy, but dismissing it. It wasn’t like her mother loved her friends more, that would be ridiculous, and the sort of behavior that truly deserved two Gretchen eye rolls.

Returning to character (and trying not to shake any mud onto Gretchen), Ashley A carried on with the deception of her friends, leaning into the role as far as she could. ‘Uh, yes, yes, twice in one day. Like, um, I’m impressed to see you taking care of your skin in such a whack climate as this. Great minds think alike and junk.’

Ashley B couldn’t believe it. One conversation praising her grace was one thing, but two? She bit on Ashley T’s hand (the latter doing all she could not to yelp), making Ashley A wince a little. ‘Since when was B THAT obsessed with my mommy? You have one yourself!’. Meanwhile, Ashley Q steered them back onto the business side of things. ‘Yeah, um, say, did you, like, see Ashley A around here? Your daughter, that is. We just have this feeling that…’

‘OH, NO, NOT AT ALL!’, Ashley A exclaimed too loudly, before centering herself. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath (“If I can’t see them, they’re technically not there!”), she reiterated ‘Why, if Ashley A were here, I think I would know, no? She’s, um, elsewhere, um, trying to get the special deluxe cat food for her sick little darling Muffin. But there was, um…’, she remembered the food truck she and Gretchen had nearly crashed into, and smirked, snapping her fingers. ‘A freak accident with a bicycle, yes! That’s what’s been holding her up!’, she lied, thinking how her mother probably didn’t know where she was at any situation, let alone now. ‘The sacrifices a working woman makes. An inspiration to us all!’, Ashley A sighed to herself, waiting for her friends to finally buy what she was selling.

‘I mean, like, she can be pretty sneaky…’, Ashley B started, and then, in a flash, Ashley A realized she had an advantage. Ashley B’s strange fixation on praise from her own mother meant that she would hang on her every word, right? Especially negative ones. ‘Um, like, EXCUSE ME? Hello? Are you, like, doubting me word? You think I’m, what, frontin’?’, Ashley A boomed in her most scolding maternal voice, and Ashley B’s big head shrunk to the size of a pitiful raisin. ‘Frontin’? Never! I, I would never… That is, I didn’t mean to imply… It wasn’t an insult…’, Ashley B desperately looked for her friend’s help, but Ashley Q was busy kissing Ashley T’s hand boo boo better, and Ashley T was busy being the gayest girl in the story, which was saying something considering the presence of Ashley A and Gretchen.

Relishing the role a little too much perhaps (Ashley B HAD caused her a world of grief lately), Ashley A leaned into theatrics and let out a laugh that would make Ursula proud. ‘You know what I think? I think that good little Ashley’s are to be seen flaunting fabulous fashion, not heard spouting the shit, except I mean that in the bad way and not the good way, ugh!’

Ashley B was practically quaking by now, her eyes flashing with visions of her social standing plummeting down from a healthy third place (behind the two Ashley A’s) to a pathetic 420th (just about ahead of Randal). ‘Wait, wait, I…’

‘And just when you think that the dissing is over, you dare suspect my daughter of being a lying loser? LAME. Talk to the hand, Ashley B, because this O.G is fiendin’ to outtie.’, Ashley A boomed, barely able to hold her grin back. ‘Won’t Gretchen be proud of how I sold this!’, she thought, getting a little too excited at the image of a proud and impressed Gretchen.

By this point, Ashley B was so scared that her social life was dead, that she was on her knees, mud splattering a little on her tights. ‘Don’t bounce, Mrs. Armbruster! I swear I meant no harm! If you really think Ashley A ain’t here, then she ain’t here, right, girls?’, she asked, desperate for their co-operation.

‘But didn’t you say…’, Ashley Q started, while Ashley T was just nodding, afraid of another bite, but Ashley B fired her a death stare and Q decided to just comply. ‘That is, um, yeah! Probably just these spa fumes making us woozy! Oh boy! They make you say all kinds of weird things!’

Suddenly, “Truly, Madly, Deeply” by Savage Garden started playing, and Gretchen chose the worst time to talk. ‘Oh, snap, this song is da bomb, dawg! I don’t know why I didn’t care for it when you first played it!’.

Then, as if Gretchen wanted to add a heart attack to the list of ailments Ashley A was currently undergoing, the genius girl began to sing loudly (and quite off key) “I’ll Be Your Dream, I’ll Be Your Wish, I’ll Be Your Fantasy! I’ll Be Your Hope, I’ll Be Your Love, Be Everything That You Need! I Love You More With Every Breath Truly, Madly, Deeply Do…”.

Ashley A, panicking, went for the hail Mary so she and Gretchen could make a run for it to the Jacuzzi. ‘OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, MY, UM, HUSBAND, YES, HUSBAND, IS CALLING ME FROM THE PHONE THAT I DEFINITELY HAVE HIDDEN HERE AND IS SINGING TO ME AGAIN! YOU KNOW HUSBANDS, WITH THEIR FAMOUSLY… HIGH PITCHED 9 YEAR OLD GIRL VOICES! LIKE, TOTALLY RELATABLE, MAD TRUE, HELLA NOT A LIE, WELL I GOTTA BANANA SPLIT OUTTA HERE AND DO SOME WORK AT MY OFFICE PLACE WHERE I DO THE WORK, YOU KNOW, THE WORK OFFICE PLACE, FAMOUS STORE NAME, WHO DOESN’T GO THERE, NO ONE, BECAUSE THEN THEY WOULD BE SQUARE, LIKE A HOUSE, A HOUSE I SHOULD BE HEADED TO, THAT IS WORK, WORK IS ALSO SQUARE, SQUARE IS THE NEW BLACK, YOU KNOW, ANYWAY I SHOULD REALLY LEAVE NOW, BE GOOD, TRUST ASHLEY A, PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MUDDY FACE BELOW ME, BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!’

And with that, Ashley A puppeteered Gretchen out of the room like a rat using a ginger twink to cook soup in a movie that wouldn't be out for another 9 years. As they passed a mirror, Gretchen muttered ‘Schwing!’, at Ashley A’s detoxed skin, but both girls had no time to think about what that specific slang meant about Gretchen’s subconscious.

The three other Ashley’s sat there, gobsmacked, literally gaping, as workers came in to clean the mud off their faces. Clearly, there was only one logical conclusion to all that they witnessed:

‘Wow, Ashley Q is right. These fumes really are making us woozy.’, Ashley B confessed, blinking over and over to make sure she was actually awake. Ashley Q nodded uneasily, while Ashley T simply sighed wistfully. ‘Wow, Mr. Armbruster has a lovely singing voice! It’s so authentic and natural!’

‘It sounded like he was screeching. Like a cat.’, Ashley Q countered.

‘That’s what makes it natural!’, Ashley T argued, as we move on from this predicament, and onto the next, because even at a place DESIGNED for relaxing, our heroes can’t dodge THE PLOT ™.

Now with the Jacuzzi room in sight, Ashley was hoping that she could wake Gretchen up, just in case anything else bad happened. ‘Then again…’, she considered, the lax part of her brain butting in. ‘Who’s to say there’s anything else? Outside of the Ashley’s, who else could possibly give us trouble?’

However, when Ashley glided through the door, her eyes were met with the exact problem she anticipated at first: Gretchen’s friends, The Gang, surrounding the entire area like a low budget cop show that would get canceled after the first episode. ‘Great, Law and Order: Jacuzzi Unit is here!’, Ashley commented in frustration but also alarm, desperate to hide Gretchen from her friends, as she covered her friend’s eyes (I never said she was smart).

Gretchen, however, was still woozy and out of it, and instead of do something nice and constructive like co-operate and hide, she chose to stare down at Ashley with a look most queer. ‘Let me break it down, Ash: You’re hella bangin’, one fine and phat wifey, feel me? Why don’t you and I bounce outtie here and stop pretending we’re not close friends feelin’ things in this spa tonight? Just keepin’ it real, ‘cause you are all that and a bag of chips!’

Now, if Ashley had enough brain cells right now, she would have realized that Gretchen’s subconscious had been accidentally unlocked and the girl was spilling her true feelings both about her and the friendship experiment, and that all this denial and delaying was stunting their relationship, and that they should just take it easy and all that, until they inevitably confront the romantic feelings they were beginning to harbor.

But unfortunately, Ashley was born with a serious case of “Neverenoughbraincells-itis”, so she instead ignored all that romantic slang and instead said ‘Gretchen, this is no time to compliment me! Our covers are about to be blown!’

‘Heh, heh… You have a cute nose. Boop!’, Gretchen booped Ashley’s nose, before pretending she was an airplane. Ashley, massaging her temples, decided she had to come up with a plan on the spot. ‘Okay, Ashley, think, think, how do we get smart Gretchen back? This is literally the hardest thing ever!’

She then pouted and crossed her arms. ‘Dang it, if the real Gretchen was here she’d tell me how it can’t literally be the hardest thing ever because that wouldn’t be objective or some crap.’

That’s when the idea hit her. Finger up in the air, she cried ‘Eureka!’, and grabbed Gretchen before she could finish her scheduled flight to Acapulco. ‘Gretch, Gretch! Check this out, I can recite all the plants in order!’

Ashley smugly grinned as she realized Gretchen’s reaction to this could be pretty funny. ‘I’m allowed a little fun on the job.’, she thought, before reciting right into her friend’s glazed over eyes. ‘Saturn, Mars, Neptune, Venus, Pluto, Mercury, Jupiter, Earth, Uranus!’

Like a magic spell, Gretchen shook her head, the wooziness and relaxation gone, and with slightly hunched shoulders and a pained expression of pure cringe, she sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose, and corrected. ‘Ashley, are you serious? It’s Mer…’

‘Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.’, Ashley finished for her with a satisfied grin. ‘I do listen, you know.’

‘Wait, so why…’, Gretchen started, only to get a relieved hug from Ashley. ‘Welcome back, Gretchy! You were kinda… Well, fucking insane back there!’, she exclaimed happily, nuzzling into her friend’s cheeks.

‘Must have been the fumes, and a reaction to being super relaxed. But at least I’m back to normal. Did I say anything weird when I was, quote, “fucking insane”?’, Gretchen asked, curious as to the effects, a scientist as ever.

Ashley suddenly blushed, remembering how odd the terms were. It probably meant nothing, but a part of her didn’t want to think about it again, lest she get all confused. ‘Um, we can go over that later, what matters is that your friends are here! We could be exposed!’

‘Oh, no! This is EXACTLY what I was fearing!’, Gretchen began to shake and shiver, stress rushing back like a river during low tide. Ashley, deducing rightly that a stressed Gretchen won’t solve things, shook her head. ‘No, no, Gretchen! We need you to be calm, not coco for Coco Puffs!’

‘You think I wouldn’t love to just do that in a snap?’, Gretchen illustrated with a finger snap. ‘It’s easy for you to say, but I’m not like you!’, she declared perhaps a little too loudly, exasperated with the situation more than Ashley.

Ashley bit her lip, looking guilty at the floor, hands clasped behind her back. She was clearly upset about insulting Gretchen. ‘S…Sorry. I didn’t mean to make little of it, it’s just… We need to stay hidden.’

‘I know, I know…’, Gretchen slowly calmed down as she said these words, and she exercised some breathing techniques, grasping for something to center her. Feeling Ashley’s hand, she clasped it and focused on the moment. She was here, she was in trouble, and she had to get out of it, and she could get through it because she was smart enough to do so. Later, she could worry about the potential consequences. Later. ‘Right now… Please… Let me just get this hurdle done. Please.’, Gretchen whispered, and her stress melted ever so slightly. Not totally, but enough to see and hear clearly.

Releasing her panic (but not Ashley’s hand), Gretchen stared at her partner in crime and nodded. ‘Okay, I’m ready. Describe the situation. Leave no detail behind.’

‘Well, just before I had to distract the Ashley’s by pretending to be my mom and telling them I wasn’t here, and now all your friends are searching the Jacuzzi room we’re in the corner of.’, Ashley quickly explained, worried about being overheard. Gretchen leaned in to whisper, the girls so close to each other they could feel each other’s breathing. ‘Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do: You’re gonna keep watch for the Ashley’s and distract them as Ashley R if needed. But I am going to also be Ashley R.’

‘Wait, why? Wouldn’t it be easier if I…’, Ashley started, but Gretchen shushed her, eyes darting everywhere. ‘I need to do this myself, okay? Just trust me. Let’s exchange glasses.’

‘Won’t that make you squint?’, Ashley pointed out, confused, but Gretchen nodded as she took her glasses off. ‘Exactly. Every change to my look in this steamy place will add to the illusion. Here, fix my hair to look more Ashley esque.’

‘I mean, I only have my hands here, it’s not gonna be perfect.’, Ashley reminded as she began doing just so.

‘It doesn’t need to be perfect. Their eyes will form the rest from the squinting. Now, go and scout them out. I need to lie to my friends.’, Gretchen expressed, trying to remove the sting by just saying it, but it didn’t help much. As Ashley saluted and ran off to look out for the other Ashleys, Gretchen, now looking like Ashley R, hoped that her impression would work as she marched towards the jacuzzi (which would also help disguise her).

Slowly settling into the jet streams (which began relaxing her muscles, which worried her, since Ashley R couldn’t sound too much like Ashley A), Gretchen decided to rip the bandaid off and just call out for her friends. ‘Hey, um, who’s there? Am I interrupting something?’, she declared in an uncannily perfect impression. The implications did not occur to Gretchen.

The Gang, all hearing the mostly unfamiliar voice, turned around towards the source, the jacuzzi. ‘H-Hello? A-Anyone in there?’, Gus stuttered, unsettled by the sudden presence in the room. ‘Shh! No one can know we snuck in, guys!’, T.J. shushed them, and bravely ventured towards the voice. ‘Depends. Who are you?’

‘I’m just a customer, if you’re worried about that. I won’t tell. That’s an… An Ashley R guarantee!’, Gretchen vowed, crossing her heart, which made her feel grosser. ‘This must have been what Pinocchio felt.’, she wondered, hating how often she was now lying to her friends.

The reveal startled the gang. ‘Ashley R? Aren’t you that fake Ashley that Gretchen likes?’, Spinelli exclaimed, worrying Gretchen. Everyone knew of Spinelli’s violent resentment of The Ashleys. ‘Um, yes, that’s me, ha ha. Average old Ashley R.’, Gretchen doubled down, hoping she wouldn’t need to explain to a doctor she was bitten by a 9 year old, not a dog.

Instead, Spinelli laughed affectionately and reached out to shake her hand, which Gretchen just about managed to find. ‘Us Fake Ashley’s gotta stick together! You palling up with Gretchen must really get their designer jeans in a twist! I respect that!’, she said in a revered voice only reserved for her bestest friends. ‘Then again, I am one already.’, Gretchen mused, as the others all sat down around her, feeling safe now. ‘Plus, anyone who likes Gretchen is good in our book! Except for that slime, Jeffery.’, Vince grumbled, clenching his fist. ‘What a creep. She deserves much better.’

‘Heh, heh, yeah…’, Gretchen trailed off, trying her best not to think of the important other reason she had left out as to why she hated Jeffery’s approaches.

‘Anyway, speaking of Gretchen, that’s why we’re here. We’ve been trying to find her.’, T.J. explained, sounding a little guilty, which alarmed Gretchen. Hiding that in a veneer of curiosity, she mumbled ‘Oh? How come?’.

‘Well, she’s been really distracted. No one really liked the idea of tracking her down, but we couldn’t help but wonder if something was wrong, you know?’, Gus explained, even though all of them were feeling guilty about it when voicing it like that.

‘Not me. When Gretchen’s ready to tell us, she can. I say we wait it out, like good friends!’, Mikey insisted, crossing his arms and protesting over on the other side. Gretchen couldn’t help but appreciate it. ‘Good ol’ Mikey.’

Gretchen didn’t want to hurt her friends. She knew that deep down they were worried for good reason, and that they really didn’t mean any harm. But she also knew they wouldn’t understand why she and Ashley A needed to try and be friends. There was no choice. She had to lie to them, and try and get them off the scent, even if that meant a little guilt tripping.

Still, it broke Gretchen’s heart to twist a metaphorical knife into their chests. ‘Well, as someone whose been… Befriending Gretchen as of late, I… I personally think she’s okay. She’s, um, she’s always thinking about you guys, and she still really loves hanging out. She’s just, well… Making a new friend as well. Me.’

Well, that part wasn’t a lie.

‘And, well, I personally think she’d be a little… Hurt if she knew her friends couldn’t just trust her when she felt like doing something else.’

That part was a lie, one she barely managed to choke out. While obviously she didn’t think it was totally fair that she couldn’t just be friends with Ashley A, she couldn’t blame her old friends at all. The Ashleys had done many, many terrible things to them, especially Spinelli and Gus. She herself had promised an explanation, gave a very half baked one, then kept on disappearing. Obviously she was allowed to, but she would have expected some sort of answer too. Plus, they weren’t envious, like The Ashleys. They were worried.

‘Maybe… Maybe I can call the whole thing off… Maybe I can just tell them now, get through the fallout, and stop all this hiding.’, Gretchen thought, feeling the stress waves hit her. Maybe that’s how she could calm down.

Yet, when she suddenly caught sight of Ashley A, waving to her that the other Ashley’s weren’t arriving, when she caught sight of her face, the total opposite of the hard and rigid girl who had been a terror to her friends, a girl who instantly made her feel calmer no matter the situation…

She knew that no god or physical force in the universe could truly get her to give up now.

‘Just saying. I’m not trying to cause any trouble between you guys.’, Gretchen finished, unable to stare them in the face.

‘She’s got a point… Maybe we should just ask her? Or at least wait and see if this is just a short term thing?’, T.J. pitched, and while Spinelli was still a little unsure, the gang all nodded at this. After all, they truly didn’t want to hurt her feelings. ‘Finally, some common sense!’, Mikey cheered, and like that, they just left, bidding “Ashley R” farewell.

As Gretchen sighed in relief, Ashley A made her way towards her and sunk into the jacuzzi, sighing in relief. ‘Ooh, that’s good! So, I see that you got through to them?’

‘Yeah…’, Gretchen muttered sadly, making circles in the pool. Ashley, noticing her sad face (and needing her fake glasses back) swam over to her and they exchanged spectacles. Then, Ashley placed her hand on Gretchen’s. ‘Hey… You okay, Gretchy?’

Gretchen closed her eyes, and the alarm bells rang and rang. ‘No.’

‘...If you want to call it off, I… I understand.’, Ashley lied, preferring to suffer than to see Gretchen suffer. She hugged herself, feeling colder than she was supposed to.

Gretchen shook her head despite the pains she felt from her tension. ‘No, I… No, that’s not what I want. I just… I also want to be able to tell my friends. To not hide all of this. To be sure of us. I just… I just wish it wasn’t so hard.’

Ashley sympathetically nodded, clasping the hand harder. ‘I know how you feel.’

The two floated in silence, the jet streams doing their best to soothe them, but not succeeding.

Finally, after a long time, Gretchen roused her courage to speak. ‘Look, can we… Can we be more careful, please? I don’t want to lie to my friends again. I don’t want to look behind my back all the time when we do this. I want to be able to have fun with you without feeling like a criminal.’

‘We were careful, no?’, Ashley countered, but Gretchen shook her head. ‘We had to pretend to be other people, Ashley. We have to do better.’

Blinking away tears and feeling her heartbeat in her throat, she turned to Ashley with a pleading tone. ‘Please… I don’t want to live in fear with you.’

Ashley understood how serious this was, and she offered her pinkie. ‘More careful. Promise. Pinkie promise.’

Gretchen knew by now Ashley’s pinkie promises meant something, and so, they locked pinkies and nodded, another vow made between them.

And for a few glorious minutes, the alarm bells rang less, and the shadows felt smaller. Letting out a deep breath, Gretchen couldn’t help but smile as she admitted ‘This was… Nice.’

‘Yeah, the jacuzzi is great…’

‘No, I mean, all of it. Even before the spa.’

Ashley looked at Gretchen.

Gretchen looked at Ashley.

Ashley smiled. ‘It was, wasn’t it?’

Gretchen smiled. ‘Like, totally.’

And the soft laugh they shared could only be heard by them and their hearts beating in synchronization.

Outside, meanwhile, while The Ashley’s all left the mall in haste and fear (though Ashley B still felt a suspicion in the back of her mind), The Gang were leaving the mall in a mixed mood: All a little guilty over Gretchen, and all really annoyed by Randal’s latest lame disguise. ‘Nice try, shrimp, but you’re wearing the same clothes!’, Spinelli aimed her fist at him, and he just ran back into the mall, shouting in fear. ‘That oughta do it.’, Vince mused, as T.J. shook his head. ‘Weird, weird kid.’

‘Weird’s an understatement, Detweiler. I’d also use bizarre, offbeat, quirky, outlandish, eccentric, unconventional, unorthodox, idiosyncratic, and my personal favorite, outré. That’s French for startling!’

The gang all turned around, startled by the voice behind them. It was upbeat and almost New Yorkie, as if she belonged to a 1940’s screwball comedy. Holding in one hand a notebook with the Eiffel Tower on it and on one ear a chewed on pencil, there stood a girl about Spinelli’s size, wearing a purple jacket, a black and white striped shirt, golden bracelets, a short blonde bob (akin to Stacey McGill from The Babysitters Club), and green ankle boots. And that was without mentioning her ruby red glasses, black beret, and sky blue scarf.

Sashaying towards the gang, she waved a business card and smirked confidently. ‘Penny. Penny Bly. At your service.’, she bowed, while the gang scratched their heads. ‘Bly… Are you Library Kid’s older sister?’, T.J. ventured, and Penny nodded matter of factly. ‘Books run in the family. She reads them, I write them. Well, actually, I write news articles, but you know. School paper.’

‘We have a school paper?’, Mikey asked in excitement. ‘Why did no one tell me?’

‘New thing. They had to exchange me from across town for it. Budget finally cleared up after Prickly lost his foosball table.’, Penny took out a lollipop and bit onto the stick as if it was a cigarette.

‘Okay, cool, but what’s that got to do with us?’, Vince questioned, eyebrow raised. ‘Yeah, we’re not conducting any interviews!’, Spinelli rejected, also suspicious.

‘Nah, nah, nothin’ like that! I’m just here for my first big story, the one everyone’s wondering about…’, Penny explained, a fire in her eyes glowing with pure excitement and hunger.

‘What’s going on with Gretchen Grundler?’

#ashley a #gretchen grundler #gretchen recess #recess ashley a #scandalous chemistry #disney recess #recess #ashley x gretchen

7 notes · View notes

jazasterr · 9 months ago

Text

Completed the first chapter to my genderfuck hilson fic! It's a super short set up for the rest of the story because even in crackfic I need some kind of logic to base my wacked up science in. The link to ao3 post is below the cut!

Title: What was in the wine in '73?

Rating: M

Category: f/f

Words: 597

Summary: Wilson is staying at House’s place again. After a night of playing cards, watching bad TV and getting wasted, both men wake up the next morning to new weight on their chests and hair in their faces. Will they unearth what the fuck happened? Or will they be too distracted by new developments to care?

Or: House and Wilson drink some badly preserved 1973 red wine. Overnight they’re transformed into their woman equivalents and have to figure out how to adjust to their new bodies, social perception, and sexual confusion.

House flipped over a set of aces once again. On his right, Wilson groaned, “What?! Oh, come on.” He smacked his cards on the coffee table, revealing a 7 of clubs and 9 of hearts. House snickered and reached over to take the $10 pot, placing it in his pile with the others.

“Down on your luck tonight, maybe you should stop while I’m ahead.” He had that expression on his face, the one that he only showed when he was really having his fun. The playfulness in House’s eyes burned into the side of Wilson’s head, and he sighed. Changing the subject (trying to get out of losing all his cash, without admitting to being beat), he said,

“You got anything to drink?” House let him wiggle away. It was no fun teasing Wilson when he had pulled all the ground from under him. House would say it’s because his fuse would get shorter, he’d have less of a chance to poke at him. But really, he enjoyed seeing Wilson win, at least sometimes. It kept his spirits up, with a smile on his face and the banter burning hot.

“Yeah, I’m sure there’s something.” House got up from the couch and searched his kitchen. With Wilson staying with him again, the liquor ran dry fast and every few cupboard’s insides had been tampered with. Eventually, he found a tall bottle of wine lodged right at the back between a few other boxes and decided it was good enough. The branded label was smudged and scratched so badly he couldn’t make out anything on it, the only legible text was on the neck, a date which read ‘bottled 1973’. An aged wine, red. House had no idea why he had it and for apparently long enough for it to decompose on a shelf. He grabbed two glasses and settled back next to Wilson, who looked like he could doze off at any moment now. It wasn’t late by any means, Wilson had done an overnight at the hospital and needed a distraction. One that required all of their favourite activities in one night, ending with a drink it seemed.

“Hey, don’t leave me hanging here, you’ve gotta match me shot for shot!” House poured barely any liquid into each glass, already sensing they wouldn’t have time for much more.

“You brought out wine.” Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. He fought them open with the help of a few tired blinks.

“So you are still conscious.” House handed one of the glasses off and quickly threw back his drink. He was already pouring another when he noticed Wilson eyeing the dark red. “It’s fancy aged wine, so appreciate that I broke it out just for you.” Wilson stayed quiet but sipped his glass. Honestly he couldn’t care less what they drank right now as long as it was inebriating.

***

House was happily surprised when Wilson almost did ‘match him shot for shot’. When they emptied the bottle it actually had become late, a few episodes of housewives later. It was clear Wilson was ready to drop dead, so House took the remnants of their evening to the kitchen, glasses in the sink, bottle in the trash (he had no recycling) and money in his pocket. He returned to the living room only to walk past Wilson, still sat in his spot on the couch, and called out, “I’m heading in, don’t forget to turn out the lights in your drunken stupor!” All he heard in reply was a faint “Uh-huh.”

#house md #hilson #genderbend #fanfic #ao3 #house fanfic #slow writer asf #hoping to update every 2-3 days

10 notes · View notes

kn96artworks · 1 year ago

Text

dream stuff

whenever i hear ppl talking about lucid dreaming i got reminded of my own weird ability(?) to stop when things get too weird

like i can literally feel myself looking around and going "what the fuck is this even" and the dream immediately ends

anyways, things i've seen/experienced in my wack ass dreams:

a very colourful tsuchinoko

me, hacking a cyborg monster down with a chainsaw, and winning..?

me, got turned into a kaizo ningen by a shocker-esque organisation. also i got a sick asf katana and unbreakable bones

tsudai literally just chilling on the couch in complete silence

me, stuck in a building? maze? with jinga of all people. he decided to pick a fight with some dude in a toilet so i ditched him

me, watching kamen rider outsider, thoroughly invested in the events that lead to mikage / jinga getting involved in the entire thing

hiiro and emu holding hands

aruto, jin and ansatsu-chan(? i think) holding hands and being cute together

me, fighting with some dude hard enough i woke myself up by punching the wall next to my bed. p sure my neighbour heard the smack

an all out battle against aliens ft my whole family armed with a bunch of lazer guns

me(? i think), in a mafia meeting. then one guy pulls out a gun and i immediately flip the table and drops, also shooting

#random #my brain and me

2 notes · View notes

zaenight · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 3

Gabriella "Luca" Tavares was happy , Because today was hell night , hazing the rookies.

"Yo scrubs ! you seen José's chain around , he can't find it and now he's bitching!" Luca exclaimed , yelping when José wacked her.

"That's abuse!" Luca said , being ignored.

"Not me." brad said.

"What's it look like?" Pete questioned.

"You know my saint sebastion medal , my lucky saint." José said to em'.

"Since I got it for him , he's been hitting 350 , he's up for highschool all american." Luca said.

"What'd you take it off somewhere?" Pete questioned the older boy with a laugh.

"Shower , and I had it with my towel , must've dropped." José said looking around.

"Why'd you take it off to begin with?" Brad questioned .

Luca gave him a really look wacking him with a towell.

"It's a saint man getting it wet is bad luck!" José exclaimed as Luca muttered

cranky pants.

"I heard that." José said eyes narrowed , as Luca put her hands up in defense.

The two looked around as two boys from the other team came in.

"Hey José , Luca , what's up." One boy said.

"What you need somthing?" José questioned looking up.

Luca had no Idea what their names were , known them for awhile , should probably ask for their names.

"Ran out of beer in our club house , Lou's been spotting us a few cases , This ya'lls crew ? " The other questioned .

"Their Rookie's we're still breakin' em' in." Luca said.

"Need some help?" The lighter boy questioned, getting in brad's face.

"So what's it like on the visitors side?" Pete questioned , Luca let out a scream as a rat scampered across the floor,Jumping into José's arms.

Everybody stared at Luca , Who took a deep breath.

"The Fudge you lookin' at , it's a rat ." Luca said as the rat came back.

"Get it , get it , Getitgetgetitgeditgedit!!!!" Luca exclaimed , Voice becoming louder , Jumping on the table.

"You act ing like a little girl man!" The dark skinned boy said.

"I will shove my fist in your face! , In fact I think I will !" Luca said lunging off the table , José wrapping his arms around his suprisingly

hourglass shaped waist.

"Let me at em' !" Luca exclaimed , Brad and Pete gave a wtf look.

"Man you know how he feels about that ! , you know what happened the last time!" José exclaimed.

The three boys stared at the roof of the clubhouse.

"Poor Robbie , we never saw him again." The dark skinned

boy murmered.

Pete and Brad were super confused , Luca took a deep breath , smacking José away.

"Im okay, Im good , Imma beat his ass!" Luca exclaimed launching again.

"¡Luca tranquilo! , puedes asesinarlo más tarde, recuerda la noche infernal de esta noche." José said pulling Luca away.

(Luca calm down! , you can murder him later , tonight's hell night remember.")

"Fine , your lucky!, Sleep with one eye mother fucka'." Luca said .

"anyways visators side man , best job in the park." The dark skinned one said , Lets call him dummy.

José continued searching for his saint.

"Yeah man we get to meet all the players who come through." the other said , lets call him dumb-dumb.

Yeah Luca should probably get their names.

" Yeah I got the autographs off every allstar in the league." Dummy said.

"I'd rather be here !" Pete said as Luca moved stuff around trying to find José's damn saint.

"Hey Lucy , Ethal,(im pretty sure that what lou said at 0:51), Here's your beer , and I found this in the soap dish , this belong to anyone." Lou said holding the damn thing.

"oh Gracia dios." José said grabbing it.

"I need a head count of who's staying over friday , Luca! José!" Lou exclaimed to them.

"Yeah we're in!" Luca exclaimed.

"Yeah me too. " Lucy said , She thinks he's Lucy , maybe not Lucy .

"You bet." Ethal said , or maybe he's Lucy? , fuck names man.

"Well what's it for?" Pete questioned.

"We got a night game friday,and a game next morning." José started to say.

"So we sleep over and - It's back , José get it!" Luca yelled as the rat stared at her with it's beady eyes.

Rats and Luca don't mix.

"Calm down I got it!" José exclaimed grabbing it by the tail , he then told brad to take it outside.

"Happy?" He questioned.

"Yes." Luca murmured.

"You guys should stay its a blast." Luca continued as brad came back in, yeah a blast , for them.

"Yeah we hang out in the players lounge." Ethal said.

"unlimited junk food , beers ,

cigars." Lucy continued with a smirk on his face.

"Batting practice under the lights." José said as the boys murmured and clapped hands in agreement.

"Really?" Brad questioned.

"Yeah." Luca said in a duh tone.

"you kids in or what?!" Lou questioned , or exclaimed , its hard to tell with Lou.

"Yeah Im in." Pete said along with brad.

"finish up here , wipe down the bathrooms , its a damn swamp in there." Lou said.

The four boys , well besides Luca , not that they knew , had a gleam in their eyes, Pete and Brad don't know whats coming to them.

"Gotta go." Lucy said.

"Hey José,Luca, wanna help." Ethal said as He grabbed cases of beer.

"Yeah no problem." José said as Luca grabbed two cases.

"Alright see you guys friday." Ethal said.

"Yeah see yah." The two said.

"Better not chicken out." Luca said with a laugh.

-------------

" I almost feel sorry for em'" Lucy said with a laugh.

"Yeah those Puppy's Don't know what their in for." José said as Luca laughed.

The Four Laughed carrying the beers , oh those boys don't know what their in for.

-----------

"Im hungry!" Luca exclaimed.

"Your always hungry." José said as the four of them walked to the dugout.

"Yo rookies you ready for tonight?" José questioned.

"Ready as ever." the two said.

"Yeah you better be , only the strongest survive hell night." Lucy said as Ethal flicked brad's hat of his head.

"Uh what'd you say?" Brad questioned.

"Hell night scrubs , we're gonna seperate the men from the boys." Luca said well muttered , cookie in her mouth.

"Where the hell did you get that?" José said.

"Not gonna tell you." Luca mumbled out , mouth stuffed with cookie.

"Like how?" Pete questioned.

"You'll find out." José said pointing.

"Will you squeal like a pig?!" Ethal said before Squealing loudly.

"hope you brought a change of underwhere." Lucy said with a smirk , wrapping his arm around Ethal, José and Luca already in the dugout .

-----------

The four of them decided to be dramatic and come out of the doors.

Ethal , who cracked his neck , out of one , then Lucy , and lastly José and Luca , Who Pete and Brad swore had horns and a tail for a second.

"Let the games begin!" José said as Luca exclaimed loudly , lunging at them , scaring the crap out of them.

"Oh we are going to have so much fun." Luca said with a cackle.

-------------

Tiktok : zaenighteditz

a03: zae_night

wattpad : zae-night

#fanfic #wattpad #original character #clubhouse2004 #clubhouse #jd pardo #j.d pardo #johnortiz #josémarquez #victoria moroles #hayden romero #jeremy sumpter #peteyoung #betsyyoung #danbyrd #mike #brad #lou

1 note · View note

bamsara · 4 years ago

Text

#this could be about motivation but its also about the fact that sometimes rn my fingers have delayed responses #like they lock up #i smack my hand on the table wack wack #writing and drawing feels like ice cubes lmao #sarashush #shitpost

6K notes · View notes

i4bellingham · 2 years ago

Note

Hi!! Could you please write a little angst w Jude? Perhaps he goes out to a club with the boys and a fan tries to kiss him and there’s photos on the internet. So this is when he comes back home ? Ty!

MISLEADING : jude bellingham x fem!reader ( angst + fluff ending )

cw: some random chick kissing jude without any permission + her friends tolerating that shit, cussing, breaking down, crying, making up, england’s nt being the best guys >> cuddling as a result of making up, switches in povs

💗 happy christmas to everyone <33

It’s not a typical occurrence for Jude to go in clubs so when he was given the invite to go with some of the boys from England’s NT and with your persuasion that he go and enjoy the night out, he simply let out a heavy sigh before dragging himself up the stairs and into your shared room to change.

So here he is now, not entirely bored but he’s not really having fun either.

If it’s the club scenario or the wack music or the suffocating atmosphere, he can't decide. But Jude wants a change of scenery else he’ll definitely be going home earlier than the rest of the guys tonight.

Just as he was about to stand up and head outside, Henderson came back to their groupㅡand the confused frown painting Jude’s face was an evident indication that he wasn’t even aware of Hendo leaving the group in the very first place. One Jude deduced was probably because he was way too occupied judging the lame music and plotting of ways to leave the place to notice anything.

Amidst the loud music, Jude can hear Henderson yelling his words to their group.

“The girls from three tables down wants to take photos with us.” Henderson tells them, pointing a finger over the exact table that was filled with a few girls. “Passed by them on my way to get drinks and apparently they've been in some of our games, had photos ’n everything too.”

Trent visibly rolls his eyes beside Jude, not an ounce of care in his face if he's seen doing the notion or not. “Thought Harry implemented the no-picture-taking-in-guys-out rule?”

“Yeah well unfortunately Harry’s not here.” Saka sighs, also contemplating the strict rule that was made so that the boys can enjoy a night out without needing to worry about taking photos. “Well... we can take a few but after this, no more yeah?”

“We’ll be there for no more than five minutes then we’ll come back here and that's the last of it, alright?” Declan’s suggestion earns a unison of nodding heads before the girls are seen approaching their table. “Or... y’know they can just head over here or whatever...”

From beside Jude, Trent whispers just enough for him to hear. “Why do I sense something vile in the air...”

“Why are you wording it like that?” Jude teasingly asks before he’s being smacked on the shoulders. “Startin’ to sound poetic no?”

“Shoulda taken a different route huh?” Trent raises his brows playfully with a smirk. “Think I might do well with poems, literary... might even sell million copies of my books.”

With this, Jude simply laughs before his attention is being taken away from his friend and towards Henderson and a blonde girl beside him.

“Bellingham!”

With a sigh, Jude leaves his seat to approach the two with a smile on his lips. He greets the girl with a simple hi while Henderson does all the work introducing the two to each other albeit a little awkwardly and even though it’s more than apparent that the girl was already aware of who Jude is before they’re doing a little pose for the photos.

It wasn’t customary but it wasn't uncommon for Jude to wrap an arm around a fan’s back or shoulder, so he lets his hand loosely enclose over the girl’s spine before smiling for the camera. But what happens next is enough for Jude to reel himself away from the girl and wiping his lips, the other guys who witnessed what happened letting out shocked ‘woahs’ and ‘heys’ before Henderson is grabbing him by the arms to drag Jude behind his back.

“We’re very lenient when it comes to taking pictures but if you do so much as what you just did which held no respect for my guy... you better best just leave us alone.” Henderson gruffly says before Marcus too is holding the man by the arms.

On the other end, Jude was just lost for words. He was beyond confused and uncomfortable with what just happened that he’s barely processing Mason and Jack coming to his side to sit him back down on the booth before they're standing in front of him, shielding him away from the group of girls as did the other guys who left their seats.

“... you must be bloody crazy if you think it’s okay to molest someone like that. Ever heard of respecting a person’s space? No? Cos it shows.” Jude hears Trent scoff before he’s being told by Wilson to calm down.

There’s a few more exchange of words, but Jude’s head was just way too far beyond to fully comprehend the entire conversation happening. All he got from it was the guys telling the girls off, slapping them basically with the wrong their friend did that was unfortunately tolerated by their entire circle before he hears Phil just demanding the girls leave their table else they'll call security on them. That seemed to have done the trick because after a more than 10-minute discourse, their table finally cleared and the guys are sitting back in their seats, all tensed and irritated.

Saka taps Jude by the shoulder, sliding him a glass of water. “Do you wanna stay here or do you want to go home?”

“Home-”

Shit.

Jude frantically looks for his phone, wiping his sweaty palms over his jeans before he's tapping onto the screen, checking some things on there which garnered him confused looks from the other guys before the realization too smacks them straight in the face.

In a split second, all of them are scrolling through their phones. Pulling articles after articles, tapping their’s and Jude's names on the search bar of Twitter to see if anything new popped up.

“Shitshitshit.”

Anxiousness was all Jude felt. There was no other thoughts in his mind as he scrolls through his phone, name searched for the latest news about him except for you, his girlfriend who trusted him enough to go out with the guys without any issues. What if someone took photo of what happened? What if you misunderstood everything and hate him? What if when he gets home you're no longer there with him? What if he can’t explain his side knowing he too was just as dumbfounded and surprised when it happened? What if this causes for-

“Jude.” Luke passes him his phone silently, a grim look on his face.

The others stop their searching before they too are leaning over the table to look at Luke's phone. There, a photo although a little blurry was still pretty recognizable especially with the flash on. The photo was posted on a Twitter handle with no profile, no followers and no other posts besides the picture itself that was posted just a minute ago. But the likes and retweets of it was spiking by each passing second.

“Fuck I need to go homeㅡI wanna go home she's gonna fuckin’ leave me if I don’t explain what happened I can’t I need to go home-” Jude abruptly leaves the table before the guys are following after him, jogging after their midfielder to the parking lot as Jude tries to ring up your phone but to no avail.

“Jude calm down! You’re gonna get yourself hurt if you don’t calm down this second man!” Trent pulls him by the shoulders, slightly shaking him as he tries not to breakdown in front of his friends. “Come on, I’ll drive you. We’ll help you fix this alright?”

Jude stiffly nods his head, phone still against his ear as he listens to the ringing sound of the device in his hand.

Marcus pats him on the back, opening the passenger’s side before he’s ushering him in while Trent goes to the driver’s side.

“Drive safe Trent.”

“We’ll pick you up at theirs. We’ll explain what happened to you if things goes south Jude, don’t worry about anything.” Henderson adds before he too reaches a hand to give a reassuring pat on Jude’s shoulders.

Mason nods his head in agreement. “You didn’t do anything wrong Jude. Don’t beat yourself over this.”

“If it’s someone else’s fault, it’s that girl’s and her friends’. Bunch of obnoxious things they were.” A few snorts and snickers left the guys’ lips from Jack’s comment. “Don’t worry, like Trent said, we’ll help you fix this and like Mase said, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jude breathes a sigh of relief, wiping away the tears on his lash line before he lets a sigh escape from his chest. “Thanks a lot...”

One by one they clear off from Jude’s car, watching the vehicle as it drives away before going inside their respective cars as Henderson follows after them to take Trent back and to also back their friend up.

It’s such a draining thing, what happened was. Jude couldn’t fully grasp in his head that a random girl had the guts to kiss him right on the lips in public and in front of his friends especially knowing he’s already got a pretty thing waiting for him at home; a relationship that was already out in public for an entire year.

Although was filled with reassurance, he still couldn’t help the harsh palpitations of his chest. Jude still dreads for whatever is gonna happen next because he cannot bear to see you hurt regardless of what reason causes you to feel like it. But the thing is that, something happened tonight. It happened, and that was just there to it. It happened and Jude doesn’t want it to cause you to start overthinking or worse, lose your trust.

So when 20 minutes later and they're pulling up in front of his house, Jude leaves the car with a shaky breath and Trent following after him.

Before the both of them headed inside, Trent places a palm on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, you did nothing wrong. And if there’s one thing I know, she’ll hear you out if she did read and saw the posts because she trusts you enough to listen to your side of the story. So just calm down and explain everything that happened to her.”

With a stiff nod, Jude grabs the doorknob twisting it before he’s pushing the door open.

　　　　　　　　　　ㅡ ♡ ㅡ

It was supposed to be a calm and relaxing night.

You planned on binge-watching your favorite tv series in your laptop, eat some of your favorite snacks and drink and settle down on the couch with your thick duvet wrapped around you for the extra coziness and warmth.

It had been 45 minutes since Jude left the house, planting multiple kisses all over you face before he’s out the door with a promise to be back before the clock hits one. And your plan for the night was nearly coming into fruition, you just need to get your snacks to the coffee table in the living room then you’re all set.

But it was the notifications that came after one another blowing up your phone that had you pausing from placing a bowl of berries on the tray as you checked the device over the counter.

from: friend1

hey isn’t this jude?

https://twitter.com/user97203759/status/1937373027638.com

With a frown, you tap on the link thinking not too much of it.

You were expecting to see another goofy video, another weird picture of Jude being posted online but what welcomes your vision wasn’t anything but that. Instead, the dimly lit photo with a blurred background of red LED lights, booths and two people in front of the camera made you do a double-take as you eyed the rather intimate captured moment.

The entire outfit that Jude left the house with not even an hour ago was waving straight at your eyes, the haircut and even the blurry face showed that it was indeed your boyfriend himself. But what made you close your phone from inspecting your screen any further was the fact that another girl was kissing Jude.

You wanted to throw up.

You need to throw up.

Tears started to pool around the corner of your eyes as you lean yourself on the counter, heaving deep breaths of air through your mouth before you have a palm against your chest, clasping at the section.

You knew Jude well-enough to know that he wouldn’t cheat on you. No, his Mum raised him better than that. He knows his morals stands at a better point to be a man like that. You knew he would never do it. Not now, not ever.

But still, the ache in your chest and the hollow sensation had you slotting yourself on the floor, arms wrapped around your knees in a way to comfort your own self before you're sniffling and muffling your cries against your thighs.

You sat there with no sense of time. All you know is that you've been there long enough for your bottoms to start hurting. And though your tears have dried leaving a streak on your cheeks, the pain and disappointment was still fresh in your head.

And then the front door opens before the padding of feet on the floor sounded off in the corner of the hall that connected the living space and the open kitchen.

“Y/N? Love?” Jude’s voice reached your ears before you even saw him, but it wasn’t long before his tall figure emerged from the shadows of the barely lighted room.

　　　　　　　　　ㅡ ♡ ㅡ

When Jude reached the open space for your kitchen and living room, his heart broke at the sight of you sat on the floor with your phone beside you, arms wrapped around your body as you stared at the wooden flooring of the house.

Jude immediately knew he fucked up, big time. And though he didn't like what happened, it still happened and there’s nothing he can do to change that. But what he can do right now is to make it up to you, assure you that there’s nothing going on, that there’s nobody else but you, that he would never cheat, not to anyone and especially not to you. And he starts doing just that by approaching you with slow steps. In his sixth step though, you stopped him by asking one question that had him pausing entirely from his tracks.

“What happened?”

Jude breathed a sigh of partial relief. Although the circumstance wasn’t an ideal one to begin with for him to be washed away with the relief slowly soothing his chest, he’s not yet explained his side of the story and reassure you that the things you probably already saw on the internet isn’t what it seems. So Jude hesitantly sits down beside you on the floor, leaning his back against the cold marble of the kitchen counter.

“There were these girls wanting to take pictures with us ’n I didn’t really put too much thought into it at first, never even had a single thought that she’d kiss me in the process but it happened.” Jude sighs, wincing at memory. “Then the guys reprimanded their groupㅡcouldn’t recall the entire conversation if I’m bein’ honest... was still stuck inside ma head to fully comprehend what’s happening.”

You didn’t say anything at his explanation, fiddling instead with the loose ends of your shirt and refused to meet his eyes.

The relief Jude felt earlier slowly washed away, replacing it was the dread that built up in the pit of his stomach and the anxiety that had his hands shaking.

“I didn’t want it to happen love, I swear to you I didn't want it to happen...” He whispers, hands aching to reach out to you but instead he lets them sit over his thighs. “I don’t want to lose you, please believe me...”

A hundred million thoughts ran inside Jude’s head as your silence prevailed, most of which were inclined to the doom of the relationship that he wanted to last until the very end. It was not a good look on him, he knows that. But somewhere deep down he knows that you knew him enough to gauge his character that he would never do such thing. Jude believes that you would never doubt his loyalty to you, but at the same time looking at the situation in entirety and even though he never wanted for it to happen, anything was plausible to play out even the negative scenario playing inside his head. Because even though Jude didn’t want it doesn't mean the current issue never happened.

“Y/N...? Babe please say something...” Jude leaves his spot beside you before kneeling down in front of you. “I would you rather swear at me just please... say anything-”

“I’m hurt Jude.”

Your words pulls at his heartstrings and making him stop his sentence.

“I’m hurt and disappointed and angry...” There is a drag at the end of your words, almost as if you're trying to prolong the impending end of the relationship. At this, Jude almost scrambles on his feet to ask you to listen, to tell you that he’s got the guys to back his story up because that’s what really happened or better yet, convince you to visit the club with him so they can ask for security footage when it happened. He was ready to do just anything so you don’t break up with him, but what leaves your lips next had him slotting his large frame in between your legs, head on your chest and arms around your waist.

“But I know you... and I know you would never cheat on me, and I trust you. Denise will give you a lifetime’s worth of ass-whooping if you did that.” The last sentence was meant to be a joke, a playful jab to ease down the tense atmosphere but instead of it having that effect, Jude was on your chest and muffling his sniffs.

You simply cradle him against you, leaning your head against his before you're running your fingers through his curls. “I trust you Jude... it’s okay... it’s okay baby...”

“I thought you were gonna leave me.” He says against your chest, arms tightening around you. “I was so scared...”

You plant a kiss on his head. “I would never. I thought you knew me better than that to think that I would immediately believe posts like that on the internet.”

“Yeah well... I wouldn’t be surprised if you did, that wasn’t a good look innit?”

“Definitely wasn’t, but I believe you.”

Jude raises his head from your chest before a few feet shuffling down the hall from the entrance of your home sounded off against the walls. There, Trent and Henderson emerges from the hall just like Jude did earlier.

Their eyes widen for a split second seeing you and Jude on the floor, arms around one another.

“So I take it that you guys are okay?” You both nod to Trent’s query.

“We’re still hearing the wedding bells mate, they're fine.” Henderson adds before the two of them are ranting about their experience with those girls not too long ago, all with hand movements and loud booming voices that was definitely a pale comparison to the calm night that you were hoping for.

　　　　　　　　　ㅡ ♡ ㅡ

The next day comes and accompanies it was the shrill sound of Jude’s phone ringing early in the morning.

He was still trending on Twitter but this time, with a new clarification to his name.

Head against his bare chest, he scrolls through multiple posts from different Twitter users who reposted a video from last night’s event in a different yet very helpful angle. In the short clip spanning not even longer than 3 minutes showed Jude and the still yet unnamed girl posing in front of the camera. It also showed the other guys who were also taking pictures at that time before the girl slotted her lips against Jude’s that had them rushing off to their mate who by then was already being shielded by Henderson.

The conversation wasn’t audible in the clip but the unmistaken heated faces of the guys says enough for you. The video ended with the camera panning back to Jude who was seated back inside the booth, in daze and very much unaware of his surrounding as he stares at the wooden table in front of him.

“Such an unfortunate thing her entire circle of friends defended her...” Jude scoffs at your comment.

“I’m betting they planned it all beforehand, quite pathetic really.” He kisses your head before closing his phone and letting his back land on the plush bed, dragging you with him on top. He wraps an arm around you as you adjust so you're laying next to him. “And this is why I’ll never go out without you ever again.”

“Well what if it's the boy’s night out at Harry's?”

“Katie loves you doesn’t she?” You nod your head hesitantly. Jude simply hugs you tighter, throwing a leg over your hip. “Then it’s settled, I’m bringin’ you anywhere I go.”

You roll your eyes before patting him on the chest. “Nice try big guy but I have classes and other things going on.”

You receive another kiss on the head and a cheeky reply from that as Jude smiles. “Well... I’ll find ways to sort that out but for now, stay here with me.”

“Always Jude... always.”

a/n: i have an upcoming photoshoot from 26th of this month up until the 30th so i’m trying to finish all the requests sent in my asks but man, my finger cramps are such a buzzkill 😭

#☆ i4bellingham writes.#☆ jude bellingham #jude bellingham #jude bellingham fanfiction #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham scenario #jude bellingham x fem!reader #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham angst #jude bellingham fanfic

3K notes · View notes

writing-mlm · 3 years ago

Text

Smelting talks (if they actually talked)

Hiccup Haddock x male reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: none

summary: Hiccup has a crush on you, the forger, and goes over to talk but can't seem to get past a greeting. Astrid decides to help him at least say more than three words.

Hiccup Haddock III, who, for as long as you could remember, had never had too much interest in forging. Nothing above the logistics. Just enough that he could make his own items, like the prosthetic Toothless wore. But ever since you had been taken under Gobber’s wing as his apprentice, Hiccup somehow managed to stop by every day.

Sometimes he claimed it was since he was chief and needed to make sure everything was going smoothly while other times he put in requests. Most of them were simple, like a dragon saddle or a new bolt for one of the ships but occasionally he’d ask for weapons and help with gathering forging materials.

The Smithy was almost painfully hot, with the blistering Berk heat, your sheepskin-clad outfit, and the fact that one of the dragons lit the grass on fire nearby, you were sure you were going to pass out. You swung down the hammer on the hissing red metal and felt the vibrations as it bent into the shape you hit it in. It was quickly turning a silver color, though, so with every third or so hit you had to stick it back in the coal pit.

“Working hard, eh?” Hiccup laughed as he poked his head inside the customer window. You looked over at him and nodded, barely able to wipe the sweat bedding on your forehead before the metal turned the same dangerous red as it had just moments before.

“And sweating like a pig, I tell ya!” Gobber smacked your back as you transferred the metal back to the metal table. “Snotlout broke his helmet and needs one before the race, (Y/n) here said he’d get it down by sundown the day after next,” By the tone of his voice you could tell Gobber thought you were in over your head.

“He has a big head, it’s easy,” You muttered with a wack of your mallet. “See? Almost done, ain’t he a pretty thing?” You turned to look at Hiccup as his eyes darted down from you to the almost complete helmet.

“You mean she,” Gobber grabbed a thick strip of metal and tossed it down in front of you.

“She’s for the woman-loving folk,” Taking a pair of tongs from the workstation, you picked up the metal and made your way to the fire pit. “And while they are very pretty, I prefer the men,”

With your back turned to Hiccup you couldn’t see the way his cheeks flared a bright red, how his eyes went wide and mouth agape. He looked over at Gobber who was laughing, muttering something about a past crush you had. From a book or something, Hiccup didn’t care. He was too busy replaying what you had said.

The more it processed the more red Hiccup got, it was so bad that when you turned around you thought the fire had been so hot as to make him look as if he had just stood in front of it for a little while.

“Are you okay, Hiccup?” You bit your glove off and pressed the back of your hand to his forehead. “Ah, my hands warm. No use,” You laughed and put it back on. “Why don’t you go and get some cooler air. You’re burning more than the coal,” He nodded and walked away as you went back to working on the helmet.

“Astrid!” Hiccup shouted as he raced over to her as she was about to mount her dragon. “Astrid— guess what!” He panted, holding onto the dragon's scales for support.

“If it’s about (Y/n) again,” She warned with a half-serious glare. She had listened to him talk about you since they became friends. Even more so when they became fake lovers. It was painful, honestly, she couldn’t believe how fast Hiccup could talk about something other than dragons.

“It is—“ Astrid turned from him and went to tell Stormfly to take off. “But- but this is good news. I promise! He’s into guys, too!” Almost as if Astrid had forgotten about the countless nights she spent tossing pillows and threatening Hiccup to shut up about his stupid crush, she jumped off of Stormfly and landed in front of Hiccup.

“Tell me everything,” She demanded, although it wasn’t necessary since Hiccup was already fixing to tell her an exact recall of what had happened just minutes ago. But he might have gone into too much detail as Astrid shoved his face away before she gripped his shoulders. “Shorten it— nothing about how the sweat rolled down. I don’t care about that!”

“Okay… okay. So, he was working on a helmet for Snotlout and—“

—

The following morning, after you had stayed up throughout the night to finish the helmet, you put the final details on the helmet. All that was left was to cast it in dragon's spit. Something Snotlout swore gave his helmet an extra boost of strength. He even got the rest of the island to believe it so it came as a standard practice.

Also, one that meant you had to collect dragon spit at least three times a week and no amount of pay were worth it.

You settled yourself on a patch of still-living grass and set the bucket of spit next to you before grabbing the contents of your bag from your side. Inside was an apron to keep spit from going on you, two brushes, and the helmet.

“So… (Y/n),” Astrid plopped herself down next to you. “Are you busy?” You dipped the horsehair brush into the spit and turned to her.

“How busy is covering a helmet in dragon spit?” You joked and slapped the brush on the inside of the helmet before gagging. “It smells so bad,” Smearing the inside, you saw Astrid get closer to the bucket before she quickly covered her nose.

“Seems…” She scooted away from the bucket. “Fun.”

“But, nope. Not busy,” Situation the helmet between your legs, you heard Astrid hum and then grumble something. But before you could get a chance to look at her, she tossed her arm over your shoulder.

“Are you into anyone? Snotlout or… Hiccup?”

“Definitely not Snotlout,” Jutting her away with the brush, you dipped it back into the bucket.

“And Hiccup?” She trailed off. You glanced over and shrugged before dropping your hands to your side, allowing the brush to slide down inside the helmet.

“He’s good-looking. But we haven’t had an actual conversation yet. He always runs off,” You explained, looking up at the clouds with a squint. “We used to be close, as kids. But then… I don’t know. We drifted apart? Maybe, he just stopped talking to me,”

“Really?” She perked up and you nodded through a tight-lipped smile and closed eyes.

“He… I knew I liked boys when I was around him. Maybe that’s why like he knew something. I don’t know, I never asked. I got over it by the time he found Toothless but—“

“It’s come back?” She finished. You sat up and angrily picked up the paintbrush.

“It’s stupid! Because I’m always working and I’m trying to not look at him and when he’s over I want to talk to him but— but—“ You groaned and slapped the brush on the outside of the helmet before reeling back as spit flew up. “He runs away and can’t keep a conversation! Just talk, y’know what I mean?”

“Maybe he’s shy…” She wiped the spit from the side of her face and rubbed it on the grass. “He could… feel the same way or… maybe he’s sorry about ignoring you,”

“Maybe,” With the helmet casted, you laid it on your apron and let it dry in the grass. “But until then—“ You turned to Astrid and smiled. “I’ll be working on my commissions,”

If there was one thing Astrid had learned from that conversation was that her best friend was utterly and completely stupid. She knew before, of course, the dude had managed to convince an entire dragon-hunting island to love dragons and that took a certain level of stupidity to even think of. But now— now that after years of hearing his wallow and pine just to hear he potentially ruined any chances he had before he even hit puberty was beyond her.

She stormed into his home, nearly scaring Toothless into blasting her and startling the baby dragons he had in his care since the nursery was being repaired.

“Hiccup Haddock the third!” She shouted and slammed the door shut. “Get down here or so Odin help you—“ Before she could finish her sentence she heard the clattering of items from the second floor before Hiccup came jumping down. He was struggling to put his leg on, and nearly tripped going down the stairs.

“What— What happened?” He looked around, panicked and frantic.

“You happened!” She stabbed her finger at his chest. “I just have a very insightful conversation with (Y/n) and guess what he told me,”

“What?”

—

Believe it or not, even after Astrid yelled and threw pillows at him, Hiccup still couldn’t bring himself to say more than three words before he cowered away. He tried every day, he managed more and more but by then a month had passed and Astrid had officially given up all hope.

“Nice—“ His eyes darted around the Smithy for something other than you to compliment. “Blueprints, hanging,” He pointed over to the wall and you followed.

“Oh, yeah. One of the kids wants matching swords for him and his friends, gave us these designs and I came up with those,” You picked up the blueprints and handed them to Hiccup. He took them and you leaned against the desk, your fingers clutching on the edge of the wooden table and your ankles crossed.

“These are nice, I didn’t know you made concepts,” Hiccup smiled up at you from the seat Gobber had forced him to sit on after he nearly knocked over a bucket of liquid metal.

“Oh yeah, I made a lot of the blueprints as of late. Gobber isn’t the most creative on paper,”

“I also like men,” He blurted and you blinked.

“Cool, thanks for telling me.” You turned away as a villager approached and gave in their ticket. “Hand me that saddle, Hiccup,” He nodded and scrambled to the saddle perched on the desk. It was heavy but he was no stranger to lifting heavy objects. With a small grunt, he lifted the saddle up and walked over to you.

“Here you go,” He laughed after you stared at him for a second too long.

“Shoot, right. Thanks,” He slid the saddle to you and you helped the man load it onto his wagon.

“You… have you ever liked me?” He asked suddenly and you whipped around to face him.

“I mean, yes. But that was a while ago,” You chuckled and stuffed a piece of metal into the fire pit. “I… sorta had a thing for you, I guess. I mean— crap. You got me soundin’ like you. Tongue-tied and all that,” You tossed the metal into a bucket of water and looked at Hiccup. “Yes, short and simple,”

“Is it still ongoing?” He pressed and took a step forward.

“Maybe, we haven’t talked like this in a while,” Clearing your throat, you settled yourself on a chair. “You haven’t talked to me like this in a while, I’ve been flirting with you for ages,”

“Really— it was flirting. I told Astrid but she said I was being hopeful,” Hiccup must’ve been unaware that he was talking out loud since as soon as he finished talking he looked at you as if you weren’t supposed to hear that.

“You talk to Astrid about me?” He quickly went red but admitted that he did.

“I talk to Gobber about you, if that helps,”

“It does,”

“Cool.” Getting up, you checked the sun and saw it was time for lunch. “Want to get some fish fries?” You asked, hanging your apron up and turning the fire off. Gobber was out sick so the forge didn’t have anyone to watch it while you took your break. And burning down the only forgery wasn’t the best thing to happen to the island.

“Sure, they got this new thing I’ve been wanting to try. Uh…” Hiccup looked up to the sky as if it would tell him the answer. “Fish chips!”

“I heard of that,” You nodded before turning your head over to him. “This is a date, right?” Hiccup stopped and coughed into his fist for a second.

“Yup— yes! Definitely, a date. Yes,” He puffed up his chest and guided you to the restaurant.

#hiccup x reader #hiccup haddock x reader #hiccup x male reader #hiccup haddock x male reader #x male reader #httyd #httyd x reader #httyd x male reader #hiccup haddock #mlm

1K notes · View notes

hornime · 3 years ago

Text

net benefits | itadori yuuji x f!reader

warnings: 18+, f!reader, dubcon voyeurism, mutual masturbation, unprotected sex, drinking

w/c: 8.1k (actually on crack)

a/n: this is officially my longest work (wack) as well as my piece for @undersero‘s trope trove collab! the trope i started with was fake dating, but (inevitably) i also weaved in mutual pining and idiots in love and of course the trusty there’s-only-one-bed. i loved writing this and i hope you love reading it!

fake dating has its perks.

nobara no longer nags you to go to her wild girls nights that end up with her making out with some hot stranger and you awkwardly trying to pry her off of them. men on the street stop hitting on you when they see the hand wrapped in yours. your parents phase out of signing you up for online dating accounts, forcing you to sift through an endless stream of emails from people that swear that they're 'the one'. on your end, there's only net benefits.

the same goes for itadori. he doesn't have to pester fushiguro to try out new restaurants—he can just drag you along instead. gojou-sensei doesn't try and set him up with the girls that give him their numbers. and he's really looking forward to that valentine's day discount that his favorite bakery has for couples.

so yeah. net benefits for everyone.

but, by far, the best part of fake dating is getting first dibs on room choice during your friend group's annual summer vacation.

it started when you all were eighteen and fresh out of high school, desperate to use your newfound freedom for something fun, and most importantly, far from home. the couple rule came about during the second vacation, when everyone chose rooms next to each other. nobara brought her girlfriend at the time and, well, no one really got much sleep for that weekend.

the consensus was simple: never again.

now, if you decide to bring someone you're romantically involved with on the trip, you book your room first. and then everyone else books their rooms on the opposite side of the hotel, wishing the best to the unsuspecting families of four and solo travelers that are unlucky enough to sleep near you.

it's a strict rule. it doesn't matter if you swear you'll be quiet or if you promise not to... bone. if you're a couple, everyone is turning in the other direction.

and so, four years later, nobara's wrapped up in picking a room at this fancy, beachside hotel for you and itadori. it's mostly out of spite that you tell her to pick a suite, embellished with a large lounge area, a jacuzzi in the spacious bathroom, and walk-out balcony that's overlooking the ocean, forcing everyone else to settle for booking the smaller, albeit cheaper, rooms that are farther from the shore.

it's going to be a fun weekend. before you were dating, well, fake dating, you and itadori were friends that shared the same sense of humor and same hedonistic demeanor. and you'd been crushing on him for ages, but that's not the point. you can ignore the close proximity and the way your feelings are slowly but surely eating you alive for a couple days, right?

you wish you could say you were positive that you could handle it.

one thing's for sure, though: with this awesome room to come back to every night, well, it's definitely going to be a fun weekend.

itadori whistles as you push open the double doors to the room, lugging his suitcase behind him.

"this is... really nice."

you're speechless, met with what you think heaven is: floor-to-ceiling windows present the entire landscape of the beach, letting the room almost glow with natural light. there's a white couch in front of a gigantic television, and in between the two is an intricate coffee table. it's what's on the table, though, that catches your eye.

a large basket filled with what you assume to be goodies and snacks is smack-dab in the middle. curious, you plop down onto the couch to examine it, as itadori shuffles in behind you.

"'welcome to the honeymoon suite,'" you read from the card sticking out from the top, placing it on the side. you do a double-take. "wait, what?"

"uh," you hear itadori's muffled voice from another room, presumably the bedroom. "are you sure this is right room?"

you huff, getting to your feet and following the sound of his voice. you walk through a doorway to find him staring down at a very large and very comfortable-looking bed covered in... rose petals?

you barely stifle a chuckle, covering your mouth. itadori glances at you, pink dusting his cheeks, a similarly amused expression on his face.

"this has got to be a mistake," you snort.

he wiggles his eyebrows. "unless you were trying to subtly tell me something, which, if you were, is definitely working."

you roll your eyes, trying to ignore the way your face warms. moving around the room, you crouch and study the nighstand. pulling open the drawer, you come face-to-face with a very hefty box of condoms with cheeky note saying 'use protection ;)' attached to it.

itadori jumps as you slam the drawer shut.

"you good?"

"oh yeah," you say through a strained smile. "this day just keeps getting better and better."

after an hour of excruciatingly awkward packing—awkward because you know that itadori definitely saw the condoms and just decided not to say anything—you decide to meet your friends.

nobara has a wicked expression on her face as you approach her, and you get the inkling that maybe your room placement wasn't actually a mistake.

"nobara," you hiss, noting how her smile seems to grow wider as you look out of the corner of your eye to make sure itadori isn't near, "what exactly did you do?"

"walk with me," she tells you, pointedly refusing to answer your question. you consider staying put until she gives you an explanation, but she wraps an arm around your shoulder and forces you to move with her.

"you know," she says after a moment. "fushiguro told me something interesting."

"oh," you say, rapidly losing your patience. "and what was that?"

"that you and itadori aren't actually dating."

you still, your blood turning to ice. there's no way he'd tell fushiguro... right?

as if she can read your thoughts, nobara laughs. "itadori didn't tell him," she snickers. "you guys are just too stupid and too easy to figure out."

"does he know that you know?"

nobara makes an ugly noise that sounds like it was meant to be a laugh. "as if! itadori's even more of an airhead than you are."

you ignore the dig, trying to uncover the motivation behind this... this scheme.

"so you made our reservation... that room.... as revenge?"

her brown eyes glint in the sunlight. "now, would your dearest friend do such a thing for petty revenge?"

you don't even let a beat pass before responding with a clipped "yes, that's exactly what i think you'd do."

she scoffs, playing with a strand of her hair. "i'm trying to help you! you've been pining over itadori for forever!"

"shut—" whipping your head around, you see itadori talking animatedly to fushiguro, who has a bored expression on his face. he silently mouthes to you 'save me' and you stick your tongue out. he deserves to get his ear talked off, especially after ratting you out. turning back, satisfied that itadori's out of earshot, you continue. "—up."

"i'm right, though!"

"that doesn't mean you have to do something about it," you mutter. "i'll tell him eventually."

she turns to you with a cocked eyebrow. "when?"

"someday," you say sheepishly, nudging the ground with your foot. "maybe in the next decade."

"see? this is why i'm giving you a boost."

"by booking the honeymoon suite for us? could you be any more obvious?"

"trust me, i could write 'you both like each other' on my forehead, and neither of you would get the hint."

"hey!" you lightly punch her in the arm, before realizing what she just said. "wait, what do you mean us 'both'—"

she's already scurrying away towards your friends, waving a hand and rushing you over. you groan, dragging a hand down your face.

it's going to be a fun weekend, you remind yourself. even though my boyfriend is fake and my friends are plotting against me. it's definitely going to be a fun weekend.

if the first issue with the honeymoon suite was that, well, it's for honeymooners and therefore designed with a sexual subtext, the second is the lack of a second bed.

it's a dilemma that doesn't come to you until long after the first day is done, and everyone's heading back to their rooms slightly tipsy and extremely exhausted. it didn't occur to you back when you were packing because you were a bit too bewildered from seeing the condoms, and you assume that the same thing happened to itadori, because he didn't mention anything either. so as you say goodnight to your friends and ignore the wagging fingers, jokes of 'don't disturb the people around you', and nobara's knowing smile, you stop dead in your tracks.

itadori cocks his head in question, lazily rubbing at his tired eyes in a way that's so unfairly cute.

you groan softly. "there's only one bed."

his eyes widen in realization as you fumble for the key, the door unlocking with a beep. the two of you enter the room, gentle tendrils of moonlight reflecting off of the water and through the windows. even at night it looks beautiful.

"i can take the couch."

you look at him in a way that says 'you can't be serious'. "that couch is as stiff as cardboard. you're not sleeping on it."

"well, then neither are you," he retorts.

"fine."

it'll be okay, you try to convince yourself as you head into the bathroom first after itadori's insistence, pajamas in hand. we're two adults. we can share a bed without it being weird.

you enter the bathroom and see just how... expansive it is. there's not a lot of walls, or privacy for that matter, but it makes sense since the whole layout was designed for a couple that probably doesn't want that much distance between them anyway. you are surprised, though, to see two different shower stalls separated by a wall. peeking your head into the stall closest to you, you see that the wall is, in fact, a full length mirror, the reflective surface stretching to the ceiling and spreading until it hits the back wall. you admire yourself for a few moments before realizing that you can both shower at once.

it's been a long day. he probably wants to wash up as soon as he can and sleep, you reason. and we might as well take advantage of this huge-ass bathroom.

"yo, itadori!"

you hear the shuffle of clothing and the push of a door as he comes into the bathroom.

"yeah?"

"there's two showers," you say, nodding towards them. "we can shower at once and then pass the fuck out."

he sidesteps you, seeing that there's a mirror between the two showers.

"gotcha," he replies, a little breathless. "i'll go... grab my clothes then."

"and i'll be," you jerk your thumb towards the stall, "...in there." you finish awkwardly.

god, why am i such a wreck?

the tips of itadori's ears burn red as he remembers what exactly you'll be doing... in there. rubbing soap along your body, maybe cupping your tits, letting your hands trace down those thighs of yours...

he blinks and you're already heading into the stall, the frosted glass door closing behind you.

god, get your shit together, he pleads to himself. don't fuck things up.

within a few minutes, itadori's gathered his clothes on one of the very conveniently-placed counters and opening the door to his stall. he takes a second to steady his breathing, feeling the cloudy steam from your side circulate through his lungs, while trying his absolute best to not to think about you. in the shower next to him.

naked.

he groans, smacking his forehead. worst case scenario, he can just take a very, very cold shower. or he can take care of his soon-to-be problem in the shower. one of the two. both options are fine.

stepping into the shower, he examines his surroundings. it's not any more than he expected, and as he rotates in place, seeing one wall of tile, another wall of tile, and yet another wall of tile, he thinks that this isn't too bad of a place to jerk off. worst case scenario, of course.

and then he turns to the fourth wall, and his eyes nearly bulge out of his head.

because while your side has a mirror, his doesn't. it's just glass.

it's just glass and he can fucking see you on the other side.

he quickly averts his eyes, turning around and trying to pretend that your bare figure isn't seared into his brain and that his dick isn't hardening against his thigh.

it's a fucking two-way mirror.

he simultaneously wants to worship and curse whoever designed this room because what the fuck. and as much as he'd theoretically enjoy the view, which he shouldn't because it's not like you knew that it wasn't an actual mirror, it's also a reminder of everything he can't have: you, right there in front of him, stripped and lathering iridescent bubbles all across your skin, compelling him to watch like some kind of pervert.

god, you're killing him. he wants you so bad.

and it's at that moment, when his back is turned towards you, that the flowery scent of the body wash and the sight of sweat dripping down itadori's abs and the fucking aura of sex in the entire hotel room gets to you, and your hand trails lower and lower down your abdomen until it's brushing against your clit. the arousal hits you like a truck, and before you can stop yourself, your mind is flashing with all kinds of erotic scenarios of itadori bouncing you on his cock, him stuffing his face into your cunt, him pounding you mercilessly from the back.

if you squint, you swear you can imagine him watching you from the other side of the mirror, a lazy hand stroking up and down his cock, an toothy smile on his face. it's enough to make you let out a little noise of want, but you immediately stifle it with a hand clamped over your mouth.

was i too loud?

for a moment, there's nothing you can hear but the insistent white noise of running water, so you believe that you're in the clear.

on the other side of the mirror, itadori's jaw is clenched, a vein popping in his forehead. you have the nerve, the audacity, to be so close yet so fucking far. it's as if you know the effect you have on him, the way all the blood is rushing from his head to somewhere... less decent.

it takes everything in him not to groan at the sound of you moaning—it's faint, almost washed away by the rush of water, but he hears it all the same.

against every moral he has, his head snaps to look at you, hand immediately coming to wrap around his cock at the sight: you, leaning against the far wall, legs slightly spread and fingers teasing your entrance, head thrown back and wet hair plastered along the sides of your face.

this is so fucking unfair, he thinks to himself, the grip of his hand moving against his will to stroke up and down. you're so fucking unfair.

you get a little bolder, the lust clouding your mind and muffling the alarm bells that are telling you not to masturbate when your crush is mere feet away. your finger brushes against your clit and you shudder, the first suggestion of relief striking like electricity through your veins. you indulge in it like you can't get enough, fingers trailing lower to dip into your entrance, and you don't stop until you're three knuckles deep and your palm slaps against your clit.

"oh, god," you say breathily, head thumping against the cold tile of the wall behind you. "fuck, i—"

itadori's movements get more frantic, his hand meeting his base of his chest so harshly that it's a wonder you can't hear the slap! of skin on skin. the heat in his veins is searing—he feels like he'll burn up if he doesn't get this debauched energy out of his body. and you're right there, droplets of water condensing on your eyelashes, rivulets of it tracing paths down your body that he wants to follow with his hands, with his tongue...

"fuck," he hisses under his breath. "fuck, fuck, fuck."

your thighs clench around your wrist, the fat squishing and making everything feel so much better, and you let out a choked whimper.

"want you so bad," you whisper to your daydreams, imagining that the puffs of warm air against your flesh are phantom touches of itadori. "yuuji, i–i just—"

itadori's abs clench as he rolls his hips into his fist, thrusting into it, wishing it was your greedy pussy sucking him back in every time he goes to pull out.

"fuck, 'm gonna cum. ah, fuck—"

you fingers curl and hit that spongy spot inside you and you keen, knees going weak as your hand scrambles to stabilize yourself against the wall. you reach your peak, mind going blank as you cum hard.

"yuuji!"

his eyes snap open because he swears that that's my fucking name, she just moaned something that sounded like my fucking name—and truthfully, he couldn’t care less if it really was his name or not, it’s enough for him to indulge himself—and then he spills into his hand, sinking his teeth into his fist to stop himself from giving himself away.

the feeling of your orgasm hits you so hard that everything fades to black behind your eyelids—you're not even grounded enough to hear the strangled groan that comes from the other side of the mirror.

the two of you gasp for breath, backs resting uncomfortably against the chilling cold of your respective showers. your head reels as you realize what the fuck you just did and how fucking stupid it just was. it did feel good to get off to all your filthy little daydreams, though. the sexual tension has been frustrating.

and itadori feels the same way, staring down at the shower drain in shame and... dissatisfaction. now that he's gotten a chance to see you, he just wants to feel you.

fuck, he wants it so bad that it’s consuming him.

you turn off the water first, grabbing a towel and wiping yourself clean before quickly stepping out and wearing your pajamas. you slink out of the bathroom, heart pounding, and slide under the bedsheets. itadori follows soon after, and you try not to make it apparent that you just masturbated to the thought of him.

so naturally, you're trying to devour him with your eyes, wishing that you had x-ray vision and could see what was underneath those plaid pants and gray t-shirt of his.

he sneaks in bed beside you, putting so much distance between you that he's almost hanging off of the mattress.

"itadori," you snort. "it's okay. you don't have to be so far."

he flushes. "i just don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"it's fine. it's not like... anything is gonna happen," you stammer. nothing will happen, but god, you wish it would.

"right."

he shifts onto his side, an arm tucked under his head. you lay on your back, looking up at the ceiling, trying your best to ignore how his eyes are boring holes into your face. you glance over and he quickly averts his eyes, failing to play off the fact that he was staring. you reach over to turn off the lights, smiling freely in the dark.

"goodnight," you murmur sleepily, body sinking into the sheets.

itadori waits until your breathing evens next to him, wishing he could memorize the delicate way the moonlight traces your features. once he's sure you're asleep, he leans over just the slightest, gently pressing his lips against your forehead. you stir lightly, smiling in your dream.

"goodnight."

“how do you have the energy for this?” you grumble as nobara insistently pulls you along behind her. “i’m pooped.”

“we’re already more than halfway through this vacation! i gotta make sure that we make every minute count and,” she looks pointedly back at you and fushiguro over your shoulder, “that our resident lazy bums get off their asses and enjoy for once!”

“this lazy bum is tired and she wants to go home,” you groan.

“the other lazy bum concurs,” fushiguro deadpans.

“aw, come on guys!” itadori breezes past you, saddling up to the back of the line. “it’ll be fun! besides, we haven’t gone dancing in ages.”

your eyes rake up his frame, catching on the top of his loose shirt with a couple of buttons undone exposing just enough tanned skin to leave your mouth watering. you meet his eyes and quickly look away.

“i guess so,” you mumble, feeling awfully warm despite the cool temperature. “the last time we went was really fun.”

itadori smiles in triumph, before looking down to search for his id in his wallet. nobara takes his moment of distraction as a chance to whisper in your ear.

“you’re so whipped,” she giggles.

you nudge her in the side. “shut up.”

the place that nobara found was nice, a little hole-in-the-wall place recommended by a local, but bustling nonetheless. fairy lights are strung across the roof, making the ambiance glow with excitement. the bassy beat of the music from inside mixes in with the crash of the waves mere feet away, and you can’t help but tap your feet.

it has been ages since you’ve danced. even if you don’t want to admit it, you’ve been itching to let loose.

the bouncer spares your group a glance before examining your ids, and you’re whisked inside. if waiting in line was exhilarating, it’s nothing like actually stepping foot in the place. light bounces along the walls, painting them in splashes of color. there’s a paneled dancefloor in the middle framed by various tables and a bar where other patrons are mingling and sipping drinks. as vibrant as it seems, it’s cozy, and your frazzled nerves give way to a tingling anticipation.

nobara drags you over to one side of the room to grab a table, while the boys end up hovering by the bar to order some drinks. you try to search for itadori, but he’s already lost somewhere in the crowd.

within a few minutes, nobara’s got you swaying to some song on the dancefloor, the first drops of the drink you had sizzling in your veins and making your body burn with energy. you can’t help but let your hips move side to side and your hands teasingly roam your body, the addictiveness of the song guiding your limbs.

you’d always felt at least a little uncomfortable in social situations such as these, but tonight, everything just feels so right. the buzz has shaved off all of your inhibitions, and you feel like you could do anything.

you feel like you could tell him.

the thought strikes you like lightning, and before you can consider it for too long, nobara’s lacing your fingers with hers and twirling you around, making you giggle.

"aren't you gonna dance?"

itadori snaps out of his trance, dragging his gaze from where you're doing some kind of tango with nobara, the lights on the ceiling illuminating your smiling face, to an unimpressed fushiguro.

he considers laughing, because frankly that's his go-to reaction when he's caught not paying attention to something that someone has said to him, but he takes too long, mouth moving but not forming words as he looks blankly at his friend, and the moment is gone. if he laughed now, it would just be weird. so, he chooses the next most eloquent thing to do.

"huh?"

"with your girlfriend," fushiguro elaborates, figuring that itadori's just being an airhead. "aren't you gonna dance with her?"

itadori squints at him, suddenly feeling like he's the butt of a joke.

"my..." girlfriend? since when has he had a… "oh!" his focus shoots back to you. "yeah. my girlfriend."

fushiguro's eyebrow twitches, the way it always does when he starts getting irritated. he silently wonders how you and itadori expected to convince anyone with this relationship of yours when you barely remember it exists yourselves.

"yeah," he says curtly, quickly losing his patience. being a wingman is harder than he thought. "aren't you gonna go dance with her?"

"oh. yeah."

itadori gets to his feet, pausing for just a second while trying to ignore fushiguro's eyes burning holes into him as he wipes his palms on his shorts. he shoves his hands into his pockets before making his way across the dance floor to you. his fingers twitch in his pockets—probably from nerves—making the fabric ripple.

“can i steal her from you?”

nobara whips her head up, smile widening as she realizes that it’s itadori. she not-so-subtly pushes you into his arms, patting him on the back as she heads over to fushiguro.

“she’s all yours.”

itadori nods weakly, turning back to you with his lower lips tucked between his teeth, suddenly all too aware of the curve of your hips under his hands and your expectant stare burning into his. he almost keels over as your arms come up to rest on his shoulders, bringing your faces closer to each other. the tension is palpable, and he can’t help but glance down at your lips, looking so soft, so plump, so kissable—

“let’s dance,” you say breathily, the air of your words making goosebumps spread across itadori’s skin.

because he can barely think straight with the way you’re looking at him, can barely breathe at the sight of you in front of him, he can only nod eagerly.

he lets you take the lead as you rock your bodies to the thump of the song through the stereo, watching hungrily at the flesh of your neck as your roll your head. you pry his hands off of your waist before turning around and pressing your back to his chest, bringing them over your stomach.

itadori does his best to stifle a groan as you grind your ass onto him, relishing in the dull pleasure that builds in his core. a small sound escapes your lips, and you dare to grind on him a little more, and this time, he doesn’t bother trying to stay silent. a low and rumbly noise floats into your ear, and you smile sultrily. he feels like he could drown in the waves of confidence radiating off of you—you’re sucking him in like a siren, and all he can do is try not to lose his breath.

at your clear interest, he gets grabbier, hands drifting up to brush against your tits, leaving a trail of fire in their wake, before falling back down to squeeze the sides of your thighs. you shudder at his touch, leaning your head back onto him and pulling him in.

it’s like your tipsy haze is contagious, because he can feel his thoughts clouding, the sweat beading like dew on his forehead. he can practically taste the alcohol on his tongue, the way it would sit sweetly on his tastebuds if you swapped saliva, if he craned his neck just the slightest, if he—

“i want to kiss you so badly,” he murmurs, mouth moving before his brain.

you blink up at him, eyes wide, and he wants to kick himself for being so forward and so real when, of course, this whole arrangement is fake, but his worries fade when you reach for his shirt collar and yank him towards you.

“then do it.”

and then he really does taste the tang of beer or vodka or whatever the hell it is that you’d drank, the flavor subdued by the gloss on your lips, but if you ask him, he’d say that makes it all the better. he parts his lips because he wants more, more, more, and you take the invitation, deepening the kiss with drunken fervor. his hands guide you until you’ve turned around again and you’re chest to chest, bodies pressed against each other as if there’s still too much distance between you.

you drink in his breaths like they’re your own, your hearts beating in sync, the dim reminder that you’re kissing your crush blaring somewhere in the deep recesses of your hazy mind. you want even more of itadori, you want everything he’s willing to give to you—which only he knows is everything you could possibly want—and you want it now, your hands growing more insistent, your noises more needy, your breath more hitched—

“yeesh, get a room, wouldya?”

you jerk away at the sound of fushiguro’s voice as he drifts past you, face contorted in mock disgust but eyes crinkled in amusement.

nobara follows close behind him, her tongue poking out of her mouth as she wiggles her eyebrows. “might as well get some use out of that honeymoon suite, eh?”

you scoff, flipping her off as she weaves in and out of people.

“i mean, we can,” itadori says, a pink flush evident on his cheeks. you snap your head back towards him. “’get a room’, um, if you want to.”

if i want to? you almost grab itadori’s shoulders and shake him silly because of course you want to! you’ve been thinking about this exact moment for god-knows how long now! he’s so fucking stupid and you like him so much!

“definitely.” you grab his hand and maneuver yourselves through the mass of people that surround you, nearly sighing in relief when you finally spot the exit.

itadori simply lets you do as you wish, too busy looking at the back of your figure with a slack-jawed expression because you’re going to have sex with him.

you, the girl of his dreams for forever, is going to have sex with him. he’s glad that you pull him into the moonlit darkness of outside when you do, because he has an embarrassing hard-on in his pants just at the thought of you touching him.

you really don’t know the effect you have on him. you can do the slightest of things and he’ll be put in a trance.

he doesn’t even care if this is fake, if this is just you wanting to get some horny energy out of your system. he’s willing to take you in any capacity he can get, even if his feelings aren’t reciprocated.

net benefits for everyone, he supposes.

the two of you barely make it to the room—you’re a mess of lips and tongue and teeth on the elevator ride up, and his shirt has a few more buttons undone than he did at the beginning of the night by the time you get to the door. he frantically gets the keycard out of his pocket, pushing the door before it even unlocks, and you stumble inside, almost falling on top of him.

“god, you’re so—” you hum, trailing soft kisses along his neck. “i want you so bad, yuuji.”

he groans. “you sound so pretty sayin’ my name like that, fuck.”

somehow, you find yourselves on the bed, clothes half-off as you desperately pant into each other’s mouths, hands roaming unabashed across the planes and curves of each others’ bodies.

“off.” you tug at itadori’s shorts, his shirt already long gone, strewn across the floor somewhere. “off, come on.”

he shuffles out of them, not wanting to break the kiss you’ve pulled him into. the atmosphere is hot and sticky, and you swear that the scent of sex is already in the air.

“your turn,” he huffs, peeling the hem of your dress higher and higher up your stomach. “lemme see that gorgeous body, baby, please.”

you raise your arms and he shimmies the fabric off of you, throwing it to the side before immediately groping any flesh he can. his hands tremble in pleasure as you let your weight settle on him as you straddle his lap, your clothed pussy rubbing directly against the bulge in his boxers.

“ah, f-fuck,” you whisper against his lips, fingers intertwining around his neck as you bury your face in his collarbone, the pressure against your clit making you embarrassingly wet. you subconsciously drag your hips in an effort to get more friction, and itadori groans brokenly into your ear.

“d-don’t do that,” he whines. “feels good, too good.”

you unclasp your hands from their place on his neck, letting them run down itadori’s muscled chest, feeling the contortions of his abs under you. your fingers dip under the elastic of his underwear and he grabs your wrist, looking up at you, eyes piercing in the dark.

“are you sure?”

i’ve been sure about this forever, you want to say, but you settle for a breathy “yes.”

you slip the waistband down and his cock slaps his stomach, thick and pretty, drooling a bead of pre-cum that you want to taste on your tongue.

your mouth drops open. “shit,” you breathe. even the thought of him stretching you out with his girth is making your hole clench helplessly in anticipation.

“we don’t have to,” itadori insists at your hesitation, rubbing circles into the plush of your thigh with his thumb. “seriously, we don’t—”

“—prep me,” you huff in desperation. you guide his hand towards the apex of your thighs, manipulating it until the pads of his fingers are massaging the wet spot on your panties. the oxygen catches in your lungs as your eyelids flutter shut—it feels so good already. just from a couple swipes of his fingers, you’re curling in on yourself.

his eyebrows furrow in hesitation and you almost cry out. “are you—”

“please, yuuji, please. i fucking, i—fuck—i need it so fucking bad, i need you so fucking bad, just—”

you swallow your words as he drags the honeyed gusset of your panties to the side and sheathes two of his fingers inside you, the gushing wetness of your pussy making the intrusion not only bearable, but pleasurable.

his eyes are locked on the way you swallow his fingers up, a small groan of your name flowing from his mouth. “you’re taking them so well,” he half-whispers in awe. his gaze trails back up to your dewy face, greedily drinking in your dazed expression. “you’re just perfect, aren’t you?”

he scissors you open, whispering sweet nothings at every hushed moan of yours. you can’t help but dig your nails into his shoulders, his forearms, the sheets—anything you can reach, really—as he prods the spongy spot inside you.

he adds a third finger and your eyes roll back, the coil in your belly winding tight as he thrusts in and out.

“yu—yuuji,” you whine, gasping for breath. “i think ‘m gonna—gonna c-cum soon.”

a low sound reverberates from his throat as he squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to cum on the spot. “do it, baby,” he practically growls, clenching his jaw. “cum on my fingers and then i’ll make y-you cum on my cock.”

“promise?” your voice is high-pitched and cracks as he plunges his fingers impossibly deeper.

his head falls forward and he sucks on one of your tits to muffle the moan that’s ripped from his throat. “promise.”

that’s all it takes for you to fall over the edge, thighs clamping down around itadori’s wrist as you keen, every muscle in your body burning in euphoria.

“fuck, i’m—yuuji, fuck, yuuji—”

“that’s it, pretty girl,” he hums, lips pressed against the soft flesh of your breast and slowly creeping up the column of your neck. “y’look so beautiful like this, yeah? cumming on my fingers all pretty. y’look like an angel,” he babbles, mesmerized by the blissful look on your face and the way your body relaxes in his grasp. “like an angel from heaven. you’re gorgeous, baby, so—”

you shut him up by pulling him into a fiery kiss, drunk on the way he’s making you feel but hungry for so much more. your fingers thread through the damp strands of hair at the nape of his neck, other hand coming down between your bodies to wrap around his cock and leisurely stroke from tip to base, making him whimper into your mouth.

“d’you wanna fuck me?” you slur, breaking the kiss just enough to get the words out. “‘cause i want you to fuck me, i wanna feel you inside me—”

“—god, baby,” he gasps. “i need it, fuck, please. please lemme fuck you, i gotta—”

you wedge your feet underneath you and lift yourself, ignoring the burn in your knees, carefully lining up his cock with your cunt. the tip pushes in just the slightest, and itadori sighs shakily, hands gripping your hips with restrained strength.

you slowly sink down, trying to keep your breathing steady as the fat head enters you with a squelchy pop! his shaft fills you whole—every rub of a vein along your inner walls makes your nerves tingle in ecstasy—and your pussy throbs against your will.

“you’re so damn tight,” he musters, voice tight, like he’s pained. his chest heaves as he palms your tits, doing anything to distract himself from the soft sensation of you around him. “how’re you so fucking tight and wet and perfect?”

he gives a short thrust of his hips upwards and you moan, stars dancing in your vision. you all but collapse onto him, weakly holding onto his shoulders, as he jerks up again, hands roaming down your back before settling on the plump flesh of your ass.

you let him handle your body as you drop down on his cock the best you can, the sounds of skin-on-skin increasing in volume as bounce your hips to slide down his length while he pounds into you from below. the only words that either of you can manage are jumbled versions of each others' names and hushed curses, punctuated by the occasional sloppy kiss that leaves you both breathless.

itadori tucks his lower lip in with his teeth as he watches his cock move in and out of you. it's shimmering in a layer of your arousal, a ring of white settled at the base from your past orgasm. every time he bottoms out, there's the slick sound of wetness, and it sends heat through his veins whenever he hears it. the scene is so pornographic and hot that it makes his cock throb inside you.

he stares at you in reverence, his movements slowing as you continue bouncing up and down at your will, small hums and moans spilling from your permanently parted lips. your grip on his shoulders tightens as you move faster, chasing the orgasm building in your stomach in a sex-induced daze.

"baby, baby," itadori whispers, beginning to thumb at your clit, making you moan out loud. "look at you, using me so well. god, use my cock, baby. it's yours, s'all yours."

you keen as the added pressure on your clit is so good that it's borderline overwhelming. your pace falters as the muscles in your abdomen twist, the heat between your legs becoming unbearable.

"god, you're amazin'," you sob, resting your forehead against his. you cradle his cheek with your palm, almost shocking yourself at the raw tenderness of the action. you wonder if he can sense your true affections through that one touch. "i want you, i need you, forever, yuuji. for—fuck—forever, please."

"'m all yours," he replies, voice soft. "i swear it, i'm all yours." he turns his head and kisses the inside of your hand, his lips delicate against the skin. "always was and always will be, baby."

he wonders if you can sense his true affections through that one sentence.

he draws another circle on your clit and you clench hard, spiraling into another plane of pleasure. itadori moans lowly, cursing under his breath.

"so close," you gasp. "'m so—"

"—me t-too, fuck. fuck," he breathes, "'m gonna—where should i cum, fuck—baby, you gotta tell me where, 'm g-gonna—"

"—inside," you beg, eyes glossing over. "please cum inside, fill me up, yuuji, please, baby—"

"fuck."

he groans deep and low as he cums, the warmth spreading across your insides, forcing you to cum as well. you go over together, your thighs trembling over the coiled muscles of his as the air escapes your lungs. your chests move together as you inhale, the aftershocks of your orgasms rippling throughout your bodies.

exhaustion, both from the sex and the dancing, slams into you with full-force, and you sway forward. itadori braces you, shifting out of the way to lay you down on the bed.

"woah there," he starts, holding your head until it's on the pillow. "don't move, i'll get you cleaned up."

you make a garbled sound of affirmation and nuzzle into the sheets as itadori makes his way to the bathroom.

you fall asleep to the soft strokes of a wet cloth against your sensitive pussy, a gentle hand pushing your hair out of your face, and a delicate—so delicate that you're sure you're dreaming it—peck on your forehead.

you wake up surprisingly not hungover—your brain is completely lucid. you remember everything—his hands, his cock, his lips, and most importantly, his words. maybe you're just looking too far into it, but you're almost certain that your feelings aren't unrequited, if your subconscious has anything to say about it.

the first thing you notice is that the blankets next you are rumpled, leaving a person-shaped portion of sheets showing. still groggy, you sit up and pull on a sweatshirts, shivering slightly at the coolness of the room. you slip on a pair of flip flops and quietly walk to the lounge area of the room, the early rays of sunrise starting to shine through the glass.

it must be really early, judging by the tinges of pastel pink and purple in the clouds, and you consider going back to bed, sure that itadori's just off on a run or something, when you see his slippers on the floor by the couch.

your eyes trail to the glass again—one of the glass doors is slightly askew, and a set of footsteps begins from just on the other side of it, on the sand. you track it with your eyes, locking on a small figure sitting idly on the shore.

gathering your encourage, you kick off your flip flops and follow the same path, the grains of chilled sand digging into the crevices of your toes. it's still relatively cold, and you're glad you threw on a sweatshirt as a salty ocean breeze makes goosebumps spread across your legs.

silently, you approach itadori, crouching down next to him before taking a seat.

"hey."

he seems a little startled, too busy focusing on something in the horizon to realize that you were there, but he relaxes immediately when he sees that it's you.

"hey. how'd you sleep?"

heat rushes to your cheeks despite the temperature. "like a baby. thanks, um, for cleaning me and everything. you didn't have to."

it's his turn to blush, and it creeps up his cheekbones before he turns his face back towards the sea. "of course. it was nothing."

you sit quietly for a bit, the crashing of the waves and the cawing of seagulls doing enough to not make the moment awkward. to anybody else, it'd just look like a couple enjoying the morning with each other.

"listen, i—" you start.

"can i say something?" itadori asks at the same time.

you both pause, eyes wide as you look at each other expectantly.

you clear your throat. "you first."

itadori takes a deep breath before slowly releasing it. "i know that this," he waves his hand between the two of you, "thing, this relationship, was supposed to be fake and have net benefits and everything but i don't think that i can keep doing this."

he swallows, still avoiding eye contact, before continuing.

"it's not your fault or anything. it's just that, i mean," he buries his head in his hands, groaning. "i'm not making any sense. i'm just gonna straight up tell you that—"

"—i like you," you blurt.

he raises his head, looking at you speechlessly. his mouth moves without making noise and he narrows his eyes. "you... what?"

"yeah," you say a little quickly. "for a while now. since before we started like fake dating or whatever. actually," you chuckle sheepishly, looking anywhere but him, "i asked you if you wanted to, y'know, fake date or whatever because i wanted to spend time with you. that's it. i mean the sex was awesome," oh my god bitch, shut the fuck up, you think, "but that's not, like, why i wanted to do this... whole thing. so yeah," you end weakly.

"okay." you cringe at his reaction. he presses the heels of his palms to his eyes before speaking again. "okay, wait. okay. you like me?"

"mhm."

"for a while?"

"yeah."

"like you like-like me?"

"yes," you say exasperatedly. "i like-like you."

he pulls his knees in and rests his chin on them, a small pout on his lips. "but i like-like you."

you were expecting it, but it still takes you by surprise. "you do?"

"well obviously!"

"it wasn't obvious at all!"

he scoffs. "why else did you think i agreed to this fake dating thing?"

"oh."

"yeah."

"so we like each other?"

"i guess." he turns completely towards you, the realization suddenly hitting him. "we like each other."

you can't stop the smile that stretches your lips. "okay. cool."

he smiles too, a bright beam that makes you feel even warmer than the sunrise peeking over the ocean before you. "yeah, cool."

"so do you wanna date? like real date?"

"yeah," he breathes, leaning closer. "i'd like that."

he glances down at your lips quickly, but not quick enough for you to not notice. you effortlessly close the distance, sweetly pressing your lips to his.

"we're idiots," you say, when you pull back.

"maybe," he acquiesces, dropping his head on your shoulder. "but it's okay. we can be each others' idiots."

you comfortably lapse into silence, watching orange rays dance along the waves before greeting you with a new day.

"i think that this warrants a 'thank you'," nobara quips from the passenger seat, taking an obnoxiously loud sip of her coffee. she points between you and itadori, who's currently laid in your lap, dozing off. "you know. this."

"you set me up, literally," you say through gritted teeth, voice hushed as to not wake your boyfriend—you can't see yourself getting used to saying that anytime soon.

"and it worked out! no harm, no foul."

you think it over for a second, gaze softening as itadori squirms. you run your fingers gently through his hair, nails scratching lightly at his scalp. "thank you."

"never mind," she fake retches. "i already regret this."

you laugh, wanting to torture her more. "what do you think a better nickname is, nobara? pookiebear or honeybear?"

"please stop talking to me."

"hm, maybe honey-pookiebear?"

she punches fushiguro in the arm, who gives her a dirty look.

"don't hit me, i'm driving."

she makes an offended noise. "doesn't their lovey-dovey-ness get to you?"

"i usually tune them both out, so this isn't any different."

"hey!" you protest. "fuck you! honey-pookiebear and i are very hurt right now!"

nobara tugs insistently at his sleeve. "please teach me how to tune them out," she begs. "i'll do anything."

the car runs over a pothole, making the entire vehicle shake. itadori awakens with a grumble, rotating his body until he's looking up at you.

"hi baby," he mumbles.

"fushiguro,” she says more urgently. “i'll pay you if i have to," nobara hisses.

"hi," you reply, bending down to kiss him on the nose. "do you like pookiebear or honeybear better?"

his sleepy expression morphs to confusion, because neither of you like stupid nicknames, but you gesture to nobara and he nods in understanding, smiling mischievously.

"how about honey-pookiebear?"

nobara groans dramatically, this time accompanied by a poorly-disguised eyeroll from fushiguro. "you guys are perfect for each other," she snarks. "you’re both gross and irritating."

"it's your fault they're together," fushiguro points out.

she slumps in her seat, trying her best to look angry but only appearing satisfied. she brings her coffee cup to her lips to hide her smile. "whatever."

if you enjoyed, reblogs + comments are appreciated!

#itadori smut #itadori x reader #itadori x you #itadori x y/n #itadori #itadori yuuji smut #itadori yuuji x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #trope trove collab #kinky.inky #tw.voyeurism #tw.dubcon

2K notes · View notes

loneworldgazer · 4 years ago

Text

what if you were their personal helper?

a/n: im biased on all of these because basically you're special to them in a type of way

part 2

warnings: chapter 189-206 spoilers‼‼, suggestive, violence mentions

sanzu

you would be his personal cook that mikey assigned

you really worked hard at making the best dishes for sanzu (1. 50/50 chance of getting killed because you might never know with his pill popping ass and 2. you don't want to purposely mess up good ingredients)

sanzu though, really loves your dishes

he would say horrendous compliments like how he was about to have an orgasm biting into the steak minutes ago (rindou looks up at him from his laptop in disgust while ran scoffs in amusement)

ran suggested to maybe gift you something or pay a visit to whoever is cooking his meals and damn well sanzu was thrilled to hear that idea and was ready to work on it

(the haitani brothers thought the same, that you were probably going to shit your pants if bonten's number 2 suddenly appeared right beside you out of nowhere)

the very next day, his preffered time of lunch was much more later than the others so it's pretty normal for the others to not see him at the table and knowing that he's doing his own business

but this is completely different than what he usually does, he's looking for you! and there you were, in the flesh and busy preparing his meal

you look rather panicked, oh how many guesses he had. it was near his lunch time, you cooked the wrong meal, you're panicking about the slighest things or you thought you were doing it wrong

turns out you just wanted to cut the right size of tomatoes because you cut one ridiculously large chunk so you huffed and picked another tomato and nearly laughed at your stupidity

well sanzu was correct in some ways but you were just minutes away in finishing so he watched

with every second he stepped closer and the closer he got which was just right over your shoulder, you squeled because 1) creepy and 2) his breath was tickling your neck that you just had to make noise

you grabbed your wrist and your finger bled, in the state of suprise you accidently cut your thumb, luckily it was only a little so you rushed to the sink to wash it off

sanzu had a smile on his face, oh woops accidently shocked a poor person by breathing on them so the best he could do was offering a bandaid that was in his pocket

you glanced at his arm and saw the bonten tattoo inked on it so your eyes lit up in fear in why a bonten member is up infront of you

you gulped and he couldn't help but giggle to how terrified you looked and he twirled the plate that his food on it

"you're almost finished with my food, huh? quickly, you have a few seconds" you looked at him again but with genuine curiousity and suprise that said "sanzu haruchiyo? what is he doing here?"

your thoughts swirled in your head in chaos, finishing up his food and the waiter that were to take his food entered the kitchen

he froze in the doorway, recognizing the feared bonten 2 and sanzu asked him to go away by simply motioning it with his hand as well as adding in a "if you don't go, i'll kill you" by doing a slashing motion across his neck, you did not know how fast the waiter walked out of there

sanzu carried his plate towards the table your partners and you ate at and sat there, tilting his head when you stayed at the same spot

"sit here, i wanna talk" shitting your pants is a understatement, dying should be the right term

but no worries when you sat down, he smiled again with his eyes closed (though you're not sure what kind of smile was this, his rare ones? because if it is then you can make it out of here without being out in a grave)

let's just say he was interested in you and he said quite some nice words to you, this won't be the first time he'll crash into your life and have moments of talking to you after all, you're his cook right?

you're just lucky enough when he decides that you're one of the few pieces he'll cherish in his life, one he wouldn't kill but respect deeply and stick around with

kokonoi

you were his respectable assistant that deals with errands, well a more better term is a spy

you listened to conversations about bonten in the dark and sneak off to inform the others, first of all koko of course

your relationship between him was proffesional and all, reporting about what bonten enemies have said, nod and leave

but there was a time where he finally got to know you a bit better

you were a bit later than the time he asked for you to come to his office after your work, about 10 minutes atleast and he raised his eyebrow at you when you slipped into his office out of breath but quickly regain it as to not piss him off any further

"sorry sir, i got attacked" attacked you say? he got up from his seat, slowly approacing you and you sweat

overall his demeanor was cocky and all but you've never seen a scary side so supposingly it's okay for you to not feel threatened but would he really be angry at you for getting attacked?

"i don't see any bruises on you, did you really get attacked?" that sly grin showcased itself, he felt the taste of a lie coming but it didn't when you spoke up again

"i fought back sir, with this." you pulled out the staff, pressing the button to open it and twirled it over for him to see

it was the staff he gave, well actually showed off when he opened the weapons room, telling you to atleast get a weapon to defend yourself, if you can even though (he halfly joked at the end with his tongue out)

you told him that it was the gang that was still gaining these "leaks and secrets" or so to speak, are the ones rindou falsely put out in the open and the gang planned to go to one of the secret bases that bonten usually went to

besides what you say is necessary information but he circled around you in silence and decided to try to hit your head but you smack his hand away with the staff

he went for your neck but you swiftly wack the staff into his waist and he groaned, impressed

he was about to say something but sanzu interrupted by opening the door without knocking and almost bumped koko with the door

"heheh sorry, can i borrow your assistant, come come~" sanzu sung out but koko shooed him away, wanting some time to talk to you but pink crazed bastard wanted to talk to you so he shut the door on him and yelled at him to go away for a moment

after that day, more people seem to recognize and fought with you

it would pretty ironic if koko were to be the one ordering them to attack you

" i wanna see you fight more" whatever he says, you just hope it actually isn't him sending mofos to attack you because that would be a d!ck move

but he didn't, one of the bonten members revealed that a little spy is watching them from above like the idiots they were that they bumbled out their secrets for the spy to hear (guess who)

so he rewards you, after the hell you went through, you better be gifted

extra!!:

"may i measure you?" you looked back at the person in shock as they smiled warmly at you and you suspiciously glared at them, reaching slowly for your staff.

"sir kokonoi has asked to measure you." they went to stretch out the measuring tape and held it around your waist, you hesitated on holding up your shirt because of how ticklish and feathery their fingers were. this was all too sudden but you go along with it.

while you twist your shirt up, they placed a note in your back pocket and you questioned on why did they do that, you reached it while they're measuring your legs.

"i'll send someone in to measure your size for your clothing, do you also want lingerie to be part of your gift too?~" the note said and you nearly stumbled into the tailor when you tried rereading it all over again.

"what colour do you want? do you want a matching set?" "no!!"

(koko's probably pissing himself right now, trying to imagine your panicky expression, laughing like a maniac in his office)

ran

you worked as his personal maid and he admired how careful you were

you were pretty noticeable since you took your time on one thing at a time like dusting off shelves and cupboards for a long moment or scrubbing away at the dirt in the plate that stuck too long there (i mean it's reasonable but you stressed over it for a few minutes)

he approached at some times to check on you and he would smile sadistically at times when you look at him like a deer in headlights, wondering what you did wrong to make him approach you himself

he just wanted to praise and point out some of your habits which you rubbed your neck to and nodded to do better next time

it also gave him a chance to see your stretched arm and your hands, especially your knuckles more better than afar (not in a creepy way)

your knuckles were deep red and would have cuts over it and he would leave at that but it got too much for him whenever he came to you and it kept getting worse

he popped the question when you moved his flowers into a pot to sit in the sun when your hands were all bandaged up

"why has the condition of your hands worsen everytime i come to you?" so he did notice, you sighed and told him the truth while you rubbed your bandaged knuckles

"people are picking on me so hitting their faces makes my knuckles hurt and become ugly each time i return back here" he was suprised that you even used your fists and he held your hands and spoke softly

"you didn't use the baton i gave you?" you feel yourself burn, you had to pull away from him and you wanted to jog off into the sun but you akwardly shrugged instead

"i'm a lot more used to using fists to fight plus i.. might have hit my face with the baton once" his laugh was sugary sweet, the rarest you've ever heard but he was laughing at your mistake so you bit your tongue and fumed, going back to arranging his flowers (that he's probably allergic to but keeps them around cause they're pretty💀)

he patted your shoulder, casually correcting himself that it was cute that atleast you did try to use the baton that he lended to you

"i'll teach you, every evening at around 4, i'll train you to use the baton so it's less work for your fists and more for your baton." you responded that mikey had his meal around that time and you had to clean the table cloth after he eats, shyly you admit that he tends to be a little messy when eating

ran smiled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and going off after insulting you one last time

"i'm impressed that you're more careful with the table cloth than your own hands" and that ends the evening with you screaming into your hands because of how frustating, ran haitani bonten executive was

extra!!:

"now i really need you to be honest with me, how do you even fight with your fists?" "your brother teaches me how to break their limbs but i accidently graze the floor sometimes because of how tough the enemy is"

well that was pretty shocking, he looks at you with suprise in his eyes, you also looked at him suprised, you just didn't know how expressive he was and you're finding out about them because of these 4pm sessions.

"doesn't he have a maid that helps him out?" "he says i make great coffee" ran grumbled that you shouldn't even serve a fucker who drinks coffee in the first place and you couldn't help laughing. in exchange for the love of coffee, rindou might as well train you. he's not blind, he sees the bruises on your hands when you return back to the headquarters.

(and to maybe trigger ran a little since he was the one mainly teaching reader his fighting style and not ran and his lame ass baton and he just stole his maid for a few seconds, might as well train them as a reward)

"show me a better compliment and i might stop serving him" "you're good with your hands" you smirked and got up and tapped his shoulders with the baton, teasing him into giving you more compliments

"shut it now before i use my hands to shut you up" "you may at anytime" and he did, now you can imagine what he did lol

694 notes · View notes

yostresswritinggirl · 4 years ago

Text

Genshin Boys would be Horrible as Disney Princes

Headcanon and Reader Perspective, Drabble

Sojourner Special (Followers Event)

Despite being the gentleman and sweethearts that they are, in the wrong hands, of badly aligned context and universal rules these boys can barely function as princes given their own ideals.

Diluc in Cinderella

Shortest one, oops.

Our Diluc would honestly be too busy for balls if we're doing this canonically, night time of all times. He's not your prince tonight, he's off somewhere doing Knight stuff...

If by chance you did catch him in the ball and he did indulge you with your dance until you escapaded at midnight, he's not gonna question it.

And since he didn't even REMEMBER your face, the next day just goes on as usual. No decree for searching the whole land for your foot or anything, it's just a normal day after a party.

"They left without a word, no name or promise, who am I to say no when they clearly don't want to stay?"

He's a gentleman. Too gentlemanly...

Childe in Sleeping Beauty

In this scenario, Childe embraces his knight-ness more than the princely aspect. I mean sure, he danced with you in the forest all so lovingly, sang along to your pretty lil voice. But when the prophecy came, his focus changed—

To the thrill of fighting a big ass green fire breathing dragon! Big woah, Childe had soooo much fun fighting it that he didn't even cheese it.

He lived for every hour of the fight and made it as slow as possible. Taunting, playing with his PREY- mid-fight the dragon would realize just how strong and horrifying Prince Childe is, but the entertainment had started, and the dance won't end until Childe wills it.

When he DID finally slay the damned thing, he'll come up to your quarters and stare at your sleeping body, and then think "Hey, if them being put under this spell gave me the fight of the century? What if ANOTHER dragon comes? That would be amazing!" No waking up for you, or the whole city for that matter.

Albedo in Frog Princess

You... You don't even get the chance to be the frog princess in here... simply because he himself REFUSES to change back to normal. You have never met a man so intelligent, much more a frog.

"I know of which you are not, I won't be fooled by cardboard crowns and secondhand dresses," you choke as he berates every fiber of your being, "It matters not, I still have much to learn about the life of an amphibian."

He disappears after that and you've never heard from him ever again, although at the back of your mind you're pretty sure he's a live and well, that bastard is too smart to end up as roadkill.

And well, you're right, he's out there in the world of frogs doing frog things. Triumphant over frog science and the other talking creatures he may meet.

He'll also find a way to revert himself back to normal, either making his own cure or just enlisting the help of a princess to bargain.

He might come to you upon the logic of marriage counting you as princess, but don't get too hyped, you won't be treated as his wife. He'd be too busy putting his frog research into paper...

Zhongli in Beauty and the Beast

A beast he may be, he's still dignified and elegant, upholding his end of the bargain so long as the other does the same.

Your father may have trespassed and have taken some flowers in his domain but well, really it's such a petty crime that can easily be solvable. And even if there needs to be punishment incured...

When you stumble to the mansion in search of your father, ready to take his place from his jail cell, you find him and the beast (ohh half-dragon Zhongles) by an elegant table drinking cups of tea with light conversation. Huh?

"There is no need to fret, your father and I are just discussing the terms of our contract. He spoke of his woodworks that I wish to commission in exchange, such good potential should not be wasted."

You can also, well, pay off things within contract? But either way, it would be hella awakward, he won't impose on your life and most certainly not about the curse when you had so much to live for.

Kaeya in Rapunzel

Little bitch, thru and thru. If Eugene is such a criminal, he's taking it TENFOLD.

He's not even gonna be the slightest bit trustworthy for you, little Rapunzel, because he raises so many red flags your frying pan wouldn't even be enough to threaten him. He probably has a really thick skull, and your resolve won't be able to smack that pretty face.

Bargaining won't work, he'd sleight of hand his way out and get the crown knowing you'd hid it in the pot immediately, and then just backflip outta there.

If you manage to get him to get you out, he's not gonna be of help either. Kaeya would be amused with toying with you, leaving you in the dark as you get scared shitless/dance around with some tavern criminals. Otherwise, ehh...

One way or another, he's gonna find a way to get you off his case. Either forcing you to travel with companions that's headed to the city anyways or forcefully knocking you out and heaving you back to your tower.

"You have a mother that never ages lock you up in this tower? Nu uh, sweetie, I'm not dealing with the dark forces of witchery when I'm already well off with the crown."

He got the crown.

Venti in Snow White

I'm sorry what? Free apples? Eternal sleep in a beautiful bed? He's gonna be glad to just take your place. (Spoilers, he would)

He'd be most definitely entertained with your dwarves, playing his tunes. You life would be filled with his lyre as he plays around, not even caring about the other implications of yours or his status in this woodland forest.

You ran away from home? Cool, freedom, man. Wish he could the same without jeopardizing the kingdom and his family. He'd probably take the apple too just for you~

During your rest, he'll come up with the most eloquent song to play for your seven dwarves as he watches your fate sadly. How peaceful you looked, away from the world and from the grips of death.

The dwarves would force him to please try and break the spell, and he'll shrug and indulge- except it didn't break the spell, as he expected it to be. And they are clueless on who else you had encountered in your life to even spare a true love's kiss.

"How saddening, the princess lays. Maddening to those around as they'd say, if only my kiss was enough for the curse to sway." You died, ouch.

Xiao in Mulan

Brutal. Brutal. Brutal. His voicelines would come in sooooo handy here, oh my goodness.

If you miraculously bypassed his analytical gaze enough to hide your sexuality, you're going to die in his training program. He's not gonna go easy on you, not when the fate of the nation lies upon your capability to keep up. You're gonna go through far worse than what true Mulan went through, and you may or may not just die in the process.

If by chance you survived, this would warrant enough respect to not kill you (oh, you lived) but you better not show up again.

He's never gonna be delighted to see your traitorous face again, he can save China on his own, thank you very much. And you know he can. Try and approach him, and a sword would be at your neck once again.

"Foolish gremlin, you think you had the right to present yourself after the treason you willfully committed? We won't crumble at the loss of one person, your job here is done." How sad.

Cyno in Little Mermaid

First of all, wack, mermaids exist! Sadly, that's nothing new for him. He knows a lot with that intelligent mind of his, so it would be no surprise that the existence of such mythical creatures doesn't make him bat an eyelash. He's been living near water, he's not that stupid.

With that in mind, your presence in your first meeting is going to be bad. Very bad. Cyno knows about sirens and he's not at all gonna fall for it, and if by chance he had known you before the ship was wrecked, he's probably gonna be veryyy keen in capturing you instead.

So if by chance you're stupid enough to interact with him and DESIRE to be on land with him, you're gonna deal with a lot of problems.

You're not getting that kiss easily. No, it's a huge challenge. He'd be repulsed in your naivety and will most likely be more concerned on your voice than ever. He'd be so kind to try and give a shot in helping with the cure but it's not the cure you needed.

He'll drown himself in every literature in full concentration just to see if there's any text he can find about curses and muteness. His curiousity would get the best of him, and you'll barely see him after you managed to explain your predicament without the need for words. Octopus woman doesn't even need to show up to intervene.

"A kiss? Surely not, such ailment won't be cured by fairytale methods." And then he goes back to his library once again. And you will be seafoam the next sunrise. Or was it sunset?

"So now that we've established these grounds," Exiled turns to the other two in the area, "Maybe, these boys would be better off as princesses."

And so the trio concocts a new type of fairytale, collaborated to masterpieces soon after.

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @struggljng @ellitx @kookieyachi @dandelion-dreams

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #cyno x reader #albedo x reader #venti x reader #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #xiao x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #exile.flower #exile.circlet #disney genshin #ajajjajajaja #this was made on impulse #sojourner special

2K notes · View notes

tharros-auris-black-asimi · 3 years ago

Text

Cruel Summer (Chapter 5)

Pairing: Alpha Steve Rogers x Omega Female Reader

Summary: It's a normal day for Alpha Steven Grant Rogers.

Well, if you don't count the fact that his childhood friend and best pal James Buchanan Barnes is currently on trial for his crimes as the Winter Soldier. Paired with his responsibilities as an Avenger, there's a lot on his plate.

Until he meets you by chance in an elevator.

You're just trying to figure this new world out after being frozen for forty years. You're hoping for a fresh new start. A new normal.

And then you meet Steve.

Life can't get worse... right?

Chapter Warnings: Omega Heats, mentions of fertility issues, and court cases

Additional Notes: Hello everyone! Apologies for the delay in updating this fic. Life got in the way, and I was bouncing around with other updates. But, I'm back updating this fic regularly. This is gonna be a double update.

Also, I am not a political science major, and I'm not a law student either. So any inaccuracies about Bucky's court cases are my fault.

As always, you can read this chapter on my AO3 here.

Word Count: 5875

Later that week…

You woke up suddenly.

You had no recollection of why you had woken up in the first place. Your hand shot out of your blankets, frantically patting your bedside table, searching wildly for your phone.

“… It’s only three in the morning. Go back to sleep.” A familiar deep voice that sounded remarkably like a man spoke out into the darkness.

Turning over to your side, you felt a really thick bicep against the side of your face. A familiar scent of wood and black pepper filled your nose.

Steve.

Oh! Right. Steve was having his annual sleepover at your apartment.

… Wait, only three in the morning? Why the hell had you woken up at three AM? It was far too early! Was your sleeping schedule being whack again?

Was that it?

“You’re still awake?” Your voice sounded a little groggy. “Uh-huh,” Steve replied back to you, much to your confusion. “Why?” you asked him.

“Supersoldier serum, remember? I don’t need sleep.” he reminded you. The realization showed on your face. “Oh... right.” You turned over onto your side completely, so you could be facing him.

“… Just making sure… what day is it?” You asked him.

“Friday,” Steve answered you. You began to nod off, slumping your face into his bicep. Satisfied with his answer.

“You know…” your voice was drifting away, “I don’t think my heats are matching up anymore…”

The golden-haired Alpha blinked in confusion. “What do you mean, your heats aren’t matching up anymore?” He sounded bewildered.

But you had already quickly had dozed off back to sleep. Your arms were draped across Steve’s broad chest, and your legs had wrapped themselves around his thick thighs. You were happily perched in your position. So, Steve wasn’t looking forward to shaking you awake from your clearly comfortable slumber, to try and ask about why your heats weren’t matching up. Why your cycles were wack.

So Steve just let you sleep. The two of you would talk about it later in the day.

Later, when Steve managed to find you during lunch, you had been sitting with your cousin, happily eating your way into a bowl of pre-made spam and garlic fried rice, with a lot of chili flakes in it, obviously.

Deep into your bowl of goodness, you barely recognized the spicy, woody scent that was making waves toward you. The only thing that snapped you out of your thoughts was your cousin smacking you on your bicep, to which you cried out.

“Ow! What the hell?” You hissed at her. Your cousin just nudged you into Steve’s incoming attention.

Your Omega perched up all of a sudden, overjoyed to see her Alpha, despite Steve’s sleepover in your apartment.

Needy hoe.

“I have someplace to be. I’ll tell James you said hello Captain Rogers,” your cousin excused herself from the table, much to your dismay. You gave her pleading looks, but she paid you no mind, probably too gleeful to see her beau in the County Jail or something.

Then again, you supposed that she had to juggle her work life and seeing her hot assassin boyfriend on the side. She had to make time for Yasha somehow.

Steve filled up the seat that your cousin left vacated. “You told me something this morning,” he informed you lightly. To which, you cocked your head to the side in consideration. “Uh-huh,” you responded as you took another spoonful of fried rice in your mouth. “What did I say?”

Chew. Chew. Chew.

Munch. Munch. Munch.

Lowering his voice so only you could hear. “You told me your heats weren’t regular anymore.”

It was a good thing that you weren’t eating because then, your grip on your spoon tightened considerably. Your mouth suddenly became a thin line.

“When did this start?” Steve asked you, deciding to start to break the ice. Putting your spoon down, it didn’t make any noise. You even sat up a little straighter on the seat.

“After Hydra. After Yasha snuck us out. My cousin… he’s always been sweet on her. After Hydra discovered her electricity powers, she became his engineer. Y’know, for his arm? I always thought she became an engineer because of him. Clint and Natasha met us at the rendezvous spot and they took us to their warehouse. Once Natasha tracked our families down and took us home, everything was fine. But our heats… they were almost nonexistent. They weren’t… happening. No one knew why. Once I got to medical school, I realized why we weren’t getting them.”

“Why?”

You took a sip of your beverage. “I chalked it down to trauma. A coping mechanism. At first, while my cousin and I were with Hydra, they did the same thing. Whenever our heats would come, they would freeze us. Then, they would take us out. They wanted us to be feral. Angrier. Wilder. After a while though, our heats stopped and they had to find other ways to torture us. My cousin was given to Yasha, and I was stuck in a frigging tank. It’s why I don’t like water. Swimming, snorkeling, you name it— I probably hate it.”

Nods came from Steve. “I’ll keep that in mind if Tony decides to take us to a swimming resort. If you don’t swim, do you like to sunbathe?” he asked you.

“Oh yes.” This time, you were the one nodding. “I do like to sunbathe. Or read a book. I usually carry a book with me if Tony were to drag us to a beach resort. He likes to spring on random vacations on us whenever we least expect it.”

“Let’s hope he doesn’t do that in the near future,” Steve remarked. “He probably will,” you replied with a shrug.

You were probably right. If Steve knew anything about his friend, his teammate, Tony Stark was so impulsive sometimes that yes, he would probably spring on a random, out-of-the-blue vacation for his employees. He did that once when he took some people to Japan suddenly. It had been a straight month of going to spas, ramen shops, and doing the usual tourist things. Steve hadn’t gone to it, due to his mission, but from what Natasha had told him, it had been a spectacular time.

Maybe he’d tag along to the next vacation?

It was certainly something to think about.

“So… why do you think you’re getting them now?” Steve had gotten back on track. This time, you were truly stumped.

For the first time in your life, you were truly stumped.

“I… I don’t know,” you admitted. “Maybe it has something to do with our bond? I mean… I know it’s new. It’s fresh.”

“It’s a possibility.” Steve hummed in response. At the foremention of your new Bond, your hand went straight for your gland, your fingertips brushing against his bite. It was still there. Granted, it was still deep, but you didn’t mind.

Still thinking of answers to your sudden heat, Steve asked you. “So what do you usually… do? For your heats? Like back home?”

It had you blinking. And then you were looking at Steve with curiosity in your eyes. It made your eyes gleam.

“Back home? Like… in Michigan?”

“No, no.” Steve corrected you. “Like… before that.”

Oh.

Oh!

“Oh… you mean back in Laos?” At Steve’s nod, you continued to think about it. “Well, to be honest with you, I lived in a village. We lived near a mountain. Whenever my heat would act up, we’d always have to go far away. Like, away, away. It would always be this secluded area… they’d give me stuff. Food, water, blankets. I don’t think I ever got toys, though. Because we were poor. So… I had to suffer through them.”

Upon Steve’s silence, you continued on. “But after coming to the States, and then the whole Hydra thing… they just… stopped. I haven’t had them for years. So for this to happen is… strange.”

The endless loud chatter of everyone else in the cafeteria drowned out the look of sadness on your face.

Your Heats were something that was always going to stick by you. You weren’t like Steve, whose Alpha was awake and who always had his Ruts. Deep down in the grapevine, you had heard hushed rumors about how Steve furred himself away from everyone else during his Ruts.

Deep down, that inner part of your designation felt empty. Like there was something missing.

You knew what it was now.

Bearing pups. Being an Omega and being a doctor or a nurse weren’t uncommon occupations. It was in your designation to nurture, to care for. Not necessarily to provide, like Alphas. Omegas were supposed to be caring. So to not have your Heats… it felt like you just weren’t enough. Like you weren’t being the best Omega in the whole wide world.

And you’d never tell anyone— but it hurt like a bitch.

Especially in this moment.

Looking at Steve’s pitying expression just made you want to scream.

That look of pity in his eyes was something you didn’t want. You didn’t want him to feel sorry for you. You were sick and tired of people feeling sorry for you. Sorry for what had happened to you. What you had become.

“Don’t feel sorry for me,” were the words that came out of your mouth. “I don’t… I don’t like it when people just… look at me. I’ve been seeing those looks for so many years.”

Steve could understand.

He knew how it felt. To see so many pitying eyes and pity words thrown at you. Eventually, he got sick of it after a while.

Steve knew that there was no place for him back in the past. If he could be able to figure out a way to time-travel back to the forties and live his life like how he had wanted to back during the war, he wouldn’t do it.

Why would he go back to a time when women couldn’t vote? Have access to abortion? A time where Black people couldn’t vote, or even drink at the same water fountain like someone who looked like him? Why? Why would he do something as stupid or outrageous as that?

It sounded so weird and far-fetched in his opinion.

Even before, when they had first taken him out of the ice, he still hadn’t thought about going back to the past. Of course, he mourned over all he had lost. His friends, his brothers-in-arms that he had fought alongside in the war were either gone or in their old age.

What followed after that, in those four years before he had been put to lead the Avengers was a period of trying to find himself again. Learn about this new era and how it worked. He adjusted. He saw things he had never seen before.

Like cellphones. He had never seen those before.

But getting back on track.

“I’m not saying that because I pity you, doll.”

Up an eyebrow went.

You couldn’t help yourself.

You were skeptical. So, you didn’t say anything and waited for Steve to say something else next.

“It’s terrible what Hydra did to you. You should never feel like you’re lesser because you don’t have your usual cycles anymore. But, I am still very happy to see your Omega is still up and about. And because your cycles are coming back, I hope we can explore it together.”

Wait…

Huh?

A funny expression was on your face.

You? Sharing your heat with Steve?

You hadn’t had your heats for years! Steve was probably a seasoned pro when it came to his ruts!

What if you hurt him by accident? What if you bit him too hard? What if you got too excited? What if your Omega got too excited and caused an accident and Steve ended up in the ICU?

All of these thoughts were polluting your mind as you stared at him blankly.

“… You’re serious?” Were the only words that came out of your mouth.

“Of course,” Steve nodded. Completely and utterly serious. You internally dubbed the serious look on his face his “Captain” face.

Needless to say, you and your Omega were totally digging that look.

Totally.

“Aren’t you afraid that I might hurt you?” The tone of your voice was testy. Unsure. Veering on the rocks.

“No.” Steve’s response was causal. “Why not?” You shot back at him.

“Supersoldier, remember? Even if you throw me around like a football, I won’t die. I’ll live. You can be as rough as you like.” He assured you.

“Don’t give me any ideas,” you threatened him.

Steve just chuckled.

Later that day, in the mid-afternoon…

Everything hit a stalemate when you had entered your office.

Once you entered your office and closed the door behind you, making sure to lock it— you felt it.

Slick.

Slick trickling down your thighs in a rush.

It made you panic.

It made you grab for your phone in your pocket.

Hastily unlocking your iPhone with your thumb, you pulled up your messages with Steve.

You: Omg I think it’s coming

You: I think my heat’s coming

You: I felt the slick

You: I’ll keep you updated as the minutes come by

Steve had been in the gym. In his own secluded spot with his own personal equipment. Beads of sweat had been rolling down his face when he had heard his phone ping in his bag.

It had certainly caught his attention. Putting down the dumbbells with a loud thud, he strolled over to his bag, unlocking his phone with his thumb. Clicking on his messages and tapping his phone to look at his conversation with you, he saw it.

He had nearly dropped his phone in surprise.

However, he remained his composure. Reading your messages, he pondered over what he would say.

And then he started to type.

Steve: Okay. Do you want me to meet you?

As soon as his message was delivered, you read it immediately. Steve saw those three grey dots popping up.

You: If you wanna

You: I’m in my office

You: Where are u???

His fingers flew across the keyboard as he started to put away his things. Back in their proper places.

Steve: I’m in the gym. I’ll be there in twenty.

Twenty-ish minutes later, there was a knock on your door.

You had begun to sweat profusely during that time period.

You were also pretty certain that your scent was beginning to pollute your office, hence the door stopper you had slid underneath the crack of your door.

Slowly clamoring back on your feet, you slowly made your way to the door. Eventually, you got there. Unlocking your door, you gently pulled it back.

Steve was revealed on the other side, in his Stealth Suit. You could still see some of the sweat that had gathered on his eyebrows.

“It smells in here, just FYI.” You warned your Mate. Wanting him to know what he was up against. “I can handle it,” was Steve’s response. Shrugging to yourself, you pulled your door all the way back.

Your scent hit him like a ton of bricks.

God, you smelled delectable.

You smelled so fucking good.

If Steve had been in a rut, he would have fully jumped you and nearly knotted you right then and there. Regardless if anyone was out there in the halls or not. He didn’t care. He didn’t give two shits.

Never had he even been so jealous and aching to be in a rut more than in this moment.

You smelled like a meadow and all Steve’s Alpha wanted to do was fall and roll around in it. Hastily getting inside, you quickly locked the door in your frenzied state. He could see how wide your eyes were, your pupils looking almost dilated.

“I need… I need to do so many things…” your haste mutters made him worried. You were pacing around in a frenzy, taking in deep breaths as your brain frantically fired at you, reminding you that yes, even though you were an Omega in heat, you still needed to do shit. You still had shit to do. You were still a semi-functioning member of society.

Steve was having none of it.

Absolutely none of it.

Quite frankly, he was considering himself to be kinda sick and tired of your shit. He tried to get your attention by speaking your name at first for the first few tries, but you didn’t answer him. Your mind too preoccupied with the endless thoughts swarming in your head.

You had shit to do. People to see. You still had to check up on a recent patient too.

So many things to do.

So so so many things.

Sometimes, you really just wanted to lay in bed and never get out of your apartment.

“Omega!”

You stopped.

You froze like a deer in headlights. Right in your tracks. You only stared at your Alpha, mouth agape and eyes wide.

Your Omega, on the other hand, was absolutely delighted. Enthralled. Thrilled by the harsh look of her Alpha. Giddily, you saw her lay on her back, raising her neck up for her Alpha in glee.

It was official.

You had a horny whore for an Omega.

Your designation was going to officially drive you nuts.

“You don’t need to do anything, okay?” Steve grounded at you. “Just call Cho and tell her you’re going on Heat Leave. I’m pretty sure there’s someone else who can take your spot. Okay?” he told you.

Even though you were sweating like you were in a freaking sauna, and your slick. Oh dear lord, your slick was dripping. You still could grasp his words.

“O-Okay,” you stammered out. Remembering that your phone was in the back pocket of your scrubs, you quickly pulled it out and texted Cho.

You: my heat started. can u sign me off for heat leave???

You: and ask laurie to cover for me??? pls???

Then, without waiting for an answer back, tossed your phone back into your pants. “I really need to get out of here or else I’m gonna leak. We’re both gonna have to jump ship. Like right now. I need to go to my apartment before I rip this office apart.”

Unfortunately for you, you had not gone to your apartment. Steve had convinced you, in your truly unruly state, that going to your apartment would take too long. Your smell had started to slowly protrude the place, so you had decided to slather some scent blockers on your gland before you left the office. Effectively masking your reeking scent.

All the while the slick running down your legs was making it more and more unbearable. You felt so freaking hot, that you were pretty sure that you were going to blow a fuse.

You weren’t kidding about jumping ship. Oh no, you had not. You had been one-hundred percent completely serious.

Instead of going to your apartment, Steve had taken both of you to his room in the Avengers Compound.

In a way, your Alpha was right.

His room was closer. Plus, it meant you didn’t have to go anywhere. You could stay in the Compound, where you were safe. Tony Stark had tip-top security, after all.

Upon noticing his door, you might have frowned a little.

You could smell wisps of Steve’s lingering scent. You could smell that spicy and musky smell. It certainly pleased your inner Omega. You could feel more and more slick dripping down your legs as your inner designation realized that she was in her Alpha’s safe place.

Alpha’s place. Must make nest. A good place to nurture our pups.

Your inner Omega’s crooning probably would have taken you over and lulled you into a false sense of security. You felt so light-headed. Like you were dizzy. Especially with the amount of slick going down your legs.

Oh yes, you did.

You so did.

Deep in your fuzzy haze though, you knew that Steve wasn’t in his Rut. You knew you weren’t getting pups any time soon.

Opening the door for you, Steve watched as you wobbled in. Standing in the middle of his room, you took in a shaky breath.

Softly closing the door behind you, Steve ushered you to his bed. Grabbing a shirt from his hamper that had his dirty clothes in it, he handed it over to you. Almost immediately on impulse, you rubbed it against your face. Deeply inhaling his scent, your thighs nearly quivered in need.

Steve should have received a fucking gold medal in his self-control. Your scent was making him so fucking hard. His Alpha was urging him to just pin you down and make you feel better.

Omega needs us. Must satiate Omega.

Unfortunately for him, Steve had more pressing matters to attend to.

Buck.

Even though it was about two hours before the jury would give their verdict, he still wanted to be there for his best pal.

“Get on the bed,” he told you gently. Through that thick haze, you managed to grasp his words. Following his instructions, you got on the bed of fluffy blankets. The urge to just make a nest was growing strong.

You were still sweating. Still shaking. Your scent coming off of you in waves. With every breath you took, Steve could see your nipples through your fabric even further. His Alpha was growing agitated, seeing the way you curled yourself up into a ball.

Gently rocking yourself back and forth because the cramps were hitting in, you couldn’t help the whine that escaped you. Even choking back a sob.

“Please.”

Never had your voice ever sounded this needy before. Like ever. Sucking in a deep breath, you tried to fight off the incoming headache that you knew was going to come.

All the while your cunt throbbed in need. Your Omega wailing for your Alpha’s knot.

But you knew Steve wasn’t in his Rut. He wasn’t. And it wasn’t like you were wanting pups any time soon.

Steve knew that he needed to change out of his Stealth Suit. He needed to shower. He needed to get to the courthouse on time.

“I need to shower,” Steve responded back to you. Clenching through your teeth, because you somehow still had some bits of your sanity still. “Shit, the verdict…” you groaned.

“Will you tell my cousin I can’t go? Cause of my Heat?”

“Yeah,” he assured you. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell her.”

“Oh… good…” you sighed. Before your face scrunched up in pain, due to yet another cramp.

“Fucking shit…”

And then, you were making grabby hands for Steve. “Just… just need you a little bit…” was all you managed to breathe out, your eyes cloudy.

“We don’t have much time,” Steve’s low tone was making your Omega cry out in need.

She really didn’t give a shit. She just needed her Alpha. She needed her Alpha.

“I’ll be okay. I’ll be fine. Just… just… just need you, Alpha. Please.”

Alpha.

That term of endearment sent the blood traveling down all the way to his dick. It even made his dick shoot up.

It happened so suddenly.

Your hands shot out to grab the front of his stealth suit. Grabbing him and tugging him down towards you, as his arms went back, to find the zipper. Once he found the zipper, he was pulling it down.

All the way down.

Yanking the suit off of him, your hands sank into his boxer briefs, fisting his cock.

It made Steve hiss in surprise.

Something changed in him.

Like someone had flipped a switch.

He pushed you down. All the way down onto his bed, making you shriek in surprise. It was enough to force for you to even let go of his dick.

And you were keeping a pretty strong grip on it.

But not enough, obviously. You know. Considering the next thing you saw were Steve’s eyes.

Only… they weren’t blue anymore.

They were a deep, dark blue. Deep midnight dark blue, like the night sky. Like Twilight Noir or some shit from a makeup video, you had seen from Michelle Phan a few years ago.

His hands went for your scrub pants, yanking them down by gripping onto the waistband, pulling and tugging them all the way down until they were at your feet. Kicking them off, he even decided to tug down your panties too.

You know. Just for good measure.

Tossing the flimsy material aside, he wasted no time.

Something akin to a gasp, maybe even a cry was expressed from you when he pushed in.

All the way in.

it was so easy. Easier than normal. Steve swore deeply as he felt himself sliding in with ease.

You were so warm. So perfect. Loose and nice. All ready for him.

“Feel that?” his voice was ragged as he breathed against you, his lips ghosting over your gland. “Feel how good you feel round me? Feel how good we are together, Little Omega?”

A whimper.

Sweet noises to his ears, if he said so himself. You choked, your entire body shuddering at the feeling of being full.

Steve heeded no time, his thrusts rough and quick. Every thrust smacked against your hips. He even grabbed your thighs, spreading them apart even further so he could have wider access.

Wet, slapping noises echoed in Steve’s bedroom. If the rooms weren’t supersoldier, heck, even Hulk proof, he was pretty sure anyone walking down the hallway probably would’ve heard what he was doing to you. It was as if someone had deeply possessed him. With every thrust back into you, he watched as your eyes rolled back into your head. Or feeling how hard your hands were desperately holding onto his shoulders. Your nails beginning to dig into his skin cause you were holding him so gosh darn tight.

He was rougher, much rougher than he had ever been with you. And it was okay. You were finding yourself very much in the pro camp of this. You were digging this.

You even wrapped your legs around him. In an effort to bring him nothing but closer to you as he continued to pound into you like his life depended on it.

One of his hands had reached down in between your legs, finding your clit. Roughly rubbing it and matching his rubs with his thrusts, you squealed like a barnyard animal or something.

Something of that nature probably.

While he rubbed your clit and thrusted his erection back into you, your head was surprisingly not smacking into the pillows.

Like… it surprised you.

It really surprised you. You thought your head was gonna behave like a frigging Funk Pop head or some shit.

You felt sweaty. Heavy. Getting even closer to your orgasm with every damned thrust from Steve.

And then you snapped.

You really snapped.

Really, your orgasm came with a bang. It left you nearly speechless as you came with a wordless cry, your toes curling upward as your back arched up. Your orgasm made white noise pound in your ears as bright lights exploded in your vision.

Pleasure erupted from within you as the sensation flooded you like floodgates.

Steve was lost in it.

All he wanted to do was continue to fuck himself into you deeper, prolonging your orgasm. He couldn’t explain how good it felt. Feeling your inner vaginal walls clench around his still hard cock.

Thanks to the damn serum, his erection lasted longer than normal. He could easily go three more rounds. But Steve had places to be.

“You want it? You want me to come in you?” Steve’s low timbre slowly brought you out of your haze.

Owlishly, you blinked up at him in complete and utter surprise.

“W-Well.. you’re not in a Rut, so I guess it would be okay…” your voice trailed off, full of uncertainty.

Three thrusts.

That was how long Steve lasted inside of you before he came. Filling you up completely.

Your Omega cried out happily at this.

You were satisfied. And tired.

Finally feeling him pull out of you after what had seemed to be a while, the empty feeling rushed through you for a second.

Your Omega cried out in dismay.

“You’re gonna come back, right?”

Hearing your words made Steve pause. He looked back at you, still naked as the day he had been born.

“Yeah,” his voice was soft. “I’ll come back. Promise.”

“M’kay…” you were nodding off.

And then you fell asleep to the scent of your Bondmate.

With Steve at the courthouse…

He had been so lucky.

So freaking lucky.

After taking his shower, Steve had immediately dressed up and managed to catch Natasha and Clint before the eight of them, (Tony, Wanda, Sam, and Rhodey included), got to the courthouse.

Luckily for them, they got there on time.

Right on time.

Your cousin had been there first, and she looked confused when she didn’t see you.

“How come she didn’t come?” She asked Steve as the two of them walked down the hallway that led to the room where the hearing was set.

“Her heat came,” was Steve’s soft answer. A nod of understanding came from your cousin.

“Gotcha. Well… I’ll have to check up on her with my heats too if that’s the case…” a sigh from your cousin and a shake of her head made Steve look at her in consideration.

Then, the realization struck him.

Right. Hydra stuff. Right.

“Oh, right.” At Steve’s mutter, a small little smile appeared on her face. “Thank you for understanding, Captain Rogers.”

As the nine of them continued down the hall, Natasha looked a bit nervous. With every step that slowly led her closer and closer to the door, she could feel her own heart thump harder and harder.

Voice low, she spoke. “I’m terrified.”

Clint looked over at his wife.

Usually, if people were to describe Natasha Romanov, they would probably say words like “deadly assassin” “powerful woman” or even “mysterious.”

All of those words just didn’t sound right to her. They didn’t make sense to her.

“You’re Natalia. You’re my student. Of course I care about you, Natalia.”

Yasha’s words echoed in her head as she walked into the courtroom. The nine of them sat down in the audience part of the courthouse, waiting for Bucky.

“Don’t be scared. I’m sure the jury will make a good decision.” Clint reassured her.

Natasha just squeezed his hand.

James Buchanan Barnes had seen nothing like it.

When the prison guard escorted him out of his cell and into the SUV, he had remained quiet on the ride there.

Until he had entered the courthouse.

Everything seemed to flip on its head when he was escorted inside. Walking into the courthouse and into the elevator to get onto the fifth floor.

Just as the elevator dinged and he stepped out, he could feel it.

Deep in his soul. He felt it.

Hell, even his Alpha felt it.

He caught the familiar face of Steve. Natalia. Her Alpha, Clint. And the bird man. Tony Stark was there too. And the witch, who Steve had called Wanda. Her older twin brother Pietro couldn’t make it, considering he was currently busy upstate. Helping with Charles Xavier’s school for mutants. The ocher-skinned Omega was giving him a confident look and a nod of encouragement.

And his girl.

She was here too.

Sitting in the pews next to Steve, although she was a few feet away. They made quick eye contact before he turned back around front.

Once he got to the defendant's table, he sat down with his lawyer.

“You’re doing a great job,” The Alpha known as Matt Murdock told him quietly. Quite enough so he could hear it. He was pretty sure Natalia and Steve heard it too.

“I hope so,” was his quiet mumble.

Matt adjusted his red glasses just as the judge came in.

“All rise,” Bucky heard the bailiff boom from his desk. Everyone stood up at attention as the judge sat down in her seat.

“You all may be seated.”

The sounds of Bucky and Matt’s chairs, along with General Ross’s chair squeaking against the floor echoed in his ears.

“Thank you all very much for being here. As you all know, this is a very high profiled case. I wish to thank Captain Steven Grant Rogers and our fellow Avengers for showing up and giving their testimonies. And, to Miss Romanov-Barton for giving us the mission reports. And lastly, I would like to thank every single member serving on our jury. You have done your country a great service. Now, we shall begin.”

“The United States vs James Barnes case is a very peculiar one. James Barnes has lived three lives. One in the nineteen-forties serving in our US Army as a Sergeant in World War Two against Nazi Germany and the Axis Powers, second as a brainwashed Hydra agent, and third— just as his best friend from childhood and our resident Captain America, Steve Rogers— a man out time. The United States vs James Barnes case falls under the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Amendments. He is also being tried under cases of prisoner of war, murder, terrorism, treason, and insurrection in insinuating a riot.”

Bucky swallowed deeply. He looked absolutely nervous. He was downright terrified.

“Does the jury have a verdict?” The female Alpha spoke to the lead juror.

“Yes, Your Honor.” One of the jurors answered.

“Evidence shows that Sergeant Barnes was not in the right state of mind and suffered emotional and physical torture at the hands of Hydra. His code words, given to us by Miss Romanov from the red Hydra book conclude to the jury that Sergeant Barnes was not doing what he was ordered under his own violation.”

“We the jury found Sergeant Barnes not guilty under the charges of murder, terrorism, treason, and insurrection of insinuating a riot. We also found Sergeant Barnes not guilty under the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Amendments.”

Bucky’s Omega stared at the judge, a stray tear rolling down her face.

That meant…

“Very well. Under the court of law and the state of New York, I announce that Sergeant James Barnes is not guilty of his charges. This case is resolved.”

"The jury, thank you for your service today. The court is adjourned. I will please request that our federal government pays Sergeant Barnes the dime he is owed for every day in captivity. Sergeant Barnes, you’re free to go.”

The banging of the gavel snapped everyone out of their stupor.

Bucky barely registered General Ross getting up and marching out of the room. The jury was escorted out, handing their badges to the bailiff before they left the room.

“Congratulations, Sergeant Barnes.” Matt smiled at him. Even if he couldn’t see the other Alpha, because he was blind.

“Buck.”

Steve’s low voice snapped him out of his daze.

His mouth was still agape as he looked at his old pal.

“We did it, Yasha. You’re free.” He could have sworn Natalia was crying tears of joy.

Her words sank in.

Free.

James Buchanan Barnes was finally free.

Taglist: @bxnnywriting, @greeneyedblondie44, @hawsx3, @sunflowerfive

Fic Taglist: @openup-yourmind, @captainson-of-coul

#steve rogers x asian!reader #steve rogers x reader #abo dynamics #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction

26 notes · View notes

fxirytqles · 3 years ago

Text

𝖲𝗁𝖾 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾?

(remus lupin x slytherin!reader)

Y/N was a well know Slytherin student.

Always following the houses traits, she was cunning, ambitious and a great leader.

Y/N was making her way down the halls with a note book and quill in her hand,

Y/N was on her way to the school library to catch up on some charms work she had not been able to finish.

"Y/N" One of her friends called "Yes, Freya, how can I help you?" Y/N asked, turning around to face the sweet Scottish girl who was smiling back at her.

"I think we should of invited Gwen. I mean, I get you guys argued and stuff but surely you can get over it" Freya muttered whilst twiddling with with fingers and staring at the ground. Y/N's body came to a stop and had turned to face the young girl who began to panic "Wait, I'm sorry, like I didn't mean to be rude or anything but you know you have to sort i-" Freya was cut of by

Y/N taking ahold of her shoulder and shaking her head, indicating for her to shut up.

"We will eventually sort it out, so please don't stress about it" Y/N stated softly before patting her shoulder and carried on walking towards the library doors "Hurry up ya' slow coach" Y/N teased now watching a smile make its way back onto Freya.

Y/N pushed the door open to reveal a large room filled with chairs, tables and extremely tall book shelves "Ladies first" Y/N said with a humours tone and bowing to the brunette girl who looked as if she was about to laugh but had managed to keep it in, which was lucky on her part because Madame Pince (the schools librarian) had just walked passed the two girls who were stood at the door way and had not yelled nor shushes them instead just nodded her head and carried on walking.

"I hate you" Freya whispered, smacking her friend lightly against the arm who returned the gesture by wacking her friend on the back of the head "Be quiet, woman" Y/N whisper back and rolled her eyes.

Both the girls began walking down the long, narrow aisle and passing by a few first year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs who looked to be doing their homework

"I've found a free table" Y/N heard Freya whisper into het ear "Well lets go to the-"

Y/N was cut of by Madame Pince shushing the two Slytherins, who ducked their heads and made their way towards the free table.

"One second, let me go grab the right books" Y/N said getting up and walking over to one of the huge book shelves in the library "Charms, charms, charms" Y/N murdered to herself, her eyes scanning over every book along the shelf but not seeming to find the book she was searching for.

Y/N had made her way back over to her friends and whispered in her ear "I will have to look on a different aisle, okay?" Y/N asked her friend who just ended up giving her a quick nod and then started to unpack her bag so she will be ready to study. "Maybe the next one over will have it" Y/N whispered to nobody in particular, once

Y/N had made her way over to the book shelve she began to look for the book she needed "Ah, found it" Y/N exclaimed but in a hushed voice, not really being in the mood to be told off once more by Madam Pince.

As Y/N went to grab the book she had been endlessly searching for, another hand had made contact with hers, who ever it was had also been searching for the hard to find Charms book.

Once Y/N turned around she had noticed it was on of those marauder boys, Remus Lupin, Y/N felt a smirk make it way onto her face as she yanked the book out of the boys grib and held it tightly to her chest. "That's some good grip you got there, Lupin" Y/N complimented, noticing a redish tint make it's way on to the Gryffindors face, her smirk got even wider "Oh, don't tell me that's all it takes to get you blushing, Lupin, surely people must be complimenting you left and right" Y/N carried on as she watched the boy turn his face to the side and look over to one of the tables for a few minutes before looking back at her.

When Y/N looked over the boys shoulder she understood who he was looking at, sat on a table to the far right sat Sirius, James and Peter, who all seemed to be in their own world most probably waiting for their friend to come back "Come on, Lupin, talk back, I promise you I don't bite the cute ones" After Y/N's comment Remus' face went back to being a crimson red. Y/N after noticing once again, had let out a little chuckle and grabbed his hand, pulling the young boy closer in the process "I mean, look at that magnificent grip, do you play quidditch by any chance?" Y/N asked "No" Remus mumbled back, still not making any eye contact with the (h/c) Slytherin girl

"Oh no, that was one of your other friends, was it not, what is his name, Potter, or Black, wait they both play right?" Y/N quizzed, now holding the boy's hand and intertwining their fingers which made the boy's eyes widen.

"Oh, Moony, what's taking ya' so lon-" The voice of Sirius Black was cut off once he had see the scene in frony if him. "Oh, nice to meet you, Black" Y/N greeted with a slight smugness in her voice "If you can not see, me and your lovely friend here" Y/N said gesturing towards the brunette boy with her free hand "Are having a conversation" Y/N finished, giving Remus' hand a little squeeze after she had finished talking which cause the boy to cover his face with his hand and look away from the other boys gaze.

"You? you having a chat, a decent chat with a Gryffindor? please don't make me laugh" Sirius laughed out sarcasticly

"Why, yes, weren't we having a nice conversation, Lupin?" Y/N turned her attention towards the other boy and sent him a smug smile. Remus coughed

"Um yeah, yeah we were having a nICe conversation" Remus said with his voice cracking half way though which was caused by Y/N lightly tugging on his hand.

"See, there's your proof" Y/N said holding her head up high, "I can surely give you your friend back if you'd like, but I might end up keeping him a bit longer if you do not require his assistance" Y/N spoke in a mock like tone "Yes" Sirius snapped back "Me, James and Peter want our friend back, so hand him over" Sirua continued, not taking his eyes off Y/N's and Remus' interlocked hands "Well them, I hope you have a lovely rest of you day, Lupin, goodbye" Y/N said before standing up on her tippy toes (cause it doesn't matter what hight you are, my man is along the lines of 6'3, so shush) and placed a kiss to his cheek before letting do of the boys hand and running back of the her friend.

"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀, '𝗟𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗻'?"

- ©fxirytqles

this imagine was taken from my marauders imagine book on wattpad, so if you did enjoy this story please consider checking it out (wattpad name: -fxirytqles)

#imagines #fanfic #writing #marauders #atyd remus #remus x reader #remus lupin #marauders era #ao3 #wattpad #slytherin #slytherin x gryffindor #flustered

106 notes · View notes

vnderoos · 4 years ago

Text

how did it end up like this? ✷ george weasley

(gif is not mine, credit to the owner) warnings / language, underage drinking word count / 13.1k

masterlist in bio ↴

THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE GREAT HALL that morning was nothing short of pleasant as Y/N walked through the large doors, her eyes flickering over the smiling faces of the other students. Part of her was happy that something as simple as a quidditch match was enough to get the whole school excited, but the other part of her thought the day couldn't move on any faster. She just wanted to watch Gryffindor hand Ravenclaw their asses on a shiny, silver platter, and there was no doubt in her mind that she'd get to witness it later.

In fact, she was sporting her red and gold sweater to prove it. It wasn't any old quidditch sweater, though. It was one that Molly Weasley had made for her last summer when she broke her arm after Ginny and the boys tried to teach her how to play, deciding she looked better rooting for them on the sidelines instead. She remembered how Molly had been hesitant to present it to her—like a sweater made from the woman's own hands wasn't all she had wanted after seeing the ones she'd made for Fred and George. I thought you could wear it when you cheer on our boys, she'd said, knowing how close the girl was with her twin sons, and Y/N would never forget the beaming smile on her face when she nearly cried at the sight of it. She had worn that sweater with unbeatable pride ever since.

When Y/N approached the Gryffindor table, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and the twins were all wearing their team sweaters and she couldn't help but grin as she slipped onto the bench beside George. "Lovely day so far, isn't it?" she hummed as she sidled up to the boy, her thigh and shoulder pressing into his own, and despite the flip of her stomach and the fluttering of her heart, she blamed it on wanting to be closer to the group as a whole. A few of their eyes flitted to her as she settled in and soft greetings filtered from their mouths at her presence.

George was, by far, the happiest to see her. A dreamy smile spread across his lips as he looked at her, his little heart pattering when her first instinct was to invade his personal space. He didn't mind in the slightest, of course, and to prove it, he slipped his arm behind her and grabbed her hand. "I reckon it'll get better after the match," he replied, totally oblivious, in true Weasley fashion, to the way her cheeks flushed as she intertwined her fingers with his. The gesture was so normal for them that he barely thought anything of it and none of their friends seemed to question it, either.

Fred, who might've looked like his twin save for the shape of his nose and a couple of scars in random places, seemed a lot more invested in the game. "Yeah," he agreed confidently, crossing his arms on the tabletop. "'M sure the Ravenclaws'll soil themselves after we whip 'em on the pitch," he added, a crooked smile settled on his lips and Y/N couldn't help but laugh. "And someone's going to catch the snitch for us tonight, too, eh, Harry?" The older twin jutted his chin out towards the boy, whose dark eyebrows lifted slightly at his name.

Harry's green eyes darted between Y/N and Fred, before he nodded his head. "Oh, yeah, yeah," he said, his expression flickering from surprised to something more certain—more confident. "Cho is a great seeker, but I'm afraid I'm a bit better," he joked, a smile playing on his lips and Ginny scoffed from beside him, throwing a lock of her bright red hair over her shoulder.

"Bit cocky this morning, are we?" Ginny asked teasingly and Y/N could see the way that Harry's pale cheeks prickled with pink. Fred let out a loud laugh. She glanced over at George who fought a small chuckle and she couldn't help but do the same when she realized they had the same thought. She tilted her head down to hide her amusement as George's thumb brushed over the back of her hand, wondering how two people could be so oblivious.

Ron, on the other hand, didn't seem quite as enthused at their exchange as everybody else. "Don't think anyone asked your input," he muttered, his mouth filled with half of his biscuit, and a couple of crumbs fell from his lips as he spoke. Y/N's eyebrows lifted as they fell on the tabletop and she opened her mouth to make a quip about it, but the moment passed and Hermione took it upon herself to swat Ron in the arm. "Ow, what was that—"

In the middle of his moaning, Hermione cut him off with a sharp look. "She's your sister. Be nice, Ronald," she instructed in a motherly tone, before letting her eyes settle on his mouth. It was dusted in pieces of his biscuit and she shook her head at him in disappointment, but annoyance soon took over. "And where are your manners?" she chided.

"Yeah, Ronald. You're lucky mum's not her to wack you with the dishrag, but from the looks of it, you might get a book to the head instead," Ginny piped up again, referring to the dog-earred novel that sat next to Hermione's plate of food, and the group erupted into laughter. Y/N threw her head against George's shoulder, laughing into him, and she could feel the rumble of his chest as he let out his own chortles.

Even Hermione was giggling, but Ron got so flustered, even his ears turned pink. "Oh, shut it, Ginevra," he whined, after swallowing his foot for once. "I hope you fall off your broom during the game," he told her and Ginny hadn't been too far off, because Hermione picked up her book and gave him a good smack in the shoulder. His head whipped to the girl beside him and he gave her an offended look, lifting his hand to rub his shoulder, before he looked at Y/N. "The abuse I get from this one. George is lucky that you're so passive," he muttered and she nearly felt her heart stop in her chest.

The breath felt like it'd gotten sucked right out of her lungs and her eyes widened. She looked over at George when she couldn't find the words to speak for herself and she found his cheeks nearly as red as Ron's had been before. "What's that supposed to mean, Ronnykins?" he asked, making a halfhearted attempt at a silly nickname to keep the mood light and it only partially worked.

Either way, it had bought Y/N enough time to get over her initial shock of the question. "George and I are friends, of course, he's lucky," she hummed. "But you and 'Mione are what, exactly?" she asked, taking pleasure in the way that she directed the spotlight to him instead, and Ron seemed to sink into himself. Y/N and George laughed after that, but he couldn't help but let her words bobble around in his head.

Friends.

—

Sometimes, it was a little scary how good Fred Weasley was at predicting the outcome of quidditch games. It was like the game ran in his blood, and considering how he and George played on the field, maybe it did. He was the sole reason why a Gryffindor win never came as a surprise to Y/N, and this one was no different. When Harry had disappeared beneath the bleachers with Cho Chang, in a race for the snitch, the crowd had fallen silent, waiting with bated breath.

She knew it was impossible, but she liked to think that every time Harry's fingers wrapped around that winged ball, she could feel it in her very soul. When he'd flown out from underneath one of the Ravenclaw stands waving his fist in the air and flashes of gold streaked through his glove, she wasn't the least bit surprised. In fact, she called it instinct.

With Gryffindor already in the lead and the snitch in Harry's fingers, the win was official. Y/N could feel it radiating through her body, chills spreading through her limbs, and through the rest of their house, triumphant uproar filling her ears as soon as the game was called to a close.

Merlin, she loved quidditch. Especially that part, where the whole school would watch in suspense, and then when the snitch was caught, it would be absolute chaos.

As a cheer ripped itself from Y/N's own lungs, loud enough to make her throat raw, and her eyes surveyed the team on their victory lap, looking for her favorite troublemaker, she figured that maybe she just liked the chaos. She stood up on her seat when she spotted his flash of red hair beside his brother, identifying him by the hook in his nose, and she knew he'd seen her when he lifted his hand in a wave. She grinned back at him, flailing her arm in the air, and when he and Fred made their way to her side of the pitch, they shouted her name in passing. She just laughed and shook her head as they flew by.

Y/N took it upon herself to meet the team down on the bottom of the pitch after they'd landed and everyone else had dispersed, heading back to their common rooms to either wallow in the loss or, in Gryffindor's case, relish in that fantastic win.

Harry was the first one she saw when she stepped onto the grassy field, his dark hair matted to his sweaty forehead and his green eyes glittering with the satisfaction of securing the win, and she let out a squeak when they locked eyes. So worked up with pride for her house and her beautifully athletic friends, she couldn't keep herself from skipping up to him excitedly. "Harry," she said firmly, clapping him on the shoulders while he looked at her with a smile. "You, my friend," she paused, pointing a finger at his chest, "are bloody brilliant," she said, lifting that same hand to tweak his nose and he laughed.

Ron, who was standing only a couple of feet away, made his way over, a small laugh spilling from his lips, and Ginny wasn't far behind. "You know, if you weren't so clumsy, I bet you'd make a great captain, Y/N/N," the redhead teased and her eyes darted over to him. His fingers were wrapped around the handle of his broom and he was so sweaty, his robes were clinging to his skin.

Y/N broke out into a smile at the keeper. "Yeah, well, I think we all remember what happened over summer," she said and Ginny chuckled from the side. "See?" She jutted her thumb over towards the girl and locked their elbows together.

Ginny looked over at her with a small shrug. "S'okay. I think we'd all crash and burn if we didn't have you cheering us on every match, anyways," she said, earning nods of agreement from the boys and Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Oh, whatever." She patted Ginny's hand with her own, before she took a look around. "Anyone seen the boys?" she asked, her eyes flitting back to the three and Harry nodded towards them. Fred and George were off to the side a couple of feet, talking with Katie Bell and Angelina Johnson. Fred's broom was propped against his side and his hands were stretched out in front of him, a smile wide on his face as he spun up one of his stories. Y/N let out a huff of amusement. "Well, I'm gonna go congratulate them on the win, but you guys did amazing," she said, sliding her arm out of Ginny's and letting her eyes bounce off of all of them. "See you later." And with that, and a couple of quiet goodbyes, she was off towards the twins.

Y/N could see Angelina smile and nod at her as she ran excitedly towards the group and George spun around to meet her eyes. His red hair was damp with sweat, tucked behind his ears to keep it from falling into his eyes, and his skin glistened with the glow of a good game. She adored post-match George, he was prettier than usual. "Hello, darling," he hummed, making her heart melt in her chest, and he held his arms out to her. "Come to gush over us, have you?" he teased, but she hardly even registered it as she threw her arms around his shoulders. George wasn't even fazed by the impact—as this was something she did after every match, win or lose—and he lifted her up off of the ground, giving her waist a good squeeze before he set her back on her feet.

"Oh, I absolutely did," she said, pulling out of his arms so she could look at the other three, but he managed to keep an arm around her waist. "You all did so good, I'm so proud," she hummed. "You two and Alicia were marvelous. I mean, those last few scores were beautiful," she said, making the girls all bashful. "And Fred—" she started, but George couldn't help but look down at Y/N as she praised them all, warmth spreading through his chest at the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about the game, her words fading out for him.

Y/N was no different than she usually was after they'd won, but he often forgot how endearing she was when she rambled on about something she was passionate about. George curled his fingers slightly and brushed the tips along her side softly, watching her curiously as she went through their plays. Part of him hated that they were so close, because it made the frequent urges to kiss her to much harder to ignore. She was with him all the time and it was all he thought about anymore, even though he knew that just one peck might ruin everything. He was so certain that she thought of him as nothing more than a best friend that he kept it to himself.

Well, himself and Fred.

It was so bad sometimes that Fred would have to smack him to draw him back to reality.

George's train of thought came to a screeching halt when Y/N turned towards him. She always saved him for last, which he didn't mind. In fact, it made him feel more special, because she'd focus all her attention on him, then, and he'd get to walk her back to the common room. "And George—bloody hell—when you saved Alicia from that bludger, I nearly lost my voice. That was so badass," she said.

He could feel his stomach swirling with joy and his cheeks heating up at her words, and he caught Fred wiggling his eyebrows from over Y/N's head. That git, he thought to himself, but he kept his smile for her. "You think?" he asked and she nodded her head quickly. "Well, since we've all got something to celebrate, then," he paused, looking at Fred and the girls with a mischievous grin, "I propose we break out a bit of the Ogden's," he suggested.

Y/N looked up at him with a gaze that made his insides turn to mush. "I would be thoroughly disappointed if you didn't," she hummed, glancing between him and his brother.

Fred laughed, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "Well, that settles it," he said.

—

Hermione watched Y/N throw yet another sweater on her bed, as if she hadn't already emptied her entire trunk onto her mattress, and she let out a sigh. She was already dressed, but Y/N seemed to be having a hard time picking out her own outfit. "Why don't you just wear that green sweater? Not very suiting for a Gryffindor win, but you know George loves you in anything," she stated, walking over to the girl's bed and lifting up a forest green, cable-knitted sweater.

Y/N shot her an incredulous look, still leaning halfway into her trunk, and her lips parted slightly. "What in Godric's name would George have to do with my outfit?" she asked, even though they both knew good and well that she wanted to look nice for the younger twin. It was too bad that she had a hard time admitting it to herself, let alone her friends. Maybe it was because she usually felt like a lost cause with him. She was so far up friendship's ass with George, she really didn't see any hope of climbing out.

"Fine," Hermione sighed, folding the sweater neatly and setting it back on the bed with the rest of Y/N's bunched up clothing. "You're probably going to get hot with the fire and that alcohol in your system, so," she paused, letting her eyes dart from one piece of clothing to another, until she picked out the perfect outfit, "how about you try this on? If you don't like it, we can default to the sweater," she suggested, holding up a pair of ripped, boyfriend jeans and a dark red tank top with lacy detailing. "You could wear it with your sneakers, too, so you're still comfortable," she added.

Y/N got up off of her knees and took in the outfit. She'd always been to self-conscious to throw it on without a shirt underneath or a cardigan, but what was better than wearing it in the comforts of her own common room, where everyone was about to get too plastered to care, anyways? She took the clothes from Hermione, running her fingers over the fabric and she glanced up at the girl. She knew she would probably regret the words that were about to come out of her mouth, but it wasn't like her feelings were ever that much a secret to anyone. "You reckon he'll like it?" she asked hesitantly.

A warm smile spread across Hermione's lips, feeling a bit honored that Y/N had trusted her with somewhat of a confession, and she nodded. "You'll look beautiful, Y/N/N. I'll wait for you on the stairs while you change, then, and we can walk in together, okay?" she asked and Y/N nodded.

Hermione turned to leave, but Y/N stopped her before she could, giving her wrist a gentle squeeze. "Thank you," she said. "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes," she mumbled and the girl smiled.

"I know," she teased, walking out of the room with a wink and leaving Y/N to get dressed.

The second Hermione left her to her own devices, she cast a quick spell to tidy up her mess of clothes and drop them back in her trunk. After that was settled, she shimmied out of her game-day outfit and pulled on the one Hermione had chosen for her instead. She felt a lot more self-conscious than usual, after she'd been wearing a sweater all day, but she got over it quickly when she glanced in the mirror. She'd done her hair and makeup before she'd looked for an outfit, so she wouldn't have had to worry about it, and looking at herself, now, she knew she'd made a good choice.

A half-smile settled on her lips as she studied herself in the mirror, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, and she turned, looking over her shoulder to check how her backside looked in her jeans. The jeans were snug in all the right places and she couldn't help but hope that her favorite twin might notice, as well. "Oh, yes," she hummed to herself with satisfaction, before she walked over to her nightstand. She slipped a couple of gold rings onto her fingers and popped in a pair of hoops.

Once she was all finished, she made her way out of the room, only to find Hermione waiting on the top step, just like she'd said she'd be. "Bloody hell," Hermione muttered when Y/N made herself known, her lips parting slightly as she took in her outfit.

Y/N's eyebrows lifted at Hermione's reaction and she felt the sudden urge to fold in on herself. She glanced down at herself and brushed her hands over her exposed stomach. "How do I look?" she asked, a sheepish smile spreading across her face.

"Stupid," Hermione hummed and Y/N's eyes widened, "because you ever even worried. You look gorgeous," she complimented and the girl felt her cheeks flush. "C'mon, let's go show you off," she said, grabbing her hand and starting down the stairs.

Y/N could feel her heart hammering in her chest, sudden nervousness prickling underneath her skin, and she almost wanted to turn and hightail it back up that staircase, but she didn't. She let Hermione lead her into the common room, where all the other Gryffindors were already dispersed throughout, talking with their friends or on their way to making new ones. She felt her nerves dissolve when her eyes met George's across the room. He looked like he'd showered since the game, as the dirt and the sweat were long gone, leaving his hair all shiny and fluffy. She had to fight the urge to go over and thread her fingers through it when he smiled at her. She was about to tell Hermione she'd catch up with her later, before the girl pulled her hand away.

She looked at Y/N with bright eyes, glancing at Ron, Harry, and Ginny, who were immersed in conversation by the designated snack table. "I know you probably want to talk to George, but I still wondered if you'd be mad if I went with Ron and Harry?" she asked and Y/N was almost relieved that she'd beat her to the chase.

She shook her head quickly and gestured over to them. "No, not at all, 'Mione," she said, urging her over there. "I'm sure we'll merge with you guys sooner or later, so I'm not worried. Go get him," she finished with a wink, not missing the way that Hermione's cheeks flared. Her mutual feelings with Ron were anything but subtle, so she liked to tease the girl about it with every chance she got, but she knew they'd never act on it until they admitted it to themselves.

Once Hermione mumbled a goodbye and walked away, Y/N's eyes snapped back to George, who'd started making his way over to her as soon as Hermione left. She felt herself smile and she moved to meet him halfway, taking in his outfit as she did. He was wearing a sweater that his mom made for him, a navy one with the letter 'G' stitched in gold on the front, and a pair of jeans. It was simple, but something about it made her heart skip a beat when the distance had been closed between them.

George's free hand, the other occupied by a drink, came to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to him by the small of her back, and he let out a loud wolf whistle. "Well, don't you look absolutely stunning tonight, darling," he complimented, making a show of brushing her hair out of her face to see her earrings and holding one of her hands up to check out her rings. Usually, he'd be more embarrassed about being so forward, but with the familiar buzz of firewhisky already tingling in his fingers, he didn't really care.

Especially not as Y/N's cheeks turned about as red as her top, and she leaned forward. She wrapped her arms around his torso and buried her face in his sweater, laughing softly in slight embarrassment. "Thank you, Georgie," she said, looking up at him once she felt her cheeks lighten up, and he smiled down at her. "You don't look too shabby yourself," she complimented, plucking at his sweater as she pulled away, and she watched a crooked smile curve onto his lips.

"What d'you mean, Y/N/N?" George hummed teasingly, patting his own cheek. "I always look devilishly handsome," he added and she rolled her eyes up at him. He took it as a win when she didn't explicitly deny it. He set one hand on her bicep and let it trail down to her wrist softly, while he emptied the contents of his cup into his mouth with the other. "Anyways, I'm gonna go refill. Did you want me to grab you a drink?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Sure, I'll wait for you over there," she hummed, pointing to the wall on the other side of the room where George had come from before. Angelina and some of the other chasers were gathered in front of it, as beautiful as ever, and Y/N figured she might say hello.

George nodded at her request. "Be right back," he told her, giving her hand a squeeze, before he slipped away. She found herself missing their close proximity as soon as he left, taking the warmth of his body with him, and she half-wondered if she should just follow him to the drink table. She didn't want to give anyone any ideas about them, though, so she stuck with her original plan and made her way over to the fireplace, where Katie, Alicia, and Angelina were all huddled together.

Alicia was the first to notice her, a bright smile stretching across her pretty, pink mouth, and she tucked a tuft of her chocolate hair behind her ear. "Well, well, well," she hummed, her brown eyes scanning the length of Y/N's body, and she stepped towards her with her hand on her hip. "Somebody looks hot," she drew on with a grin, reaching out to welcome her with a side hug.

Y/N could feel her face get warm again at the comment, as she wasn't used to such attention, and she returned the side hug. "Says you," she retaliated, taking in the black tube top and red, leather skirt that Alicia sported herself. She took in the girl's dark eye makeup and glossy lips, and if she wasn't so into George, she might've had some questions for herself. "You're a total smoke show," she said and the brunette laughed. She pulled away from Alicia and her eyes landed on Katie, in her maroon jumpsuit, and Angelina, with her sparkly, gold, minidress. "Good Godric, you all are," she corrected herself, a beaming smile gracing her face when she took in how pretty her friends were.

"Thank you, Your Hotness," Alicia slurred, her cheeks a little pink from the Ogden's and it finally clicked why she seemed so forward. Y/N laughed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I was disappointed that I didn't get to see you after the game, but I heard ol' George whisked you away," she teased, waggling her eyebrows and eliciting yet another giggle from the girl.

Angelina threw her arm over Y/N's shoulder and leaned into her, while Katie did the same to Alicia. She braced herself against her shoulder, tipping her drink to her lips before speaking. "Yeah, speaking of your little boytoy," Angelina hummed, making Katie almost snort. "Honestly, I don't understand how he's more than three feet away from you, right now, you look so good," she said.

Y/N couldn't help from glancing over her shoulder at that, looking at the refreshment table for George, but she couldn't seem to find him, so she turned back. "Well, he was supposed to be getting me a drink, but I feel like he's taking a bit long," she said, her heart sinking slightly. Sometimes she liked or when they poked fun at her about her relationship with George, because if people noticed, maybe that meant he felt something for her, too. Times like now, though, where she felt like it was impossible for him to look at her as anything other than a sister, not so much. "Plus, it's not really like that between George and I, you know? We're good friends is all," she added, ignoring the way it almost hurt her to admit it.

None of the girls seemed to buy into that, though. Especially not Katie. "Not like that, my arse, Y/N/N," she said. "Friends don't look at each other the way you two do. I mean, the both of you are so clueless, it hurts," she continued, putting her hand over her heart and letting her head lull back as she let out an exaggerated groan.

Alicia nodded, seconding Katie's words. "Honestly. Plus, friends aren't all over each other the way you two are, either," she said. "I mean, I think it might kill him to go a day without holding your hand, or brushing your hair behind your ear, or touching you," she explained and Y/N felt queasy all of the sudden.

They were right. Normal friends didn't look at each other or touch each other in the ways that Y/N and George did, but they weren't just normal friends. They were best friends. George was her moon and stars at this point and she would never, ever hesitate to give him the world if he'd asked it of her, but what happened between them—every glance, every touch, every word—was strictly platonic.

Right?

Y/N didn't have time to respond before a familiar voice piped up from behind her. "Hey, ladies," Fred, she found when she looked over her shoulder, sing-songed as he made his way over to them. His eyes were focused mainly on Angelina, a soft smirk playing on his lips as he drank her in, before he let his eyes flicker between them all. "Mind if I steal our lovely little Y/N away for a bit? I've got matters to discuss with her," he said, winking at Angelina when they locked eyes again, and he watched the girl remove her arm from around Y/N.

"Just bring her back in one piece. We know you've got a habit for blowing things up," Angelina teased.

She nudged Y/N in Fred's direction and he donned a look of mock offense. "I'd never hurt a hair on her pretty head," he said, before letting a grin stretch out onto his lips. Y/N rolled her eyes at his theatrics and stepped closer to him, nodding at him in a silent way of saying she was ready. "Bye, Angie." He flicked his eyebrows at her in farewell, waiting for her to give him a flirty wave off, before he followed Y/N.

She stopped when they were out of the girls' earshots and she rested her back against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked over at Fred. "Am I in trouble, Freddie?" she asked in a teasing tone.

Fred looked down as her words pulled a quiet chuckle from his mouth. He placed his forearm on the wall above their heads as he settled in next her, leaning against it so he could just face her instead of leaning his back on the wall like she was. "Well, dear Y/N, that depends on how you look at it," he told her and she raised her eyebrows in question. He leaned forward as if to be more secretive. "I'm sure you'd be happy to know Georgie's not taken his eyes off of you since you walked in," he explained in a whisper, and she felt her cheeks turn pink.

Fred pulled away as she blushed, laughing to himself. She lifted one of her hands to her cheek, feeling how warm it was beneath her fingertips. "Shut up, you git. That was mean," she tried to hiss, but a laugh ultimately bubbled out of her lips.

He shrugged his shoulders and took a drink from his cup, his signature smirk still lingering on his face. "I wasn't teasing you that time, but whether you believe me or not is up to you. I wanted to talk to you about something else, anyways," he said, moving on from the topic of his brother. He took his hand off the wall and he shifted his weight, something near to nerves settling in his stomach. "Look, I'm sure you've picked up on how I feel about Angelina, yeah?" he asked.

"No." Y/N pretended to look surprised, letting her jaw drop as she let out a dramatic gasp. She got her bit of fun out of the way before Fred shot her a look and she cut it out. "I have," she admitted, on a more serious note, with a small shrug.

He nodded once. "Well, I wanted to make a move tonight and I think you should be the one to help me."

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at that, tucking her hands into her back pockets. "And how do you want me to do that?" She asked and Fred's face lit up as he explained his plan. "Well, you'll have to get me a drink or two first."

"That, I can manage," he hummed, already holding the rest of his out for her.

—

George had just finished pouring himself and Y/N new cups of firewhisky when a group of other Gryffindors rushed to the table for the same reason. Feeling almost lucky that he'd finished when he did, he lifted their cups up off of the tabletop and maneuvered himself around them. His eyes trailed along the wall where she said she'd be at, making sure he could pick her out in the crowd, and his heart nearly fluttered out of his chest when he did.

Y/N was standing in front of the fireplace and she looked enchanting, even with Angelina Johnson hanging off of her shoulder. Her hair fell in pin straight sheets over her bare shoulders and the fire behind her created an outline of golden light behind her. If George had been any drunker, he might've mistaken her for an angel, honestly. He watched her mouth break out into a smile, a laugh that he couldn't hear from so far away bubbling from her lips, and he was about to make his way over to her, when Lee Jordan stepped in front of him.

"Georgie, my man," Lee said, beaming as he held up two shot glasses filled with a clear liquid. "Let's knock back a quick one," he suggested, holding one of them out to the redhead.

George was almost disappointed by his offer, letting out a sigh. He'd only talked to Y/N for a minute or two before he'd left her earlier, and right now, he was more focused on getting back to her than getting sloshed. "Lee, I'm sorry, but I was just about to—" he cut himself off when his eyes flickered back to Y/N and she wasn't there anymore. His eyebrows furrowed quickly, wondering where she'd gone so quickly, before his eyes wandered further down the wall and his stomach dropped. Her back was leaned against the wall while Fred, his own brother, stood next to her with his hand propped over their heads. He was whispering something in her ear, and George just knew he wouldn't like it when he saw how pink her cheeks got. Hot jealousy bubbled up inside of his chest and his eyes flickered back to Lee. "You know what, yeah. Let's do it," he hummed, repositioning the cups so he was holding them by the rims in one hand.

"That's what I'm talking about," Lee grinned and he held up one of the shot glasses, which George took more than eagerly, now. "On three?" he questioned and George nodded. "Right. One. Two," he counted, but in the place of 'three', he and George threw back their shots and swallowed them.

The liquid was bitter as it trailed down George's throat, but he knew the taste of vodka well enough to not ask Lee what it was. He'd had it so many times, he'd hardly flinched, either. "Here, Lee. Thanks," he hummed, passing the boy his glass back, and Lee nodded. George was about to excuse himself and walk over to Fred and Y/N. What he'd say, he wasn't really sure, but he didn't get the chance to think about it before his thoughts were interrupted.

"Alright, alright," a familiar, feminine voice shouted at the top of their lungs, quieting the entire common room in a matter of seconds. His eyes flickered to the center of the room where his very own Y/N stood on top of a table, with a drink he hadn't seen her with before and her hands held up in the air. He wanted to be angry at her, for talking with his brother over him, but she wasn't with him, now, so maybe he'd just chalk it up to bad timing on his end. She looked really beautiful, though, with her cheeks flushed because all the attention had shifted to her and her hair tied back in a low pony tail, something she'd probably done when he took his shot. "Who's up for some spin the bottle?" she yelled, before the common room erupted into roars.

George laughed to himself and he started towards her.

Things were about to get interesting.

At this point in the evening, the Gryffindor common room and everyone in it had been divided into two groups: those who were going to play spin the bottle, and those who wanted to keep partying on their own. Y/N, George, and all of their friends—with a couple of others sprinkled into the mix—had gathered on the half of the room intent on participating, all sat on the carpet in a tight circle. Everyone's knees were brushing against each other, all their cheeks flushed pink from the firewhisky, and excited smiles sat on all of their faces. "I'm going to assume that everyone knows how to play," Fred said as he placed an empty bottle of Ogden's Old in the center of the circle, having taken it upon himself to lead the pack after Y/N pretended the entire thing was her idea. Why he couldn't have just suggested it himself was beyond her.

George—who sat on the opposite side of the circle from Y/N, much to his dismay—chuckled and he leaned back onto the palms of his hands. "I'm sure if they don't, they'll pick it up quick," he hummed, and murmurs of agreement spread around the circle. The rules of the game were simple, really. Someone would the chain and spin the bottle, share a kiss with whoever it landed on, and then, the person they kissed would spin the bottle and the cycle would continue. As he waited for Fred to reclaim his spot in the circle, he knew exactly who he wanted his bottle to land on, but he wouldn't admit it for anything. "Who's first, then?" he asked, his eyes flitting around everyone, and his eyes locked with Y/N's for a moment. His heart melted when she flushed him that kind smile of hers and he managed one back.

Y/N couldn't help but be slightly disappointed that George had never returned with her drink earlier, as that meant her time with him had been cut short. She'd been hoping Fred's game might've changed that, but when she'd ended up sitting across from him, her hopes had dwindled. They still weren't too high, because the odds of her spin landing on him were about one in thirteen.

"I think Y/N/N should be the first to go, since this was her idea," Fred chimed from her left. He was lucky that Dean and Neville were positioned between the two of them or she probably would've punched him on the leg. Since she couldn't reach him from where she was sitting, she settled for a glare instead. He only smiled all-but-innocently in return. She had an inkling that this wasn't just about him and Angelina, after all.

Seamus, who was seated on her right, nodded. "It only seems fair, yeah?" he seconded. If only Y/N had known him better, because she wanted to punch him, too.

When the rest of the Gryffindors came to the same decision, Y/N sighed, deciding to give in. "Fine, if you all insist," she said and she reached up to tuck her framing strands of hair behind her ears. She leaned forward and reached into the middle of the circle, trying her hardest not to just stare straight up at George like she was dying to do, and she gave the bottle a good whirl. The second she did, her heart felt like it might jump out of her chest, but when she straightened up again, she tried to keep her cool. Part of her wanted for the bottle to land on George, so she could get the thought of kissing him out of her head, finally, but the other part of her prayed it didn't.

Who knew what a kiss could do to a friendship like theirs?

The group fell silent when the bottle started to slow down and Y/N knew that she wasn't the only one holding her breath. It wasn't until the neck passed George and land on Harry, who sat a few people down from him, did she feel like she could breathe again. Relief washed over her at the fact that whatever she had with George was preserved for a little bit longer, and also because she wouldn't have to kiss anyone too eager.

Harry was the happy medium: cute, respectful, and uncomplicated.

A couple of their friends oohed at the outcome and Y/N couldn't help but grin at the green-eyed boy. "Fancy a peck, Potter?" she asked, ignoring the feeling of George's eyes on her, and she watched as Harry nodded. The corners of his mouth were pulled up in an amused smile and he pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Y/N stood up and made her way over to him, before leaning down. She placed her hands on either sides of the Chosen One's face. She quirked her eyebrows up as if to ask if he was ready and he nodded once in response. With that, she pressed a small kiss to his lips. It was short, sweet, and she laughed softly when it was over. "We good?" she questioned, pulling her hands away.

Harry laughed. "We're brilliant," he hummed, before Y/N returned to her spot. He was next to spin the bottle. George hardly even registered it when Harry kissed Alicia next, as he still felt nauseous from watching Y/N kiss someone else. He knew that it was just a silly game amongst friends and that he really had no say in who she kissed or didn't kiss, but it didn't change the fact that it bothered him a little. Y/N, on the other hand, couldn't help but smile when Alicia spun next and wound up kissing Neville. The look on his round face after she'd sat back down beside Ron was just adorable. She swore that girl had left him with stars in his eyes. It was even more precious when Neville's turn landed him a kiss with Hermione.

It was less cute, though, when Hermione spin the bottle and it stopped right on George. The smile that Y/N had been sporting seemed to fall right off of her face, dropping to her feet, along with her stomach. Hermione glanced over at her and smiled awkwardly, knitting her eyebrows together in a way that showed her guilt, but Y/N waved it off. It was just a game. Even so, Y/N wouldn't deny the relief she felt when Hermione chose to kiss him on the cheek, instead.

When it was George's turn to step up, all eyes were on him, including Y/N's. Her mouth felt dry as she watched him from across the circle, his long fingers grabbing the empty bottle, and she swallowed thickly when his eyes flickered to hers. His lips quirked up in a half-smile and he winked at her as he twirled the bottle. She watched in anticipation as it circled around, choosing its next victim, and she was already preparing herself to watch George kiss someone like Alicia when the bottle stopped on the last person she expected.

Her.

Y/N's eyes widened, locked on that glass bottle, and the entire circle either laughed, cheered, or wolf-whistled. No fucking way, she thought to herself as her eyes snapped up to meet George's, which were blown just as wide. This was exactly the kind of opportunity that she'd been waiting for for years, now, but she felt sick to her stomach about it. She had it tangled in her thoughts that this singular moment would make or break them. She took a deep breath as George stood up, reminding herself that it was just a game, but either way, she knew she couldn't have her first kiss with him sitting down. She stood up, too, making her way to the center of the circle and meeting him halfway, her cheeks hot under the feeling of all eyes on her. She wished she'd had more to drink.

Something about George seemed off when she stepped in front of him. He wasn't passed around the school or anything, but she was aware enough to know he'd kissed girls before, but he seemed different, now. He didn't seem to know where to put his hands like he usually did and he swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he did. "We don't have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable," he said to her, his eyes searching her own for anything that could give him an out.

It wasn't like he didn't want to kiss Y/N, because Merlin, did he, but after mulling it over in his head for months on end, he didn't want to throw their first one away in a drunken state. He'd always pictured it special, maybe on a day when he finally got the courage to take her to Hogsmeade. He'd take her to a bookstore, because he knew how much she liked to read, and he'd tell her how beautiful she looked when she could take her eyes off the shelves, and when she got all flustered, he'd lean in and kiss her softly. He'd had it all planned out. He'd been mistaken earlier, he figured, when he'd thought that he wanted his turn to be with Y/N, because now that it was, he was regretting joining this game entirely.

Y/N looked up at him with those big eyes that made his insides bubble and she furrowed her eyebrows up at him. "It doesn't make me uncomfortable," she promised, and to prove it, she reached out and placed her hands on either side of his neck, letting her thumbs rest on his cheeks. He resisted the urge to lean into her touch. "So, you ready to kiss me, Weasley?" she questioned, her words betraying her thoughts, and she flashed him a grin.

All of her hopefulness that, maybe, the kiss wouldn't ruin everything, broke away when George hesitated, shaking his head softly. Her smile faltered and her chest clenched. "Not really," he confessed, pouring salt in the wound.

Ouch. She forced a small laugh, ignoring the way a feeling of hurt splintered through her body. and she tilted her head up at him. "It's just a game, right? It doesn't have to mean anything," she said, hoping to coax him into something quick, because it'd be much more embarrassing if he refused to kiss her in front of all of their friends, who were so adamant on the fact that they were in love with each other. It was pretty far-fetched and awfully one-sided, apparently.

Unbeknownst to her, George was screaming at himself inside his head. He knew it was just a game, he knew it didn't have to mean anything, but bloody hell, he wanted it to. He wanted it to mean something. Y/N wasn't the kind of girl you could just kiss and forget about it. If he kissed her he'd be thinking about it until his hair turned gray. "No, Y/N/N, it doesn't feel right," he whispered, hoping she would pick up on the emotion in his voice, but he knew he'd been asking too much when he saw the look that flashed across her face. He felt awful.

So did she, but for entirely different reasons. "Why?" she whispered, tears pricking in the back of her eyes, but she swallowed the knot in her throat, because how she knew how embarrassing it would be if she cried and he didn't kiss her. "Is it just me?" she asked, her mind suddenly racing. "Is there something wrong with me, I—"

She started in on a ramble and George didn't like where it was headed, because it wasn't her. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her, it was just him. It was all in his head. He shook his head at her quickly to cut her off. "No, no, I just—" He sighed. "I don't want it like this," he confessed, a bit louder than he intended to and Y/N's eyes widened.

"What?"

George would've given anything to just stop the game at that point. He was digging a hole for himself that was gonna be real hard to climb out of. "No, I just meant—" Fucking hell. "I—"

He couldn't even finish. Y/N's hands were starting to pull themselves off of his face slightly, her fingertips the only parts of her touching him, now. Honestly, she thought she might be sick. "George, what does that mean?" she asked, not sure if he'd confirmed what everyone had been saying about them all along or if it was just freakishly bad wording.

Too bad he didn't help much with figuring it out. Instead, George shook his head at her. "It doesn't mean anything," he said. "Let's just get on with it."

Before she had a chance to say anything else, George slipped his hand over her cheek, sliding his fingertips into her hair, and he crashed his lips onto hers. When she felt the warmth of his mouth, she almost felt the world stop turning on its axis, and her hands travelled down to his chest, balling up around the fabric of his sweater as she kissed him back. Y/N's heart was soaring as George tilted her head, finding it easier to kiss her at an angle so their noses weren't brushing together. George kissed her with all the passion he could muster up, his stomach flipping as he did, because if this was going to be the first and last time he kissed her, he needed it to be good. He needed to leave her mind reeling.

A couple more seconds passed, before he forced himself to pull away. It took everything in her to keep from pulling him back in for another; their kiss had lasted the longest, anyways. She managed a small smile up at him, which he struggled to return, before they both walked back to their spots on opposite sides of the circle.

Y/N could hardly breathe as she replayed the kiss over in her head again, choosing to pass her next turn to Ginny, because the girl hadn't gone yet and she didn't think she could stomach another kiss with anyone, especially not after the one she'd just had with George. Her heart was still hammering in her ears and she felt like she was floating, still feeling the ghost of his hands in her hair, and even though she'd denied it for so long, she couldn't anymore. She was absolutely in love with that boy.

But when his earlier words settled in, she snapped out of her trance.

It doesn't mean anything.

Had he meant the kiss?

George wasn't doing much better on his side of the circle. In fact, he almost faked an illness to get out of the next round, knowing he'd be absolutely crushed if he had to watch her kiss someone else after that. The relief he'd felt when she passed it off to Ginny was insane. He didn't know where his relationship with Y/N would go from there, though. It was clear to him now that he was head over heels for her—he always had been, really—but the fact that he still couldn't get her off of his mind after a kiss just set it all in stone. He glanced up at her from across the group, his heart stuttering in his chest when he found her already looking. She flashed him that pretty smile and he panicked, averting her gaze, and he almost wanted to smack himself.

Merlin, he didn't know how he was ever gonna face her again when all he could think about was her lips.

—

When Y/N woke up the next morning, she didn't know what she expected the day would bring, but it certainly wasn't Fred sitting in the seat beside hers in Transfiguration. She had walked into the room, ready to smile at George and start talking about their mornings like they usually did, but she felt a bit nervous when she saw that he'd switched places with his brother instead. George was on the other side of the classroom, partnered with Lee Jordan for the day. He watched her as she came in, but before she could even wave, he looked away.

She furrowed her eyebrows, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach, as she walked up to her desk, earning a close-mouthed smile from Fred as she sat her bags down. "Morning. How's the head?" he asked, tapping his index finger to the side of his head and she let out a huff of amusement.

Y/N took her seat next to him and she rested her elbow on the tabletop. "Fine, I didn't drink enough for a hangover," she told him and he nodded once, flicking his quill and watching it circle around his ink pot mindlessly. "Not that complaining, but how come you're not in your normal seat today?" she asked, glancing over at George. He was already looking at her from across the room, his lips set in a slight frown, and she tried to smile at him, but his eyes flickered to his paper before she got the chance. What was with him this morning?

Fred swallowed. "Not sure," he said, though she got the feeling that he was holding back on her. "He said he and Lee were talking last night and it felt like they haven't seen each other in a bit. Wanted to trade for the day," he elaborated and she nodded.

For her sake, she hoped that what he was saying was true, but as they progressed through the day and George had switched his seat in all of the classes they had together, her hopes were dwindling. It was weird not having him there to make her laugh when the lectures got too serious, but Fred was a close second for the time being. He was just as skilled in the art of comedic relief, but he was a lot less dedicated to his assignments than George was. He would nudge Y/N with his knee and ask her for the answer so often, she finally just angled her parchment towards him.

It wasn't to say that she hadn't enjoyed her time with the oldest twin, but by the end of the day, she was more than ready to be back with George the next morning.

It was just her luck, though, that she wound up with Fred the next day, too.

And the next.

And the entire next week, actually.

It wasn't until Y/N was sitting in the library with Hermione and Ginny that she decided that she'd had enough of it. "I just don't understand what his deal is. Like we kissed, I was there, but there's no need for him to keep tiptoeing around me, you know?" she ranted, tearing her eyes away from her open textbook and leaning back in her chair. "I mean, he barely looked at me after it happened and he's barely looked at me since, and I feel weird. It just doesn't feel right to not be next to him all the time," she continued, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear and letting out a sigh. "Anyways, what was the question again?" she asked, after taking in Hermione's amused smile and Ginny's look of disgust.

"It was just about the Summoning Charm, but I think we need to wait on it," Hermione answered through a small laugh. "I thought you said you didn't mind the time away from him," she hummed, dipping her quill back into her ink pot.

Y/N let out a sigh and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I didn't, when I thought it was for a day," she explained, her mind trailing back to that first moment of truth in Transfiguration. "He wanted to spend time with Lee and I knew it would've been selfish to act like I was his only friend, so I was fine with it, but now, he's not treating me like I'm his friend at all," she continued, emotion churning in her stomach at the fact that she hadn't spoken to him in a week and a half. Every time she tried, he just walked away before she got to him or made up an excuse to leave. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't the least bit hurt by it.

"No offense, but what made you think you'd just go back to being friends after that night?" Ginny asked, sticking a ribbon in her textbook to mark the page and flipping it shut. The girl leaned forward, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

Her eyes widened at the question. "I mean, it was a only a kiss."

Ginny shot her a look. "You're a right liar," she singsonged, a smirk playing on her lips, and she glanced at Hermione, who wore a similar smile. "I think you forget we were there, too. Witnessed the whole thing, actually," she said, scrunching her nose up a bit as she did, and Hermione let out a laugh. "I was a bit worried you'd rip his jumper off in front of us, if I'm being honest," she teased.

Y/N felt her face go hot and her jaw dropped. "I would not have ripped his—"

She was cut off when Ginny shot up in her seat. "Look at your face!" she whisper-yelled, in order to keep Madam Pince's attention off of them, and she pointed her finger. Her cheeks only darkened at that. "You're mad if you think your kiss was friendly. It was the most heated one in that whole game." Maybe there was a bit of truth to her words, because as she recalled, the kisses following were nothing but light-hearted pecks.

"She's got a point," Hermione joined in. "You've been in love with each other for years. I just know you poured months worth of feelings into that kiss," she said.

Y/N could feel her heart fluttering inside of her chest as they spoke and she replayed her kiss with George inside of her head. The way she'd grabbed onto his sweater and pulled him closer to her, the way his hands had been tangled in her hair, the way her toes had curled, and the way her stomach had done summersaults made so much more sense now. He'd kissed her with so much emotion, so much passion, and she'd kissed him back with equal need, just wanting him to know how much she loved him without saying the words, but maybe that's why it was bothering her so much to be apart from him now.

Because he hadn't picked up on it.

"Well, you've seen him," she said. "He's kissed girls before, so what makes me any different? Plus, he's a passionate person, maybe that's all it was," she protested, the feeling that she'd fucked everything up still swimming in her bloodstream.

The girls shot her a look. "You're different because he cares about you," Hermione said, her tone softer now. Y/N looked down at her words, her head spinning slightly as she wondered whether or not it was true, and the young witch placed a hand on top of hers. "You don't see the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention, or how he talks about you when you're not around. He's so taken with you," she explained.

Y/N wanted nothing more than to believe her, but she'd wanted this—wanted him—for so long that it seemed too good to be true. She looked up from her hand, ready to rebut her words, but Ginny stepped in before she could. "If only you could see him on holiday when you're at your parents'. Absolutely hopeless, that one," she explained, but she couldn't help the small smile tugging at her lips. "'Y/N loves this', 'Y/N would like that', and 'I wish Y/N was here'. Oh, and I can't forget my favorite: 'Where's the owl, I've got to write to Y/N', while he's barreling over Ron and Percy in the kitchen. It's quite funny," she explained.

Y/N's heart pattered quickly and she felt a little breathless as Ginny talked about how George was at home. "He does all that?" she asked quietly, chills spreading through her body.

Ginny nodded. "Mum can't wait until you two get together. She's dying to have another girl in the family," she explained, and Y/N couldn't help but smile. She was starting to think that even though George had always felt so far out of her reach...

Maybe he wasn't.

—

George and his possible feelings for her had stayed on Y/N's mind through the rest of her study session with the girls, and as she'd sat in the dining hall that night for dinner, she still hadn't been able to get him out of her head. She'd picked at her food with her golden fork absentmindedly, rolling a potato back and forth across her plate, and she'd barely eaten anything by the time everyone was heading back to their common rooms.

"I was thinking we'd get Snape again," Fred said as he walked with her back to the Gryffindor tower, talking to her about who he planned to slime next. She loved the guy, really, but she'd spent almost all of her time with him in the last week and a half. She'd sat with him in all of their classes, hung out with him during their free period, and he'd even taken to eating all three meals of the day with her. She knew that he was just trying to help, to take her mind off of his brother for the time being, but with the whole identical twin thing, it really just made her miss George even more.

Fred was great, but he wasn't the same. Fred wouldn't hug her so tight that all of her doubts would dissolve in thin air, or keep a protective arm around her at all times, or kiss her forehead. He wouldn't sneak into her dorm for a late night chat on her mattress, or talk about what his future would be like with her, or make her feel special like George did.

In fact, she was quite sure that Fred didn't even know her favorite color.

Y/N could still hear Fred talking, rambling on about his strategy to set up his bucket in a place where Snape walked through frequently, but she was hardly listening. She was too busy wrapped up in her thoughts, wondering why George had just completely shut her out. In the beginning, he would at least send her a longing glance or two, but now she got nothing.

It just didn't make sense, especially not after what Ginny had told her earlier.

"Does George love me?" she asked all of the sudden, the words leaving her lips before she truly had the chance to process them, and she cut Fred off mid sentence.

He nearly tripped over his own two feet, before he looked over at her and laughed softly. "Does George, my idiot brother, love you, the girl he spends all his bloody time with?" he asked, making pointing gestures with his hands and furrowing his eyebrows slightly. She nodded at him, pressing her lips into a thin line. "Are you blind? 'Course he loves you," he assured her like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it could've been, honestly. He was a bit surprised that she'd even asked at all, but then again, he forgot how clueless she was on her own.

Y/N let out a sigh at Fred's answer, because it wasn't worded the way she'd wanted it to be, not that she knew what that was, but it just didn't satisfy her. "No," she groaned, running a frustrated hand through her hair as they walked. "I mean, is he in love with me?" she asked, looking over at him with pleading eyes.

Fred shot her a look, before he nodded once. "Yeah," he hummed with no hesitation and she felt her heart rate pick up. "I know what you meant," he elaborated, and she blinked at him, forcing her gaze to where they were walking again

"Really?" she asked quietly, almost breathlessly, and Fred nodded again. "Ginny wasn't lying?"

"Guess not," the redhead hummed, scratching the back of his neck. "I mean, everyone knows. We've known you two were mad for each other for a while now. I've got bets on when you're getting together," he confessed, a teasing tone laced in his voice, and her eyes widened. Had she really had him this whole time? She wanted to hang her head against the wall for being so oblivious. If she had known sooner, she might've done something about it.

It might've been too late, now, though.

She'd gone and muddied everything up.

Y/N swallowed thickly. "If that's true, why's he been ignoring me lately?" she asked.

Fred looked over at her with tender eyes and a small smile. He'd been expecting her to ask that for a while now, but it was about time. "Look," he started as they started up the stairs in the corridor. "George isn't so strong and courageous like me, you know," he started, not seriously, but it still made her roll her eyes. "He's nervous and soft-hearted, which I'm sure you've picked up on." She definitely had. He was definitely a gentler force than Fred, like a soft rain to his brother's thunderstorm. "He gets his feelings hurt easier, he overthinks things, and he's so very oblivious, love. Sometimes you just need to tell him what's on your mind straight up," he said as he led her up to the portrait of the Fat Lady. He muttered the password to her and she swung open for them. "This is one of those times."

She wasn't really sure what Fred had meant by all of that. All she'd done was kiss George in the midst of a stupid, teenage game, she didn't understand how she might've hurt his feelings or made him feel like she didn't want to be around him, because that was all she wanted. All the time, too. She nodded her head, regardless, and followed the boy through the portrait hole. "So, what am I supposed to do?" she asked as they walked further into the common room. She was about to get her answer from Fred when someone slammed a book shut. Her eyes flickered to the couch in front of the fireplace where George seemed to have been studying.

George had been there all night, waiting for her to come back from dinner. He'd decided that morning that he was sick of wallowing in his thoughts about what had happened all those days ago and he missed talking to her, missed being with her. It'd been painful for him to watch her spend all of her time with his brother instead of him, like it should've been, especially when they'd looked so cozy together at the party, but as he watched them walk in together, her cheeks just as pink as they had been that night, irrational anger spread through his body.

He'd closed his textbook loudly and stood up, no longer in the mood to speak to her, or Fred, for that matter.

Y/N's eyebrows furrowed and her lips parted as George stormed past in a fit of anger, her protests lost on her tongue, and she swiveled back towards Fred. She'd never seen George like that, and she wanted to call after him, but she couldn't find the words so quickly, and she didn't want to just abandon Fred, but—

He cut her thoughts short with a nod towards the portrait hole as George disappeared through it. "Go. Tell him how you feel," he encouraged her, sending a sudden wave of confidence through her body. It spread through her nerves and left goosebumps in its wake, and she nodded.

Y/N flashed Fred a small smile, before she took off after George.

—

Y/N wasn't quite sure how George had gotten so far in such little time—she'd chalk it up to his long legs, maybe—but when she found him, he was pacing back and forth in an empty corridor a few floors beneath the tower, carding his fingers through his red hair as he immersed himself in his thoughts. He hardly even noticed she was there until she stepped a bit closer to him. "What the hell is your problem, George Weasley?" she started, the confidence that had been building up when she'd come after him having turned into pent-up annoyance.

His eyes shot up from the floor and he rolled his eyes when he registered that it was her. "You know what?" he asked breathlessly, more to himself than her, and he let out a bitter laugh. "You're my bloody problem, Y/N," he snapped and it was like a lash from a whip.

She flinched at his words, feeling the sting despite the distance between them, and all of that fire she'd had a moment ago dissipated. In all of the time that she'd known him, he had never spoken to her like that, even when he was angry at her, he'd never called her the problem. He'd never jabbed at her like that. Her eyebrows furrowed and her chest clenched as she looked at him, his face contorted in exasperation. "I'm your problem?" she asked, her surprise masking the hurt. "I don't even know what I did to you," she continued, acutely aware of how hard her heart was racing and how knotted up her stomach felt.

George wasn't doing much better. He was quick to shove the sleeves of his uniform up to his elbows in frustration, bringing his hands to his tie and loosening it up, because he felt so warm all of the sudden. He knew he was being stupid and overreacting at something that probably wasn't even happening, but he'd planted this seed in his own head at the party and he couldn't get it out. He'd made a mistake switching seats with Fred that day, because seeing his twin make her laugh like he did stung. It was like he'd provided her with his own bloody replacement. He hated it.

It wasn't her fault that Fred inevitably became everyone's favorite after some measure of time, but he figured that for Y/N, maybe it'd been the couple of years she'd favored George. "I haven't stopped thinking about it, Y/N, okay?" he blurted, running his hands up his face and through his hair, and he could see the look of blatant confusion on her face. She was about to open her mouth and ask him what he meant, but he beat her to it. "The kiss," he explained, "because I felt something and I thought you did, too, but then, I'd see you with Fred and I wouldn't know what to tell myself," he confessed and it made her head spin.

Y/N's eyes widened at his words and she practically gaped at him. "Wait, Fred?" she asked, almost wondering if she'd heard him right, because she hadn't even realized that Fred was a factor in this. George nodded once and she sputtered out a laugh in disbelief. "Hold on, what makes you think Fred—"

"You've been ignoring me for him for days!"

Oh, he did not.

She reeled back in disbelief, steadying herself against the side of the corridor. "Me?" she repeated, pointing to her chest. "Don't you dare try to put this on me when it was your idea to swap places with him in the first place! You've been avoiding me, you idiot," she yelled, her voice echoing through the hallway, and she would've been surprised that Filch hadn't dragged them away if she wasn't so worked up.

"How is it all my fault when you've barely reached out?" George retaliated, taking a few steps closer to her, and she wanted to pull her hair out.

"I'm not going to waste my time chasing after someone who can't stand to be near me," she explained, "And I didn't know how you expected me to fix this between us, okay?" she said, her voice cracking over the question and she sighed. She tilted her chin up so she could blink back tears, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. "I'm sorry, George," she added, all the anger in her voice having fallen away. She didn't want to fight with him anymore, she just wanted things to go back to normal, and if that meant taking the blame for the entire situation, then so be it.

George felt his heart sink at that, his eyebrows knitting together. "Wait, so you do want to be with Fred?" he asked, the volume having lowered in his voice. She shot him a look of disgust, quickly shutting down his theory about his brother. "For what, then? Kissing me? I don't understand," he continued, his stomach twisting as he spoke, because he hoped it wasn't that, either.

Y/N pushed herself off of the wall slightly, reaching out to take one of his hands in hers. Her heart took flight inside of her chest at the feeling, as it was the first time she'd touched him in what felt like forever. "What? No, I'll never be sorry for kissing you, it's just," she paused, glancing down at the space between his shoes and hers, "Ginny told me you loved me and I just— I was going to try George, I swear, but then you freaked and ran out and—" she cut herself off, pulling her hand back from his and shoving it into her hair. "I should've tried harder, I guess, and maybe—"

George hardly heard anything after he'd heard that Ginny ratted him out. With wide eyes, he couldn't help but ask, "She told you?" His throat moved as he swallowed thickly. "Godric, I'm gonna—"

"No, it's a good thing," she said quickly, pulling her hand out of her hair and holding it out in front of her almost defensively. "I'm just sorry for being so bloody clueless and too worried that you wouldn't feel the same way I did to not tell you," she confessed, and George pinched his arm behind his back to make sure he wasn't dreaming (he wasn't). "And if you're still worried about Fred, I don't care about him, okay?" she blurted, before she realized how it sounded, and her eyes widened. She covered her mouth briefly. "Okay, I do, but not like I care about you, I mean, Fred isn't even an option. Merlin, nobody else is even an option, because it's you, George. I..." she trailed off, staring up at him in search of any sign that she shouldn't say it, that she shouldn't tell him, but all she found was a look of anticipation, and she couldn't help but smile. "I love you," she whispered, tears prickling in the spaces behind her eyes, and she reached out to grab the hem of his sweater.

George didn't say anything immediately, or even for the next minute. He just took a step forward and looked at her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish until he figured out what he wanted to say. "So, that's it, then?" he hummed after a while and she nodded. "You love me?" She nodded again and he smiled slightly, his heart feeling like it might explode. "I reckon I still need you to prove it," he whispered, taking another step closer to her and forcing her to take one backwards, her shoulders pressing against the wall.

She couldn't help but shake her head up at him as he slid one of his arms around her waist, her hands reaching up to cup his cheeks. His skin was warm in her palms and he leaned into her touch, his eyelids fluttering shut, and she brushed her thumbs over a spray of freckles. "I really do love you, Georgie," she whispered and his breath hitched in his throat. With that, Y/N pulled him down to press a kiss against his mouth and this kiss was less eager than the last. There was no question that this wouldn't be their final kiss together, so there was no rush.

George's lips were soft and his kiss was slow, and sweet, drawing her in with every peck. He leaned her back against the wall softly, tilting his head as his mouth slanted over her own, and he braced his arm on the wall above her. After he let her slide her fingers into his hair and thread them through it for a bit, he pulled away gently, his brown eyes staring into her own, and he smiled.

"I love you, too, darling."

↴

author's note / this was a long one, but i think it was worth it. tag list in the comments! :)

#george weasley #george weasley imagines #george weasley x reader #fred weasley #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley x reader #oliver phelps #oliver phelps imagines #oliver phelps x reader #james phelps

813 notes · View notes